Friday, October 24, 2014

It Should Have Been Nice......

I thought it would be nice to go for a run this evening, especially after two days of tidying and recycling and culling and discarding. (I filled three massive bags with things from my past, general clutter and so many files full of crap it's slightly unbelievable.) But I forgot to factor in the people. Come on Helen, remember the people. 

I weirdly enjoyed the run part of the outing. My legs felt good, my breathing was going well enough to not give me stitch status, and the temperature was just right. It was when I had to stop on the way back to go food shopping where it all went wrong. 

Firstly there's the guy who decided he could jump in front of me in the queue with his two bottles of wine. Then there's the freakin' self service machine - okay, technically not a person - which asked me to weigh the product but then asked for store log in. Why didn't it just ask for someone to weigh it, it obviously didn't trust me. But it was funny when the guy assisting the self service checkouts was trying to play the cocktail bartender and dropped one of the bottles of wine. Lucky it didn't smash as I was closest to him, and boy would that have made it all better.

Then the walk back with the heavy bag just had me wondering if anyone watches where they're going? I had to have thousands of eyes to watch what everyone else was doing. They just plough through and I'm dodging and dipping and chicane-ing and apologising. Yes, apologising, when I was the one looking where I was going.

I had children running into me and then again me apologising. Watch where you're going, there's only so much avoiding I can do. 

Then there was the guy who almost walked me off the kerb. I was already keeping my distance, giving people a wide berth and he comes and walks so close beside me, I almost fall in the road. What the actual fuck? Then I turn the corner and there are two people, head in phones, that I have to traverse around by jumping into the road. Then more in, out, in, out, in, out dodging. What is this, sheep dog trials? (One man and his dog. You know what I mean.) Crufts? 

Then don't get me started on the bloody bikes on the pavements. AHHHHHHHH! Get out of my way. People on pavements please. Vehicles on the road. 

Man I should have run further. The people weren't ticking me off then, but walking with I should have arrived back all in pain and tired and sweaty - which I did - but I was also annoyed and tense and riled up. If I had feathers they would be significantly ruffled. 

Good job I don't need to leave the house again until tomorrow, for a wedding. Eek. Maybe somehow I'll regain the ability to accept people, by tomorrow..........If not, there's always alcohol, a great connector of people. 

Okay, I'm beginning to calm down now. Writing can do that to you. It's like the annoyance goes all through your body until it is ready to leave, via your fingertips and into the computer. Or, if you are writing with a pen, then it it travels through your fingertips to the ink and onto the paper. The emotion/idea/scene comes out of you and onto the page, freeing you up for more angst, anger, annoyance or preferably something a little nicer. I guess that's why writing can be so damn powerful. 

Okay this little ranter needs to shower. Now that I've calmed down somewhat, it's time to wash away any residual AHHHHHHHH. Shower gel is pretty good for that too. 

Only one week until Halloween! Yay!


Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Back to.......

Back to reality. Back to work. Back to life. Back to normality - whatever the hell that is. Back to the UK and a shit load of rain. Back to being dark at 6.30. Back to layers. Back from holiday.

After just over two weeks of fires in airport control towers, crazy tall buildings, Amtrak trains, fire alarms going off in hotels at 5am, nice people genuinely interested in where you're from and what you do, copious amounts of football (American), baseball and basketball, and more Country music than you could stack up and fit inside the State Capital of Wisconsin - believe me, it's massive - this ranter is back!

And it's only once you're back in your own world, that you fully realise the extent of the differences between your world and the one you just returned from.

So 16 days away and 12 of them with a car, a luxury and novelty for us, but also a safe haven from bears, wolves and other wildlife, a place to eat, a shelter from the rain and a storage tank for moving around large suitcases. This also meant 12 days of US radio and I have to admit mainly Country music blasting out and a lot of singing along.

Now, back in London, it's odd to have to censor myself and not sing aloud to my iPod as I wander to the bus stop. And speaking of buses, if they're not packed to the rafters, they're on di-bloody-version.

In the states they have it as state law that vehicles yield to pedestrians at crossings, and they have signs at each one that says it. Well come on Britain, wake up! We need this too. There are way too many tossers on the road who don't stop at crossings, even if you have children with you.

And don't get me started on the jet lag. It's more like jet push, shove, spin, suck and spit out again. Though granted that isn't quite as catchy. The time fairy really did a number on me this time, taking hours, giving them back. I wonder if she ever gets confused? It would be hilarious if she fecked up and had excess hours or not enough, or completely screwed up the time zones, or completely eradicated the time zones. Yes. I'm weird.

Things I miss from the holiday:

  • More eagles than I thought actually existed. 
  • Seeing wolves, foxes, chipmunks and deer out out in the wild. 
  • Loads of big ass birds of prey.
  • The fall colours. And yes, I know I said fall, but after two weeks of hearing little else, it kinda sticks in there. (Autumn)
  • The US obsession with fall. I share it, and have come home with so many fall and Halloween decorations and cards and stuff. (Autumn)
  • Maple Syrup and pancakes. Mmmmmm.
  • People telling me to have a nice day. Nobody here gives a crap about my day, and even if they don't, at least they lie convincingly. 
  • People thanking me just for entering a shop, looking around and not buying anything. They actually thank you just for stopping by, instead of giving you the eye like they expect you to ship lift, and making you feel uncomfortable. Thanks. 
  • Exploring and relaxing in somebody else's world. 

Things I won't miss:

  • Road kill. Never seen so many squished animals, blood and guts everywhere. 
  • Burnt out/abandoned motels and houses. So many. So creepy!
  • Political adverts and the voice overs used for them. So condescending.
  • Diet adverts and the voice overs used for them. So laughably unrealistic. 
  • Draughty, hole in the floor toilets. But sometimes you're out in the woods and you gotta pee. Draughty bum time. 
  • Godzilla size portions at meal times. Man it's a good job we found some 'lighter' options after we left Chicago, otherwise I'd be at least two stone heavier. 

Okay, this ranter is hungry and can smell the cooking from the kitchen - not difficult, the kitchen is in the living room and about two metres away. A huge thanks to everyone that read the Kate Bush blogs, they have had over 1300 views between them and I am over the moon about it.

It's good to be back to reality, back to my book, back to my flat, back to friends and family, and back to Virgin Trains offering me a free upgrade for my journey up North on Friday. Winner.

See, sometimes it's good to be back, you never know what you'll return to but isn't that part of the adventure.............?