tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3400540325803581892024-03-06T00:55:55.259-08:00Rants of a Bitter NorthernerHelen Richardshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07751277903189017731noreply@blogger.comBlogger281125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-340054032580358189.post-83298492953365510662020-05-22T04:33:00.002-07:002020-05-22T04:33:44.409-07:00The Ups and Downs of Week 9I don't know about you, but for me it's been a weird one this week. Week 9. There's something about it. Whether it's the fact that we have now surpassed two months in isolation and that was a doable amount, but anything more is just too much, or whether it's the hot weather and not really being able to go anywhere - unless you have a car, which we don't. But there's definitely a lethargy in the air, which could also be something to do with this heat wave we're having, which is keeping me awake at night. but this has definitely been a week full of ups and downs. Here are some of them:<br />
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Friday Night:<br />
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Getting all dressed up for cheese and wine night, which then culminated in the completion of our second lockdown puzzle. Fancy puzzling while tipsy, it could become the new craze.<br />
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Saturday:<br />
We decided to take a different walk on the Greenway from Plaistow to Stratford while it was a nice day, only to be greeted with signs warning of cyclists being attacked at knife point, and to be alert. Now we had to be alert for Covid and crazy psychos. Hmm. But we saw some interesting sights including this collection of shopping trolleys and the beautiful Abbey Mills Pumping Station, and we survived without a knife attack, so, all in all, it was a good day:<br />
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Sunday: A bit of a can't be bothered day, on the couch watching stuff, but then the evening brought us a great high of the week, watching our first Zoom concert beamed from Canada, with one of our favourite singer songwriters: Sarah Slean. <a href="http://sarahslean.com/">http://sarahslean.com/</a> We managed to join my laptop to the projector and so this happened:<br />
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Monday: Admin and paperwork day, as well as teaching. Trying to get my head around what happens after the schools and nurseries reopen... But the roses were in bloom in the garden, so, at least there's that...<br />
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Tuesday: First run since before lockdown, a glorious thing and a glorious day. 21 degree heat and a very unfit me equals 2 days of recovery for my aging knees and legs. However, it wasn't too slow and at the time I was running it felt good, it was just afterwards when my body broke. At least I had a video call with my friend to ease the aches, and we had a good giggle. </div>
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Wednesday: Aftermath of the run, including clicking hips and ankles, sore knees and thighs, and a house with two flights of stairs, plus 6 music classes to teach. Couple this with a major breakdown when I realised most of the nurseries are reopening and I could potentially lose 80% of my business in the next two weeks, and would therefore be largely unemployed, and I wasn't in a good state. But then A dragged me out for a walk before dinner and these clouds were in the sky:</div>
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Unfortunately our relaxing walk turned into a power walk, as we underestimated how much longer it takes to walk around the park rather than through it and I had a toad in the hole in the oven.<br />
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Thursday: Chandelier penis shadows. I mean, they're well ornamented, that can't be comfortable.<br />
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And that brings us to today. Not sure I can give a high or low yet, it's quite early, but having taught my two morning classes, I only have one afternoon class to teach and then I'm done for the week, which is always a nice feeling. Plus the last class I teach on a Friday is 2 sisters and their cousin, and parents, and then the Grandma also joins us from the Isle of Man, so she can see her Grandchildren. It's lovely. </div>
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I hope your week had more highs than lows and the Bank Holiday weekend is a good one. Keep social distancing and stay safe.</div>
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Rants out. </div>
Helen Richardshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07751277903189017731noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-340054032580358189.post-64394690849234641872020-05-15T08:39:00.001-07:002020-05-15T08:55:26.249-07:002 Months in...It's Friday again, if you can believe it. I've just finished my final online music class of the week and I always feel a certain amount of relief, when I can take the headphones off and know that I'm done for the week.<br />
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It's been two months in lockdown and this week, as a slight break from the dullness of Quarantine Stories, I thought it would be fun to talk about those little highlights of your week, or things that you do to add excitement, to an otherwise shut-in existence. These are just a few of the things I've been doing to try and stay sane.<br />
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<li><b>Fancy dress?</b> It's an option. It certainly kept me and some of the children I teach entertained this week. I dressed as a ladybird for some of my Wednesday and Thursday classes, and most of the children dressed up too. What I do find hilarious is how seriously the children get into character. If you even attempt to call them by their own name, and not their character's, you get yourself some serious stink eye, tantrums and attitude. "My name is not ......, it's Gecko." I wouldn't have minded, but this kid wasn't even dressed up. It's a bit easier to keep track when you're wearing the costume, dude. Just saying. </li>
<li><b>Have something to look forward to.</b> It doesn't have to be something huge, I mean, how could it be, we're not allowed to leave the house, unless we have to, or unless we want to, but we shouldn't, but as long as we are being alert, then that invisible germ won't catch us. Hmmm. Anyhow, what I'm saying is, having something small to look forward to, whether it be a video chat with a friend, opening that nice wine you've been saving, or treating yourself to a new release film to rent, it can keep you going when things get tough, and can be really fun. Tonight, for instance, we will be getting all dressed up and having a cheese and wine night, as A decided to get a cheese delivery - as you do - and he's also just finished a huge assignment for his course, and this was his way of getting through the week. I may be limited in which dress I can wear, due to the lockdown diet, but we are going to treat it as an occasion and I may even wear some makeup. </li>
<li><b>Find something to binge or re-watch.</b> Finding a series that you can binge, can be a really therapeutic event - depending on what series you're watching, of course. And I'm sure Series 6 of Schitts Creek will soon be devoured. I'm finding I'm in the mood for re-watching stuff at the moment, and when else would you find the time? (I do realise lots of you have a fuller schedule than myself, but I hope you can find a little slice of time here and there to treat yourself to an episode of something you love or loved.) I have been revisiting some stuff I watched as a kid and teen, and it's lovely, looking back to a simpler time, a time without covid and social media, a time when all I had to worry about was school and practising the flute. I've been watching Round the Twist, Friday Night Lights and The OC. So there's a crazy family who live in a lighthouse, American high school football drama and flip phones and Oasis covers, in the sun of California. Yes!</li>
<li><b>Writing letters.</b> Come on, let's admit it, we all love to receive post when it's not a bill or bank statement - although, really, you should have gone paperless by now. I had a nice letter from a close friend the other day, and it's just so nice, despite the fact that I can What's app, text, email or video call anytime, it's still wonderful to read what they've been doing and to know that this person took the time to write this for you. There's something inherently magical about receiving a letter, like you get this snapshot of a moment in time, forever logged and documented, and only for you. I have written to a few people over the lockdown and will definitely do some more, besides the fact that it means you get a walk to the postbox too. I mean, factor that in as one of your exciting things to look forward to. Whoop!</li>
<li><b>Laugh. </b>I know the novelty - if there ever was one - has definitely worn off, but if you can find something every day to make you laugh, it will help. A funny video online, or a memory that you can share with a friend or loved one, something funny the kids did, or getting drunk and doing something silly. I freakin' love to laugh, despite being doom and gloom about 60% of the time, and I'm so lucky to have a partner who likes to laugh as well. We spend a lot of our time making each other laugh, though thankfully the giggle fits seem to have petered out. And if you find something funny, pass it on to a friend, share it with others: spread the laughter not the virus. </li>
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I'd love to hear about your little sparks of excitement that keep you going through the weeks, days, hours, minutes, seconds. Now, I'd better go and prepare for wine and cheese night.<br />
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Rants out. </div>
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<br />Helen Richardshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07751277903189017731noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-340054032580358189.post-45995772758917999582020-05-08T06:52:00.000-07:002020-05-08T06:52:50.795-07:00Quarantine Stories Part 27 weeks in. How you feeling? Online work getting you down? Sick of staring at a screen all day? Well, prepare to stare at one for a short while longer - otherwise you can't read this - and prepare yourselves for some top quality quarantine tales of boredom, terror and small birds.<br />
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When going for your daily - or quite often in our case, bi-weekly - walk, try to mix it up. I know you can't go too far and you must adhere to the safe distancing rules and all that jazz, but if you take a street you haven't taken before - if that's possible for you - you never know what you might find. We took the street about 4 parallel to ours and it was like a whole other world: massive semi-detached houses, all different shapes and sizes, a derelict 'project' from 1890, with many nesting birds in the roof, and some houses for sale that we could look up on rightmove and judge about the price and interior decor, always comparing them to our house - of course. We also enjoyed judging people for not moving to the side and sharing the pavement in a socially distancing way. We can judge these people, they are 4 whole streets away<br />
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This last week has seen our garden inundated with sparrows. They are eating us out of seed and the little buggers are in the bushes and plants and all over the place. We haven't seen them before, as we usually just get a lot of tits knocking about ;-), but when we told the neighbours yesterday, during Thursday's clap for the NHS, they said they hadn't seen them for years and that they were rare.<br />
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Quick, call Bill Odie. The Sparrows are back.<br />
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And now for a tale of terror, small doors and taps. The other morning when I went up to the attic to set up for music classes, the small door to the eaves storage was open. It has never opened by itself before and it freaked me out. My head immediately leapt to someone living in the attic, or a creature large enough to push the door open. But then that night I slept really badly and after getting up at 2.10 am, I couldn't get back to sleep. About 15 minutes later I heard something like water dripping, and I tried to ignore it, thinking it was just my imagination, but when it continued, I panicked in case it was something leaking. I got up, called A but he didn't wake up, and realised the bathroom tap was on full blast. How had I not noticed it when I left the bathroom 15 minutes earlier? And to make matters worse, the little attic door was open again the next morning.<br />
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AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!<br />
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That's a horror short in the making, surely.<br />
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And finally, I made Lemon Meringue Pies yesterday, little individual ones, and it's one of those recipes that you need a good three hours for, so normally I think, nah, can't be arsed, but as I had finished teaching at 4.00 pm,I thought fook it, I have four lemons in the fridge and time on my hands. It's not easy and I had a small cornflour issue, when I was meant to make a paste but instead made gloop and then when I added it to the lemon mixture they just sat, these floating gloop globules and looked gross. Luckily, A thought of blitzing it with the soup blender and the outcome was pleasant.<br />
I'm sure Mary Berry has this issue all the time.<br />
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I also made a moussaka for the first time, which is another ball ache of a recipe, with so many different elements, that you can become a tad heated and stressed, especially by the time you get to the white sauce. But hey ho, I'm making new recipes and using up some veg in the process.<br />
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I don't even know what half the stuff we got in our oddbox was this week. All sorts of weird, leafy, green things that I have no idea what to do with. Whatever happened to carrots and broccoli?<br />
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Oh, and one final story, which could be story of the week, hold on to your hats:<br />
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We forgot to put the milk bottles out for the milkman twice this week, so we have about 15 washed out milk bottles at the front door. We have to remember on Sunday, otherwise he might boycott us.<br />
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That's all for today.<br />
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Stay sane.<br />
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Rants out.<br />
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<br />Helen Richardshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07751277903189017731noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-340054032580358189.post-41176705480705339872020-05-01T04:30:00.002-07:002020-05-01T04:30:44.518-07:00Quarantine Stories Part 1Week 6. Last night saw A and I in a half hour giggle fit, for no particular reason, just before midnight. I think we may have finally cracked. I don't even know what was funny, but it really was.<br />
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And that is a prime example of a quarantine story. I mean, do they get any more interesting than that? If you don't have kids, I mean. Obviously, those of you with little or big tikes, must have all sorts of strange and hilarious anecdotes to tell, but for us, it's things like:<br />
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I've been looking for that all day, and I thought it was there, but when I looked before I couldn't find it, and now look, there it is, exactly where I thought it was all along.<br />
<br />
Bam. Shortlisted for a literary prize. Surely.<br />
<br />
Here's another example:<br />
<br />
'Oh, it's gone dark, but the weather app said it wasn't going to rain.'<br />
'Well I'm telling you, that cloud is definitely going to rain.'<br />
'Not according to the app.'<br />
<br />
Then lo and behold, we have a rain storm which becomes a hail storm. I beat the weather app.<br />
<br />
Bam. Retraining as a Meteorologist.<br />
<br />
And here's a debate we had the other day about what constitutes a Fruit Salad:<br />
<br />
A: 'I'll get us some blueberries and yoghurt, with the last of the cake.'<br />
Me: 'Okay. But don't we have to use up those kiwi fruits?'<br />
A: 'Oh yeah, well I'll make you a fruit salad.'<br />
Me: 'A fruit salad with 2 fruits?'<br />
A: 'Yeah, you can make a fruit salad with 1 fruit.'<br />
Me, again, more outraged and confused this time: 'You can't make a fruit salad with 1 fruit, that's just a fruit cut up.'<br />
A: 'Exactly, any fruit that's cut up is a fruit salad.'<br />
<br />
Say what? Sounds like bullshit to me. A fruit salad is loads of fruits, at least 5, cut up in your mum's lovely big glass bowl, that is only used for fruit salad, with orange juice to keep the fruit from going brown. Am I right, or am I right?<br />
<br />
And finally, on this first edition of Quarantine Stories, I pose the question: Who really gives a crap about lunch?<br />
<br />
As a self employed, and to be honest, barely employed person, for the last 6 months or so, I ate a lot of lunches at home during the week. I made a sandwich or ate soup, or occasionally had the joy of leftovers from the night before. But A is all Mr Gourmet, and everything has to be heated up, and slapped with olive oil and blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, what's wrong with wazzing a piece of chicken, or cheese, or ham, on a piece of bread and calling it a sandwich? Lunch should be made in 5 minutes, not 20.<br />
<br />
Thoughts?<br />
<br />
As I write this, we are in the middle of a massive hailstorm that has been raging for about 10 minutes and doesn't seem likely to stop for a while, and guess what A said this morning? Yes, you got it, he said it wasn't going to rain.<br />
<br />
That was just an extra treat for you, to add to these already legendary quarantine stories I've jotted down for you. I would love to hear some of yours. The more mundane the better.<br />
<br />
Now, I will leave you with a phrase we utter every day, as we draw the bolt lock on the door, at various points in the day, but most days in could be uttered at 8am and would be true:<br />
<br />
'In fort night?' (Which translated from Wiganese is: are we in for the night?)<br />
<br />
Keep sane.<br />
Rants out.<br />
<br />Helen Richardshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07751277903189017731noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-340054032580358189.post-91333248021561272002020-04-25T04:50:00.002-07:002020-04-25T06:16:42.409-07:005 weeks in...So. UK. We are 5 weeks into our containment, quarantine, lockdown, or whatever you wish to call it. And we may be looking at 5 more months, let alone 5 more weeks, which makes me want to throw things and scream, but at the same time, if I can save lives and keep myself and my partner safe, then so be it. Though I have to say, I'm pretty sure if this goes on much longer, my parents are going to jump in the car and come and live with us. There's no way my mum will wait that long to see me.<br />
<br />
5 weeks at home and I can't believe this is my first blog. In fact, this is my first blog of the year. I know, I should make more time to blog and I should air my rants, not internalise them, but I've had a pretty shit last 8 months or so, with losing work and changing settings and desperately trying to find new places to teach, and then the virus happens and all my places of work are now closed. So I now live on Zoom, several hours a day, teaching through a screen, which thanks to the parents and children that are partaking, has been going well. There are lots of challenges and lots of limitations, but if I can provide just an ounce of certainty, fun and routine, in this chaotic world, then great. Plus, I'm actually getting to meet parents that have been an email address for the last few years. It's great to put faces with those names.<br />
<br />
I now realise what a great idea it was to move house last year, because having to do this in Flat 19 - whilst being the greatest flat in the world - would have been really challenging. With only the tiny balcony and two rooms, both working from home would have been tricky. At least with the house we have space to wander a bit, and a garden, and spaces for us both to work, without massively annoying the other. Although, I am currently teaching in the attic, above the office space where A is lawyering 12 hours a day, so poor A has to hear all the songs I'm singing and the instruments I'm playing. He's definitely learned a few new songs over the last 5 weeks. He is slightly concerned I'm going to come through the ceiling at some point, as there is a crack on the ceiling, that is apparently growing. I don't know what he's talking about, my bunny jumps are as light as a feather. :-)<br />
<br />
So for the end of our fifth week in Quaratine, I have a put together some lists of fives. Here they go:<br />
<br />
5 Pros of the Quarantine<br />
<br />
<ol>
<li>I have learned to use Zoom and have my bluetooth headphones and HD webcam working hard every day. I am making and uploading music class videos to youtube studio and becoming a technology goddess. (For me, this is an achievement.)</li>
<li>Not having to commute therefore not having to pay travel costs. One of my commutes was 90 minutes, so the fact that I can get up and walk up the stairs to the attic in about 30 seconds, is pretty great. </li>
<li>Being able to see my friends via various video chat services and also being able to teach some of my friends' children. </li>
<li>Trying out new recipes: I have already made a bean and vegetable hotpot, banana muffins, a hummingbird cake and a carrot cake. </li>
<li>Living so close to West Ham Park, which means a few times a week we take a walk around the park and get in our exercise and stop ourselves going doolally. </li>
</ol>
5 Cons of the Quarantine<br />
<br />
<ol>
<li>Can't see my mum or dad, or friends or family. </li>
<li>We can't travel anywhere. You barely feel like you're in London. Is it weird I actually miss public transport?</li>
<li>Some people are dicks, so this could go on for a really long time because some people don't take it seriously. </li>
<li>Not being able to sleep due to constant worrying about money, how long I'll be able to work, what happens if nurseries do go back but they don't accept outside teachers...etc...etc</li>
<li>The fear that this is actually Armageddon. </li>
</ol>
<div>
5 Books I've Read During Quarantine</div>
<div>
<ol>
<li><span style="background-color: white; color: #111111;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Off the Map: Lost Spaces, Invisible Cities, Forgotten Islands, Feral Places and What They Tell Us About the World by Alistair Bonnett </span></span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; color: #111111;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Caraval by Stephanie Garber (Book 1 of 3) A re-read, as I was determined to finally complete the trilogy. </span></span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; color: #111111;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Legendary by Stephanie Garber (Book 2 of 3) </span></span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; color: #111111;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Finale by Stephanie Garber (Book 3 of 3)</span></span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; color: #111111;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">The Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon. This book is an epic, high fantasy book and it is also a hefty 800 pages, so great for lockdown, and not so great for carrying around in your handbag, manbag, or rucksack. </span></span></li>
</ol>
<div>
<span style="color: #111111;">I definitely recommend starting that large book that you don't want to carry around with you, or trying to finish that trilogy that you started years ago, or maybe just re-reading a classic. </span></div>
</div>
<div>
<span style="color: #111111;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #111111;">5 Films I've Watched During Lockdown</span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #111111;">Obviously, we've watched a lot more than five and some of them have been shockingly shite. We have made some bad decisions with regards to films recently, but with Netflix, Prime and Disney Plus, we have managed a few good 'uns. </span></div>
<div>
<ol>
<li><span style="color: #111111;">Time Trap - Netflix. We watched this last night and were pleasantly surprised. It's a little bit adventure, a little bit thriller, a little bit horror and a little bit sci-fi. We loved it. Creepy atmosphere and a good mind fuck. </span></li>
<li><span style="color: #111111;">Apostolo - Netflix. This is a horror flick and is weird and a bit of a slow burner, but it has a great cast and really makes you feel part of what is happening. Definitely worth a watch for those horror lovers out there. </span></li>
<li><span style="color: #111111;">Haunt - Amazon Prime. Another horror. Oops. This is your typical, go to a Halloween house with some friends and all shit breaks lose, but it was actually really well done for such a low budget, small time film. </span></li>
<li><span style="color: #111111;">Charlie's Angels - Amazon Prime. Yes we rented it, because I had wanted to see it at the cinema, especially when it was panned so much by critics. It felt like a female solidarity moment and it is really watchable. The fight scenes totally kick ass, and it's a shame that there will unlikely be a sequel, as it was set up quite nicely. Also, I bloody love Elizabeth Banks. </span></li>
<li><span style="color: #111111;">Thor Ragnarok - Disney Plus. Definitely one of the funniest Marvel films and great for a quarantine re-watch. </span></li>
</ol>
<div>
<span style="color: #111111;">5 TV Series I've Watched During the Quarantine</span></div>
</div>
<div>
<ol>
<li><span style="color: #111111;">Tiger King - Netflix. Didn't think I'd like it, but was absolutely hooked after 5 minutes. </span></li>
<li><span style="color: #111111;">Unorthodox - Netflix. A short 4 part mini series. This is amazing! </span></li>
<li><span style="color: #111111;">Brooklyn Nine Nine - Series 6 (rewatch) Netflix, followed by the discovery that Series 7 started on All 4. Love the Nine Nine.</span></li>
<li><span style="color: #111111;">Homeland Final Season - All 4. There have been some tense moments, but we have to see how it ends. </span></li>
<li><span style="color: #111111;">Non Uccidere (Thou Shall Not Kill) Series 2 on All 4. I love this Italian Detective series and the second series has started well. I recommend taking two episodes at a time. </span></li>
</ol>
<div>
<span style="color: #111111;">5 Leisure Activities to while away the boredom</span></div>
</div>
<div>
<ol>
<li><span style="color: #111111;">Walking to a local bar in Forest Gate once a week to pick up an order of cocktails and beer to go. Not only are the cocktails wonderful, but we get our exercise and support a local business. </span></li>
<li><span style="color: #111111;">Jigsaw puzzles. I know, it's sad, but it's also quite fun. And I don't care if that makes me middle aged. We completed one about all the coffees of the world and now we have two more to start: a vintage travel guide one and a birds of Britain one. </span></li>
<li><span style="color: #111111;">Getting my craft on, and utilising all the packaging that comes with all the orders we make, so I can make props and instruments for my classes. </span></li>
<li><span style="color: #111111;">Baking (me). Gardening (A).</span></li>
<li><span style="color: #111111;">(Edited) I changed this from hanging up pictures to dance parties in the kitchen, because I remembered I hate making decisions on where to put pictures on the wall. That's A's thing, and it bugs me. I like dance parties and prefer them in the kitchen. Stick on some tunes and let yourself go. </span></li>
</ol>
<div>
<span style="color: #111111;">Well, I've waffled on long enough. Let me know how you're coping and keep your chin up. There will be days when you don't want to even contemplate moving and it all gets too much, but hopefully calling a friend, or your family, or binge watching a show on Netflix will get you through it, and then you will find something to cling onto that gets you through to the next day and the next. It's all about survival and getting through one day at a time, so don't worry about charts and routines and timetables, just get through in the best way you can. No one can ask anymore of you than that, and maybe we can get out of this sooner rather than later. </span></div>
</div>
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<span style="color: #111111;">A shout out to all the NHS, shop workers, drivers and delivery people, people working on public transport, post workers and anyone else who is out in the field - as it were - helping others and keeping the world going. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #111111;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #111111;">Rants out. </span></div>
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<br />Helen Richardshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07751277903189017731noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-340054032580358189.post-82168521916100425572019-12-31T10:12:00.002-08:002019-12-31T10:12:43.880-08:00My Year in Reading 2019It's that time of year again; time to reminisce over what has been, over the trials and tribulations, over the successes and achievements, and most importantly, to review my year in books. I realise I disappeared this year after house buying stuff took over, and it's been a tough few months to end the year, with too many changes happening all at the same time, and really ganging up on me, but through it all there's been some bloody good books and whilst my total number is lower this year, there has been some quality, literary experiences that have helped see me through to the end of the decade with a smile, a grimace, an adventure and an escape route. So without further ado, here goes my list:<br />
<br />
<b><u>Books I Read in January</u></b><br />
<br />
<ol>
<li>Convenience Store Woman - Suyaka Murata (Kindle)</li>
<li>Nightbird - Alice Hoffman (Kindle)</li>
<li>Girl Missing - Sophia Mckensie (Kindle)</li>
<li>Heroes and Villains - Angela Carter</li>
<li><span style="color: red;">Venivamo tutte per mare (Italian translation) - Julie Otsuka</span></li>
<li>Circe - Madeline Miller</li>
</ol>
<div>
I started off the year in a flurry of kindle books, and I just realised that all 6 books I read were written by women. Woo hoo! Now I feel a lot of people would have expected Circe to be my favourite book, and whilst I did like it a lot, I preferred her previous book, Song of Achilles. Just my humble opinion. But taking the coveted best book of the month was my first Italian novel of the year, which was translated from Japanese, and was a beautiful yet devastating account of Japanese women that were essentially sold into marriage and shipped off to America, to be married to Japanese men over there, after the war. It was brutal and savage and written in such a poetic and dreamy way, that I couldn't stop reading. Also, my partner's 89 year old (now 90 year old) Great Auntie lent it to me from her vast collection of books. She likes that I can read in Italian now. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<b><u>Books I Read in February</u></b></div>
<div>
<ol>
<li><span style="color: red;">Those who Leave and Those who Stay Behind (Neopolitan Novels #3) - Elena Ferrante</span></li>
<li>The Unremembered Girl: A Novel - Eliza Maxwell (Kindle)</li>
<li>After the Fire - Will Hill (Kindle)</li>
<li>Inferior: How Science got Women Wrong - Angela Saini</li>
</ol>
<div>
A mixture of books here; the continuation of a saga, a mystery novel, a YA based upon real events and a non fiction book researching the science behind the genders and whether women really are hard wired to cook and nurture the young, spoiler alert, no we're not. It was tough to pick a top choice, but in the end it went to Elena, whoever she may be, because to keep up the level and quality of the writing across so many books and to make you care so much about the characters is simply mind blowing. </div>
</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<u><b>Books I Read in March</b></u></div>
<div>
<ol>
<li>The Yellow Room - Jess Vallance</li>
<li>Unbecoming - Jenny Downham</li>
<li><span style="color: red;">The Secret Life of Bletchley Park - Sinclair McKay</span></li>
</ol>
<div>
As you can probably tell, house hunting was taking over my life and diminishing my time for books, but I still managed a couple of quality YA offerings that I had found in my local bookshop: the Owl Bookshop, Kentish Town, and a non fiction book all about Bletchley Park, which we actually managed to visit later in the year. This book wins best book because of the true tales and the research that went into it, and also because they didn't sweep under foot the true nature and impact of the work done by women there, they celebrated it! </div>
</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<u><b>Books I Read in April</b></u></div>
<div>
<ol>
<li><span style="color: red;">NOS4R2 - Joe Hill (Kindle)</span></li>
<li>Becoming - Michelle Obama</li>
<li>Desperation - Stephen King</li>
</ol>
<div>
I just realised poor Michelle ended up in a horror sandwich, this month, the month that we went to see her at the O2. Wow! What a woman. But also, what a horror sandwich. Joe Hill's epic novel really hit all the right buttons for me. There were scares, but there was also a lot of heart and emotion. You became so attached to the characters and whilst it felt in a similar style to some of his dad's earlier horror work, it was still a stand alone novel, spanning years, and it was so intense and wildly epic. I loved it! Mr King himself didn't do a bad job of Desperation, but I'm afraid there were a few too many spider descriptions for my liking. </div>
</div>
<div>
<b><u><br /></u></b></div>
<div>
<b><u>Books I Read in May</u></b></div>
<div>
<ol>
<li>Spontaneous - Aaron Starmer</li>
<li>Have you Eaten Grandma? - Giles Brandreth</li>
<li>The Great Passage - Shion Miura (Kindle)</li>
<li><span style="color: red;">Roar - Celia Ahern</span></li>
<li>Emma (Italian Translation) - Jan Austen (Kindle) Started but carried over to June...</li>
</ol>
<div>
A YA novel about spontaneous combustion, a grammar book, another book translated from Japanese - this one about creating the perfect dictionary - and a book of short stories all about women and their internal and external struggles, and how they overcome them. It was a strange month for reading, but interesting all the same. I also started reading an English classic, translated into Italian, which was a slight mistake as it was too dialogue driven and half the time I couldn't figure out who was talking and it was all very confusing and slightly irritating, but Roar gets the top dog award for its thirty stories all about women. You might not identify with all thirty, but I found a lot of them that were so relevant to me, and it is a great book. Thanks Celia. </div>
<div>
<b><u><br /></u></b></div>
<div>
<b><u>Books I Read in June</u></b></div>
<div>
<ol>
<li>Emma (Italian Translation) - Jane Austen (Kindle) Finally finished. It took a while!</li>
<li><span style="color: red;">Slay on Tour - Kim Curran</span></li>
</ol>
<div>
No contest here for top book of the month - sorry Jane but it doesn't translate well, and I'm also no where near fluent, so there was a lot of looking up words and general confusion - Kim Curran's second installment of Slay is just as good as the first and left me wanting more. So come on Kim, when are we having Slay 3?</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<u><b>Books I Read in July</b></u></div>
<div>
<ol>
<li>Qualcuno sta uccidendo i piu grandi cuochi di Torino - Luca Iaccarina</li>
<li>Indigo Donut - Patrice Lawrence</li>
<li><span style="color: red;">Musicophilia: Tales of Music and the Brain - Oliver Sacks</span></li>
<li>You - Caroline Kepnes (Kindle)</li>
</ol>
<div>
My friend lent me another book in Italian, which translates as, Someone is killing all the cooks in Turin. It was fairly easy to read and like a lot of Italian books had various murders in it, and was a little bit bonkers at the end, but still, good practise, and way easier than Jane Austen. After watching the Netflix series, You, I really wanted to read the book, but also needed to leave a few months between the viewing and the reading. I had wanted to read Indigo Donut for a while after hearing Patrice talk about it at YALC a couple of years ago, and I was not disappointed. A great YA book, and I'm not going to give anything away, just read it, you won't regret it. But my top book of the month goes to Oliver Sacks and his wonderfully witty and intelligent book about music and the human condition. How music can move us, haunt us and heal us. Highly recommended. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<u><b>Book I Read in August</b></u></div>
<div>
<ol>
<li>The Last: Hanna Jameson</li>
<li><span style="color: red;">Le Assaggiatrici - Rosella Postorino</span></li>
</ol>
<div>
Again, slim pickings this month, but we did move house in July and went on holiday in August, which is where I bought the second book. I enjoyed both books: Hanna Jameson's murder mystery with an apocalyptic spin was well paced and captivating, though I found the ending lacking, and Rosella Postorino's chilling tale of the women who tasted Hitler's food at the end of the war when he was holed up in a bunker, was all kinds of uncomfortable, but in a good way. It wasn't an easy read but it was something I never really knew about and whilst, fiction, it was obviously based on true events and research. I learned a lot of new words, especially body parts in some of the steamy sections. Ha ha. </div>
<div>
<u><b><br /></b></u></div>
<div>
<u><b>Books I Read in September </b></u></div>
</div>
<div>
<ol>
<li>Paper Aeroplanes - Dawn O' Porter</li>
<li>Poor Unfortunate Souls - Serena Valentino</li>
<li>The Science of Storytelling - Will Storr</li>
<li>Leopard - Giuseppe di Lampedusa</li>
<li><span style="color: red;">My Sister the Serial Killer - Oyinkan Braithwaite (Kindle)</span></li>
<li>SAGA Vol 8 (Re-read) - Fiona Staples and Brian K Vaughan</li>
<li>SAGA Vol 9 - Fiona Staples and Brian K Vaughan</li>
</ol>
<div>
Wow, I actually shifted some material this month. Look at that, 7 titles. I find this month the hardest to choose my favourite for, but after some deliberation, it goes to Oyinkan Braithwaite's tale of the bonds of sister hood. Blood is most definitely thicker than the truth in this fantastic novel. Check it out. </div>
</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<u><b>Books I Read in October</b></u></div>
<div>
<ol>
<li><span style="color: red;">The Story of the Lost Child (Neopolitan Novels #4) - Elena Ferrante</span></li>
<li>Stories to Tell in the Dark - Alvin Schwartz (Kindle)</li>
<li>Still Waters (Sandham Murders #1) - Viveca Sten (Kindle)</li>
</ol>
<div>
To be honest, I didn't love the Viveca Sten's crime novel. I found it quite boring and kept plodding on simply to know who did it. After seeing the film, Stories to Tell in the Dark, I wanted to read the book, but it's actually a collection of very short stories to tell each other in the dark and is aimed at younger children, but there were some interesting ideas and it was quite witty. I did love the film though and would love a second one. So Ms Ferrante wins again. It was so fulfilling to reach the end of such an epic set of books. If you haven't started them yet, give it a go, it is not all hype, it is phenomenal writing. </div>
</div>
<div>
<b><u><br /></u></b></div>
<div>
<b><u>Books I Read in November</u></b></div>
<div>
<ol>
<li><span style="color: red;">The Cuckoo's Calling (The Strike Novels #1) - Robert Galbraith</span></li>
<li>Music and Singing in the Early Years - Zoe Greenhalgh</li>
<li><span style="color: red;">The Silkworm (The Strike Novels #2) - Robert Galbraith</span></li>
<li>Music with the Under Fours - Susan Young</li>
</ol>
<div>
As you might tell here, my very good friend lent me the Strike novels and I also started a new course, so had to intersperse my pleasure reading, with research for my course. Not surprisingly the text books don't make the top book cut, but oh my god, I am now completely obsessed with Robert Galbraith AKA J.K's new creation. I love the Strike novels, and as someone who has never been a massive fan of crime as a genre, I could not stop with these. Love, love, love, and I can't thank my friend enough. I love a good lending library. </div>
</div>
<div>
<u><b><br /></b></u></div>
<div>
<u><b>Books I Read in December</b></u></div>
<div>
<ol>
<li><span style="color: red;">Career of Evil (Strike Novels #3) - Robert Galbraith</span></li>
<li><span style="color: red;">Lethal White (Strike Novels #4) - Robert Galbraith</span></li>
<li>The Princess Bride - William Goldman (Kindle)</li>
<li>The Hunting Party - Lucy Foley (Kindle - currently at 87%)</li>
</ol>
<div>
I tried to put another text book between the remaining Strike novels, but I got bored and abandoned it. The lure was too big. I needed to know whether Robin actually went through with it, no spoilers, and now I need book 5, so get on with it, please. Pretty please. I am nice, really. I am hoping to finish the Hunting Party before the end of the day, which is seeming less and less likely, but I am loving it. Also, it was fun to finally read the Princess Bride. And because it's the end of the year and I'm too lazy to choose between the two Strike novels, they both achieve best book, because they are brilliant! I feel in safe hands, as I always did when reading Harry Potter. More please! </div>
</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
And so that's it, a shorter list than usual but around 48 books, 4 of which were read in Italian, so not too shabby considering more than half of the year was taken up with house stuff. The plan for 2020 is as always, more books, in a whole host of genres, and definitely to get a shift on with my own books. No more excuses, no more procrastination - okay, a little less procrastination is more realistic - and write, write, write and read, read, read. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I hope you've had a good reading year. If you have any books that have rocked your year, then let me know, especially if they are not on my list. I am always looking for recommendations. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
And so it's the end of another year, and not only that but another decade. Eek. I hope you all have a great night whatever you do and all the best for the New Year. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
Rants out. </div>
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</div>
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<span style="color: red;"><br /></span></div>
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Helen Richardshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07751277903189017731noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-340054032580358189.post-47464763750170586332019-06-21T07:56:00.003-07:002019-06-21T07:56:43.137-07:00House Hunting 4: This Shit Just Got Real<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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We exchanged last week and we have a moving date. The movers are booked. This shit just got real. I've been quiet since my last rant, because we made an offer and it was accepted and then things started to happen and it was the furthest we'd ever been along the process, and then everything after that was just me waiting for the catch, waiting for the moment when we were gazumped or screwed over, and when that didn't happen, I somehow became even more worried. It's ridiculous and it's taken over our lives but it's finally happening.<br />
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So now, we have to start packing things away and begin the lengthy process of saying goodbye to Flat 19: our home, our sanctuary for the last decade. And while it will be hard and there will be tears, I have to say there are certain things I am not going to miss about sharing a building with others and also having your building surrounded in scaffolding for the last 18 months.<br />
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<ul>
<li>Builders. I will not miss the builders. Their dirty footprints in every communal area. Their high vis jackets whizzing past the fifth floor window from 8am. The drilling. The mess. The fact that they can't clear up after themselves. The fact that the balcony is covered in half an inch of dust and debris from all the drilling. The fact that they start something and then leave it half done for four days. Mmm pink walls. </li>
</ul>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9WT0EjglbKeqOqPjO_Ozo1ZTxqlzXBE7AIZzMsHlNjL9HYkjnk1EEVUbDuMc_Ifc96UXnfSrcXLMkSimDqFpQ-SMROa0vENan-5NjVHmQpo-KaeHprClTXLKFf_5NjCzP1IHdO51Jl0Q/s1600/IMG_8082.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9WT0EjglbKeqOqPjO_Ozo1ZTxqlzXBE7AIZzMsHlNjL9HYkjnk1EEVUbDuMc_Ifc96UXnfSrcXLMkSimDqFpQ-SMROa0vENan-5NjVHmQpo-KaeHprClTXLKFf_5NjCzP1IHdO51Jl0Q/s200/IMG_8082.JPG" width="150" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgMTfQ1pb4Ou7-ooWZf5-prd_l8KoQm1xLE68pmBIxcBJO4QoYtMc8notFzFxLfnnQUp_8XSWLkHx0PHByvP6iKLwbQLz5A1-xJxEANkbfbRfMh417Rly53HTvVhRZ5mxw1FtoCRANDJQ/s1600/IMG_8055.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgMTfQ1pb4Ou7-ooWZf5-prd_l8KoQm1xLE68pmBIxcBJO4QoYtMc8notFzFxLfnnQUp_8XSWLkHx0PHByvP6iKLwbQLz5A1-xJxEANkbfbRfMh417Rly53HTvVhRZ5mxw1FtoCRANDJQ/s200/IMG_8055.JPG" width="150" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcoNrHEboNDDCPpHH2CGHHQVkrlteEIXGltyqaMrEDJzHDdr2uaYKrpyGJgumjTqeQ2fq_p8m5qX9Ztb4l_Bf8dpyWHMRrMAUdNBk3x3EyvjiFgy49bYPW3ObvpGZano8kbhNc_r6LgQ0/s1600/IMG_8056.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcoNrHEboNDDCPpHH2CGHHQVkrlteEIXGltyqaMrEDJzHDdr2uaYKrpyGJgumjTqeQ2fq_p8m5qX9Ztb4l_Bf8dpyWHMRrMAUdNBk3x3EyvjiFgy49bYPW3ObvpGZano8kbhNc_r6LgQ0/s200/IMG_8056.JPG" width="150" /></a><br /><ul>
<li>Scaffolding. I will not miss the bars and grids and mesh and general lack of natural light diminished by the scaffolding. And the endless lies: oh we'll take down the scaffolding in April, in May, oh look it's still up and it's the 21st June. Lies! They have just less than three weeks to make me happy and give me my view back. If only for a day. That would really give us the best farewell. Fingers crossed. </li>
</ul>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCQBg__N3Xj0cS5HRYbxBEjQ60IuJGA56D699hAeAZmlQAOvHpPAWU7hAv9UYK4cnDu8t8_tymhCbje6zxfzI1PEgwAbck72sO95aky-cFTaWQNESR6vqT9F_ncnpOB2R5FWyNNIEPCbY/s1600/IMG_7790.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCQBg__N3Xj0cS5HRYbxBEjQ60IuJGA56D699hAeAZmlQAOvHpPAWU7hAv9UYK4cnDu8t8_tymhCbje6zxfzI1PEgwAbck72sO95aky-cFTaWQNESR6vqT9F_ncnpOB2R5FWyNNIEPCbY/s320/IMG_7790.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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I have to say, as much as the scaffolding annoyed me, this was one of my favourite moments.</div>
<ul>
<li>The bin store. I will not miss the bin store. Having to pick up other people's rubbish bags because they can't be bothered to actually open the bins and put it in themselves, is one thing I am happy to leave behind. The people who can't squash down a cardboard box to recycle rather than just chuck away, is another thing I will definitely not miss. And then there's the people who forget their keys and just leave the rubbish bags outside the door, so someone else can deal with it - usually me. Because I don't want to live in some gross, rubbish strewn, rat infested hole. I did actually see a couple of rats the other week, so I have been reducing my trips to the bin store and collecting up a few bags worth of rubbish and recycling before I venture in. Just have some respect for the other people that share your building! It's not a difficult concept. </li>
</ul>
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So, I am actually looking forward to it being just us and if things are dirty and gross it's our fault. There's no speculation on who left the rubbish there and who broke the front door or the lift and why we've had about seven different doors since we lived there and subsequently seven different keys. I have a box full of now defunct keys, which I think I am going to do something with, as a shrine to Flat 19. Watch this space. I will also be happy with my own wheelie bin, recycling bin, and what I'm most excited about: food waste caddy, because we don't have a food waste bin in our building but we will at the house. Yay! I will be in control of the rubbish and recycling and they will be the best kept bins in Newham. :-)<br />
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What I will miss is Camden. It is such an amazing borough and the only borough of London that I have ever lived in. But change is good right? :-) And I'm sure Newham will help us to discover more of the City we love and call home.<br />
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To anyone else out there trying to buy or sell, good luck and breathe and persevere. You'll get there. And by the way, removal companies are more expensive than you think, even when you're only moving from a one bed flat, so factor that in your budget, because, wow, things are expensive. And beds and mattresses! Don't get me started on those. That's a whole other rant. Enjoy the sunshine.<br />
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Rants out.Helen Richardshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07751277903189017731noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-340054032580358189.post-12252167522738056392019-05-18T15:35:00.000-07:002019-05-18T15:35:08.931-07:00Eurovision 2019Yes! It's that time of year again. It's mid May and you've just sat through 25 songs from European countries and one from Australia. And now it's time for the blog. Oh yes. And today I was joined by not only my partner in life and crime, but also my parents, visiting from up North. It's a Eurovision party.<br />
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Let's get straight to it. I really liked the opening. I liked the aeroplane and all the action movie sequences, with jeeps in the desert and drones flying and all the bumpf. Although, when they started to depart the plane and there were so many solo people, I was worried it would be a little too serious and there would be too many ballads. I was mostly right on that front, and yet, it wasn't a bad evening, all in all.<br />
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1. Malta: A pretty good voice to open with. Fun and young, but she is not a dancer. She was scared to move. Not much scathing to write about this one, but it will be easily forgotten. The curse of going first.<br />
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2.Albania: Far too serious. There are no words - no, literally, there were no words. Just lots of weird vocalising and yodelling. I'm convinced she was actually performing some sort of witchcraft, with all those hand movements and the fire. She was seriously pitchy at points too.<br />
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3. Czech Republic: So. Many. Teeth. So very, very, 'youthful'. They are the young Wiggles. The drummer is all over the place and I'm convinced none of them are actually playing those instruments. Plus what's with the weird London accents. It sounded like the Kooks. I appreciate the knee slide, but you really need to sing better.<br />
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<img alt="Image result for the wiggles" src="https://static2.stuff.co.nz/1346966518/880/6942880.jpg" /><br />
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4.Germany: Moody. Pitchy. But what a 90's throw back. I half expected the rest of All Saints to walk out. I was also having Buffy flashbacks with that black top. Nice sentiment but it was bad.<br />
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5. Russia: It's his Broadway audition. So intense and boring. I like looking at myself in mirrors. 'I see rain from your fingerprints.' Just an interesting lyric I managed to note down. My dad liked this one.<br />
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6. Denmark: Cute. Not a confident mover. It went all stereotypical French at one point, with all the black and white, stripes and an almost mime feel. Cheesy. Sickly. Vomity.<br />
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7. San Marino: Dentist. This is hands down the worst song in the competition. He is a creepy old man who should never sing ever, because he can't sing. He kept using the Batman voice and quite frankly he should stick to his day job, though I wouldn't let him anywhere near my mouth. I'm shocked this song took him 5 mins to write. I wish I could unsee this.<br />
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<img alt="Image result for ya basic" src="https://media3.giphy.com/media/l1KdbHUPe27GQsJH2/giphy.gif" /><br />
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8. North Macedonia: Too low for you (intro). She was totally channelling her inner Maria/Celine. Good dress. Good voice, but a bit too intense.<br />
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9. Sweden: Great voice. Good song. What I like the most is that he put on his best tracky pants and tucked in his t-shirt. He really made an effort to be smart. Now the backing vocalists were amazing and it was all about the wide leg pants and the earrings. Yes! Shame he messed up one of the final notes.<br />
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10. Slovenia: BORING! Awkward and creepy and weird. Too much eye contact. Very antisocial.<br />
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<img alt="Image result for boring" height="239" src="https://www.ridethepen.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/4-Tricks-to-Make-Boring-Filler-Scenes-Exciting-742x556.jpg" width="320" /><br />
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11. Cyprus: She went for the thigh high, latex leggings and chain mail knickers option, to make up for her overly sharp voice. I did appreciate the gangsta cowboy backing dancers. That was very Eurovision.<br />
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12. Netherlands: Bookies favourite. Er, really? I think he has a stalker level Chris Martin obsession, because that song was essentially a B side that never made it on to the last Coldplay album. Intense look at the camera. Bit pitchy. Did not like.<br />
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13, Greece: Female musketeers. Finally! A bit Florence-y. What an interesting voice. I'm just walking around with a massive inflatable ball. But then I lost the big ball. Where did it go? The backing vocals were amazing and completely off the chain. Yes! We like this!<br />
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14. Israel: Too much. It's supposed to be fun, why are you dragging me down? He looked a lot like Sacha Baron-Cohen auditioning for a Broadway show. It was pretty terrible though.<br />
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<img alt="Image result for sacha baron cohen" src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/4/46/Sacha_Baron_Cohen%2C_2011.jpg/220px-Sacha_Baron_Cohen%2C_2011.jpg" /><br />
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15. Norway: I love this! Sci-fi pop. It's Aqua all over again. I didn't write much for this but I bloody loved it.<br />
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16. UK: He's a pitchy bugger at the beginning. Why didn't he transpose it up a semi-tone? Anyhoo, the rest of it was great. The song is good, the staging is simple and the backing vocals were great. Well done! Just work on the intro. Fingers crossed someone takes pity on us, for a few points. <br />
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17. Iceland: Oh yes! This is what we've all been waiting for. This is Eurovision. This is 6 guys in latex and a guy in a gimp mask with a hammer. This is terrifying and amazing. Who needs a ballad when you can literally live your Berlin S and M club dreams, with some sort of Rammstein/Slipknot/Marilyn Manson hybrid. Wonderful nonsense. LOVE IT!<br />
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<img alt="Image result for iceland eurovision 2019" height="225" src="https://static.independent.co.uk/s3fs-public/thumbnails/image/2019/03/12/00/20190302-220517-2-mummilu.jpg?w968h681" width="320" /><br />
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18: Estonia: This seems so vanilla after Iceland. Ya Basic! It's like skipping through a meadow of cheese. He's ever so slightly in love with himself and very pitchy. Ya boring.<br />
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<img alt="Image result for ya boring" height="179" src="https://thumbs.gfycat.com/GaseousEasygoingGermanwirehairedpointer-poster.jpg" width="320" /><br />
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19. Belarus: So young. Bendy guys. Her voice is all over the place, but she's 16. I have to admit I switched off part way through. Bad.<br />
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20: Azerbaijan: 3D printing his heart 'cause he hasn't got one. What octave are you singing? Where are you in the mix? You are not captivating my attention.<br />
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21: France: Diversity is our message. And man that ballerina could spin. I liked it. Not a spectacular song but a great message and very much in the Eurovision spirit. Well done France.<br />
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22: Italian: A polished performance. A good song. I could understand a few words here and there. We quite liked it. Clap along everyone.<br />
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23: Serbia: One leg out. It went all intense and ballad-y again. The girl can sing though. I'm surprised she's not constricted by that choker. My mum said she was very Elsa and I agree. it was a bit gothic Elsa, or Frozen does Eurovision. I was slightly concerned for her as she seemed to be superglued to the floor.<br />
<img alt="Image result for gothic elsa" height="179" src="https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/a5b51f0a-079a-4a92-886e-423b059fbfff/daus3m9-254cba94-d42f-4bd0-9221-06604375e545.png/v1/fill/w_1192,h_670,q_70,strp/gothic_elsa_by_iceman1123trooper_daus3m9-pre.jpg?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOjdlMGQxODg5ODIyNjQzNzNhNWYwZDQxNWVhMGQyNmUwIiwiaXNzIjoidXJuOmFwcDo3ZTBkMTg4OTgyMjY0MzczYTVmMGQ0MTVlYTBkMjZlMCIsIm9iaiI6W1t7ImhlaWdodCI6Ijw9MTA4MCIsInBhdGgiOiJcL2ZcL2E1YjUxZjBhLTA3OWEtNGE5Mi04ODZlLTQyM2IwNTlmYmZmZlwvZGF1czNtOS0yNTRjYmE5NC1kNDJmLTRiZDAtOTIyMS0wNjYwNDM3NWU1NDUucG5nIiwid2lkdGgiOiI8PTE5MjAifV1dLCJhdWQiOlsidXJuOnNlcnZpY2U6aW1hZ2Uub3BlcmF0aW9ucyJdfQ.umTbbMg4Nixj509Xtk9_lq0M-YnyVgkVVVc_IuACPzk" width="320" /><br />
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24: Switzerland: Oh God, the strut. I dislike him but the song is catchy.<br />
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25: Australia: The Ice Queen of Narnia? It's all very disconcerting. Are they on stilts? Wait a minute, where is that pole stuck? I think that's how she gets the high notes. Weird AF! It was very Wizard of Oz.<br />
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26: Spain: Ikea advert. Energetic, happy and cheesy AF. Look at all these bright colours and lights. We're so fun. We clearly work on children's TV.<br />
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Well that's it. We survived another night of Euro mayhem. Despite my initial worry at the amount of ballads, there was actually a great, weird, to ballad, to off the chain, ratio.<br />
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My top three were:<br />
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Iceland<br />
Norway<br />
Greece<br />
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Andrea also liked Italy and France. My dad liked the Russian entry and my Mum liked Greece and Sweden. As always, I'm sure none of my choices will even get close to a win, but thanks to them for the entertainment. Well Done to the UK entry who did a great job, and thanks to Madonna for once again proving what I've been saying for years: she can't sing for shit.<br />
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Enjoy the results and let me know your favourites.<br />
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Rants out.Helen Richardshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07751277903189017731noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-340054032580358189.post-66344938188684185922019-04-16T07:27:00.000-07:002019-04-16T07:27:59.224-07:00House Hunting 3: This Time It's PersonalWhen I last left you, with our offer and the happiness, it lasted a total of 6 days before they pulled out because someone was slightly further along in their sale than we were. Wankers. Unfortunately, that meant we were back to square one, with nothing we liked and everyone else stealing our houses out from under us.<br />
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Solace came in the form of the open house for our flat, which attracted big numbers, a few of which pulled out on the day and some whom never turned up, but of the nine that did, we had vibes from at least eight, the ninth guy being so tall I'm not sure he could have coped with our new build, tiny ceilings. It was actually really nice, showing people around yourself and hearing all the enthusiasm, despite the scaffolding. I know it's an amazing flat, but to hear strangers realising that after a few minutes, was just lovely. We knew we were likely to get a few offers from them. And we did.<br />
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Then A was on qualification leave, so was out of the country for most of the next month. I did a couple of viewings by myself, but they were mainly wasted trips, though I guess good to alleviate my curiosity. And the subject then turned to "projects". I have made my thoughts on this very clear, from the start. I did not want a "project", as I did not want to spend months with builders in the house and more scaffolding and mess and crap. I wanted a house we could pretty much move into, without much to do. But there was very little making its way to the market - probably Brexit's fault, most things are - and we were now in a mini panic, due to having a buyer for the flat.<br />
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Now there are projects and then there are horror shows, and we saw a couple of both. We saw massive homes, that looked liked squatter dens, and a house I am tempted to write a horror novel about. I mean, talk about your discarded dentists chairs...Eek! But this weekend we actually saw a couple of projects, that were nice and big and actual places you could walk in without grimacing, and I thought, maybe I could do this. Maybe I could deal with knocking half the walls down and....Wait, no, I still don't really want to do it. But if we were desperate, I guess we'd have to do it.<br />
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One thing you don't want to do, is rush what is probably the biggest purchase you'll ever make in your life. And rushing, I feel like we were. But then, after the Brexit delay, a few properties seem to make their way onto the market and we were starting to get excited again. In the mean time we had also been contacted about the second house we had put an offer on in February, the one with the island in the kitchen. The estate agent said the sale was likely falling through and would we still be interested. And I have to say, my initial response was: no, fuck off, you chose to shaft us last time, why should we jump at the chance to buy your house now?<br />
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We saw two properties on Saturday that were three bed, bonny houses and each had their own quirks and interesting bits. One of them I really fell in love with, though A quickly decided that it needed loads of work that would have to be done immediately. I think he thinks we are way more fancy than we are. But still, I preferred the quirky one, with pipes instead of a banister and extra windows to let in light, much more than the prettier, well kept one. I think perhaps, this says a lot about me. We came away, excited, exhausted, and completely confused. How do you make this decision?<br />
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Cut to yesterday, and we start to make an offer on the one I like. I know, shock horror. And we negotiate and come out at what we think is reasonable. Today, the seller agrees to our terms and we to his, and woo hoo, we've got a house - subject to survey. Are you waiting for the other shoe to fall because it's coming...<br />
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Literally half an hour after A sent the email, we get word that the house we had previously bid on, and lost, is available. I mean, have they hacked our feckin' emails? Half an hour! So now, A is in turmoil, because he wants that one, the fancy one that is four bed - not that we need it. And I now hate everything and can't concentrate on anything and just wish I could disappear for a bit. And I forgot to mention, that the smaller house that I want, is chain free, but the other one is in a chain. So basically, it could all come crashing down around us and then we'll have lost both.<br />
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Yay! Woo hoo! Isn't being a grown up, swell.<br />
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Rants out.<br />
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<br />Helen Richardshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07751277903189017731noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-340054032580358189.post-65694448016207762872019-02-28T03:33:00.000-08:002019-02-28T03:33:08.914-08:00House Hunting 2: The OffersWhen last I ranted, we had made on offer on a house with a mahoosive and truly magnificent kitchen, and we were in for the wait. And wait we did, but the owners were arseholes and after their property being on the market for three months already and ours being the only asking price offer submitted, they eventually decided they wanted more money and then went, nah, we'll remortgage thanks. Buggers.<br />
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Unfortunately, that kitchen has ruined me and now all other kitchens will be compared to that one, and inevitably be inferior, and that will always be our 'one that got away.' Sob. And so we returned to the drawing board, or in this case, the map on rightmove and found our next few viewings. We had some good ones and some not so great ones and some, oh, that looked way better on the photographs but quite shit in person. And some, oh dear, they have way over priced that - because I am now an expert and can give these carefully assessed observations. And some, oh that has a big basement, that could be interesting - and also full of spiders, and it would need to be dug out and probably cost us 6 months and 60 grand to do it. And we had viewings on weekends and weekdays and even on Valentine's Day and unfortunately that was one of the shite ones and I'd had a massively long day at work and just wanted to eat something.<br />
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But there were some lights ahead in the tunnel and we found a few beauties tucked away, again in the form of the massive terraced house. We're talking four bedrooms, attic conversion already done, at least two bathrooms and a garden and a short walk to a beautiful park etc etc. Not too shabby. However, these 'guide' prices on properties are starting to become annoying. You are giving just under asking price and then being told that actually they expect to get asking price or higher, and it's like, in this market? Are you serious? And also, WTF?! People always make offers lower than the price listed and then go higher if they need to, but what is all this demanding the price or higher malarkey? I don't get it!<br />
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Meanwhile, we had to prepare the flat for going on the market, which involved being screwed over by the valuer and eventually reasoning with them to make them see they were wrong. Obviously A dealt with that, though I did have to spend an hour with the extremely posh back up valuer we hired to get a second opinion on, which was scary. He immediately called out my accent and then explained he had family in Bolton. But I have literally never been in a room with someone so posh. Luckily he was also lovely and we ended up having a good chinwag.<br />
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Then came the de-cluttering which involved hiring a storage unit and getting rid of about fifteen boxes of stuff, plus other random crap and two of the three extra keyboard stands we own - who knows - and the guitar stand. Now that was a stressful morning. I moved so many boxes that day, it may have been the most upper body strength I've ever displayed in one go. We hired a van and were at the storage place at 8am, as they opened. Once off loaded, van returned and Andrea off to work, I spent the rest of the morning and early afternoon cleaning the bathroom. But when I say cleaning, I mean deep cleaning. I spent hours getting rid of expired products, cleaning out bottles to be put in recycling, and breathed in far too much bleach for one day.<br />
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The next day we had the photographer coming at 1pm and so I spent all morning cleaning and moving things and generally making the place look spectacular, and when he called to say that he was running a bit late, I rejoiced because it meant I could finish off and quickly wash my face before he arrived. And when he walked in and said: 'Wow, this looks great for photographs.' I knew that despite the fact that I hated everything and never wanted to clean anything again in my life, that it had been worth it. The photos were great and now it's a case of keeping it tidy. Most of the spices now live in a small suitcase so it gives the illusion that we have a tidy spice shelf, and most of the tupperware things are stuffed in a large suitcase. We have to keep going to find things as we need them.<br />
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We have an openhouse planned for this weekend where we hope to wow everyone with our beautiful flat, despite the building still being covered in scaffolding and the communal areas being a mess and the balcony works not finished and... I could go on. Maybe I'll bake some treats to distract them. It's worth a shot.<br />
<br />
And so, back to the houses. We found one. We liked it a lot. We had two viewings within the space of 3 days, and we were fairly certain we would put in an offer. It was very nicely done and even had a kitchen island - the dream - a wine fridge and beautiful views from the annex bedroom. But on the same day we also found another new property and were the first to view it, and the downstairs was amazing! Two massive reception rooms, a kitchen with so much space I could have a dance lesson in there. A window seat, a conservatory, a massive garden with grass plus decking and a brick barbecue. But this only had 3 bedrooms as the attic and basements had not been converted. So whilst it was beautiful, we opted first to put an offer on the bigger one, mainly due to less hassle not having to do the extension ourselves.<br />
<br />
And we entered a bidding war and we lost. Yay! The joys.<br />
<br />
But alas, yesterday we made an offer on the other house, and they have accepted. Eek. Argh. And other noises. And so A has already looked into architects and loft conversion specialists. Of course. And so we have to do that thing where you don't get your hopes up, but they are clearly up, because it could still be taken away or fall through, or no one may want our flat, but at the moment, we may have a house and it may or may not have a red door. Fate?!<br />
<br />
I didn't know what to do with myself, as I only found out about it an hour and a half ago. And after freaking out a bit, I decided to tick another item off my to do list, and write a blog.<br />
<br />
If anyone else is going through this house buying process at the moment, or selling, then I feel your pain and I too am not sleeping or able to think about much else. It's slightly consuming.<br />
<br />
Thank you for reading as always. And fingers crossed. Eek.<br />
<br />
RantsHelen Richardshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07751277903189017731noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-340054032580358189.post-48132719073573507722019-01-31T02:50:00.003-08:002019-01-31T02:50:55.760-08:00House Hunting London StylesOver the last few weeks, I have been doing something uncharacteristically grown up: house hunting. And so it seems only fair that I rant about it. It's scary and exciting and jaw dropping and eye opening. And you find yourself thinking houses at half a million are cheap (half a freakin' million!) and saying things like: 'This is well priced for the area.' I mean what the fuck do I know about anything, but I feel qualified to comment. You also throw out things like, 'that's at the top of our budget'; 'do we really need five bedrooms?' and 'this has potential.' Potential? What?!<br />
<br />
I have actually been enjoying <b>the looking.</b> The looking is great. It's like snooping in people's houses, but you're actually allowed to and the people aren't there, so they can't catch you being a nosy bitch watching through the windows. Oh come on, we all do that right? And of course, most of the ones we were looking at were very nicely done up, or nicely staged, and it becomes very exciting and overwhelming, because you're thinking, where will our stuff go, and can I see myself living here, and if I see another four bed terrace that I like, my head may explode.<br />
<br />
There's a certain <b>bubble of giddiness</b>, when you're snooping in, I mean, looking in houses, and you get carried away, which can lead you to become overly excited at interesting storage ideas and scream when you see the kitchen of your dreams. This never happened to me. Honestly. I didn't make the Estate Agent laugh. Not me. No. But when you get home this sort of quiet contemplation takes over, and you find yourselves unable to concentrate on anything, because you're brain is going three million miles a second, just trying to figure stuff out and you start talking yourself out of something. Until you go for a second viewing, and then you talk yourself right back into it. It's complicated. It's a set of emotions most people don't go through very often, unless you're one of those weirdo freaks who change their houses as often as I change my vans (roughly every 18 months to two years because I wear them out). I mean, who does that?<br />
<br />
<b>Location, location, location. </b>We are likely moving from an area we know and love, to an area we have no idea about. That is tough. But within that there are still areas that you think, no, I don't want to walk around here at night by myself. And if you're going to be spending ridiculous amounts of money on a house, you want to at least be able to walk home and like your area. It doesn't matter that inside the house is an absolute dream, and <i>so pretty</i> it made me want to cry. (I told you, a lot of emotions.) If you don't really want to walk through the streets to get home, there's a problem.<br />
<br />
<b>'It's just at the end of the road.'</b> Just some of the bullshit sprouted by the Estate Agents, though to be fair, I thought there would be more. We went to visit one house and were told the Olympic Park was at the end of the road, so on the way back we decided to walk there. It was about twenty minutes walk away and very much not at the end of the road. You also get a lot of, it's very close to the station, which to be clarified by google maps, usually means twenty minutes walk away. Not so very close.<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>Size both does and doesn't matter.</b> What I mean by this is that it's not always about the biggest house. The biggest one we've seen we hated. It was not us at all. It was massive but only had one bathroom for it's four bedrooms. We would have had to change so much to get it how we liked it, that it would have been pointless. And it had an extremely creepy, horror film cellar, and I've seen way too many horror films. It was also at the top of our budget and perhaps a little high on price for the area. There I go again with all my knowledge.<br />
<br />
The<b> photographs</b> that you see online can really make a difference and we've had cases of being disappointed, relieved and also pleasantly surprised. It seems like it's impossible to get photos right. If you use the fish eye too much, then you often walk in and think it is way smaller than you imagined. But then sometimes things look too narrow or too cluttered, but then you walk in and think, there's so much more space. And when they don't show you a picture of something, but they mention it - for instance, a cellar or basement - that basically means that it's a shit heap that they've done nothing to, but are willing to use as a selling point with the word 'potential' hastily pinned on. Also when they only show the house from the back, that usually means the house looks shitty from the front.<br />
<br />
And so we have made an offer on a place and now we have <b>the wait</b>. Why wouldn't they take our offer, we're nice people and we offered the asking price? But then you start doubting everything and the hopes that you weren't getting up, that you did of course get up, are now deflating. I mean, I would literally kill for that kitchen, but if they don't want our offer then it's obviously not meant to be <i>my</i> kitchen, and I'll have to go and snoop in more houses and find the one for us.<br />
<br />
This is Rants signing off on the 10th Anniversary of Flat 19, with so much guilt at the possibility of buying a new place and leaving Flat 19, that it's silly. I'm pretty sure Flat 19 won't hold it against me as we've given it ten years of wonder and enchantment, but then, who knows?<br />
<br />
To anyone else house hunting, I feel your pain, excitement, confusion and general WTF?<br />
<br />
Rants out.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Helen Richardshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07751277903189017731noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-340054032580358189.post-26917447528009153252019-01-18T02:58:00.000-08:002019-01-18T02:58:01.655-08:00RemakesDear Rants readers, there is a epidemic sweeping through all the big film studios and it needs to be stopped. It's pretty much Disney's fault as they've started with the 'real life' remakes of all the classic animated films - though I hasten to point out that the Jungle Book had one person in it and the rest was CGI (just a different type of animation), and the upcoming Lion King will have zero 'real life' elements as it will all be CGI. Plus it looks exactly the same as the animated one, so what is the effing point? Oh yeah, money. I got it. Money. And whilst I will say I quite enjoyed the Cinderella, mainly because the cast was brilliant and I love Lily James, they are pretty much unnecessary, except for the massive money making. And they don't even have the songs in. Or not all of them anyway. And if they do have the songs in, they're not sung as well as they were because the actors are then chosen for how they look and not what they sound like. Urgh! Not that you can't be extremely attractive and have an amazing voice. You can. But that doesn't mean you'll be cast in the new Disney remake.<br />
<br />
But then I read that they are redoing Roald Dahl's The Witches film, and I'm like, no. This cannot happen. This is so unnecessary. This is so wrong. The Witches is brilliantly creepy, capturing the essence of the book perfectly, and we don't need a new one. Besides, Anne Hathaway - no offense intended - She's great but she is no Angelica Houston. Just leave things alone and write some new stuff. Why does everything have to be a remake, a prequel or a sequel?<br />
<br />
And then the final straw. They are remaking the best musical ever written! The film that won the most Academy Awards for a Musical, ever! And is fourth on the list of most Academy Award wins, behind Lord of the Rings: Return of the King, Titanic and Ben-Hur. It won 10 Oscars! I mean, really, you want to remake that? Are you stupid? This film does not need a remake. It needs to be treasured for all time as the greatest musical masterpiece and it needs to be left alone. I don't give a flying feckle if Steven Spielberg is directing it, he directed Ready Player One which was shockingly shit considering the wonder of a novel it was crafted from. It makes me angry. Why aren't people creating new shit, instead of trying to recreate or update the classic shit? Just leave it alone.<br />
<br />
Needless to say I will not be watching it and I will continue to wear out my West Side Story DVD, and the two or three different versions of the OST that I own. And if it comes back to the stage I will buy a ticket. But I won't subscribe to this remake.<br />
<br />
What remakes make you angry? Is there anything you feel was done badly the first time that you would like a remake of? Or do you think it should all be left alone? Comments on a postcard to this address...<br />
<br />
Rants out.Helen Richardshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07751277903189017731noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-340054032580358189.post-69419371352534154912018-12-31T10:24:00.001-08:002018-12-31T10:25:40.648-08:00My Year in Books 2018<br />
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Well Rants readers, here we are again, at the end of another
year. It’s been a tough one in many ways but helping us to get through it as
always, is the world of literature. This year wasn’t about reading challenges
and reading as many books as I possibly could – as that usually distracts me
from other things – it was simply about enjoying books, taking my time and
exploring new authors. So the numbers might be lower but there have been some
good ‘uns. As always, I will take it month by month and choose a favourite for
each month. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Books I Read
in January</div>
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<ol>
<li><b style="text-indent: -18pt;"><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></b><b style="text-indent: -18pt;">SAGA Volume 5: Brian K. Vaughan and Fiona
Staples</b></li>
<li> <span style="text-indent: -18pt;">Letters Home: Sylvia Plath</span></li>
<li> <span style="text-indent: -18pt;">A Wrinkle in Time: Madeline L’engle</span></li>
<li> <span style="text-indent: -18pt;">Italian Short Stories for Intermediates: Olly
Richards</span></li>
<li> <span style="text-indent: -18pt;">Everybody Hurts: Joanna Nadin and Anthony
McGowan (Library)</span></li>
<li> <span style="text-indent: -18pt;">Nancy Drew Files #100 Dance Till You Die:
Carolyn Keene (Kindle)</span></li>
<li> <span style="text-indent: -18pt;">Nancy Drew Files #20 Very Deadly Yours: Carolyn
Keene (Kindle)</span></li>
<li> <span style="text-indent: -18pt;">Awful Auntie: David Walliams</span></li>
</ol>
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Quite a mix
of a month. My first taste of Nancy Drew sparked by my obsession with
Riverdale, the completion of a heavy book of letters from Sylvia Plath and my
last short stories in Italian before I moved on to novels. But alas, SAGA
steals the show this month. What a series, what wonderful minds created this, and long may it continue. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Books I Read
in February</div>
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<span style="text-indent: -18pt;">1 1. </span><span style="text-indent: -18pt;">Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix: J.K
Rowling (Re-read)</span><br />
<span style="text-indent: -18pt;">2.</span><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; text-indent: -18pt;">
</span><span style="text-indent: -18pt;">Forever: Judy Blume (Kindle)</span><br />
<span style="text-indent: -18pt;">3.</span><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; text-indent: -18pt;">
</span><span style="text-indent: -18pt;">The Summer of Us: Maggie Harcourt (Kindle)</span><br />
<span style="text-indent: -18pt;">4.</span><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; text-indent: -18pt;">
</span><span style="text-indent: -18pt;">When Everything Feels Like the Movies: Raziel
Reid (Library)</span><br />
<b style="text-indent: -18pt;">5.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></b><b style="text-indent: -18pt;">Love, Hate and Other Filters: Samira Ahmed
(Kindle)</b><br />
<span style="text-indent: -18pt;">6.</span><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; text-indent: -18pt;">
</span><span style="text-indent: -18pt;">State of Grace: Rachael Lucas (Kindle)</span><!--[if !supportLists]--><o:p></o:p></div>
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A big kindle
month with lots of great YA. I finally read Forever by Judy Blume, which
escaped me as a child and yet is talked about by authors, in film and TV all
the time. I thought it was about time I read it. It was quite tough to pick a winner this
month but it goes to Love, Hate and Other Filters by Samira Ahmed, a powerful debut which handles difficult issues with grace, humour and romance. Check it out. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Books I Read
in March<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="text-indent: -18pt;">1 1. </span><span style="text-indent: -18pt;">The Princess Diarist: Carrie Fisher (Kindle)</span><br />
<span style="text-indent: -18pt;">2.</span><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; text-indent: -18pt;">
</span><span style="text-indent: -18pt;">The Underground Railroad: Colson Whitehead
(Library)</span><br />
<span style="text-indent: -18pt;">3.</span><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; text-indent: -18pt;">
</span><span style="text-indent: -18pt;">Sofia Khan is Not Obliged: Ayisha Malik (Kindle)</span><br />
<span style="text-indent: -18pt;">4.</span><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; text-indent: -18pt;">
</span><span style="text-indent: -18pt;">A Skinful of Shadows: Frances Hardinge (Library)</span><br />
<b style="text-indent: -18pt;">5.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></b><b style="text-indent: -18pt;">One of us is Lying: Karen M. McManus</b><br />
<span style="text-indent: -18pt;">6.</span><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; text-indent: -18pt;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -18pt;">Silence is Goldfish: Annabel Pitcher</span><!--[if !supportLists]--><o:p></o:p></div>
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I learned a
lot this month. I learned that Princess Leia and Hans Solo were in love on and
off set. I learned about the Underground Railroad and I learned about muslim
dating. If I could have picked two winners of the month, the second would have
been Sofia Khan is Not Obliged by Ayisha Malik, which is fantastic and
hilarious and I can’t wait to read the sequel, however, One of Us is Lying is a such a great YA who-done-it, written from several perspectives, and it was so good I could
barely put the book down. I also bought it from a lovely charity book shop in a
crooked old house which gives me very happy memories. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Books I Read
in April<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="text-indent: -18pt;">1 1.</span><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; text-indent: -18pt;"> </span><span lang="IT" style="text-indent: -18pt;">Uccidere
per amore e per odio: Cinzia Medaglia</span><br />
<span style="text-indent: -18pt;">2.</span><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; text-indent: -18pt;">
</span><span lang="IT" style="text-indent: -18pt;">The
Falling sky: Pippa Goldschmidt</span><br />
<b style="text-indent: -18pt;"><span lang="IT">3.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span></b><b style="text-indent: -18pt;"><span lang="IT">Swing Time: Zadie Smith</span></b><br />
<span style="text-indent: -18pt;">4.</span><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; text-indent: -18pt;">
</span><span lang="IT" style="text-indent: -18pt;">The
Tightrope Walkers: David Almond</span><br />
<span style="text-indent: -18pt;">5.</span><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; text-indent: -18pt;">
</span><span style="text-indent: -18pt;">Black dove, White Raven: Elizabeth Wein</span><!--[if !supportLists]--></div>
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April was
about reading some books off my shelves and having a rest from the kindle screen.
It worked out well as I read an adult book by the great David Almond – love
him! – and I read a new author: Pippa Goldschmidt, but the top honours go to
Zadie Smith. I love her writing, it's so gritty and real, you can almost taste it, and it's even better when you
live in London because you know some of the places she is describing. Zadie, if
you’re giving lessons, you have an eager student here. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Books I Read
in May<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="text-indent: -18pt;">1 1.</span><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; text-indent: -18pt;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -18pt;">Simon Vs The Homo Sapiens Agenda: Becky
Albertalli (kindle)</span><br />
<span style="text-indent: -18pt;">2.</span><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; text-indent: -18pt;">
</span><span style="text-indent: -18pt;">A Kiss in the Dark: Cat Clarke (Kindle)</span><br />
<span style="text-indent: -18pt;">3.</span><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; text-indent: -18pt;">
</span><span style="text-indent: -18pt;">Big Bones: Laura Dockrill (Kindle)</span><br />
<b style="text-indent: -18pt;">4.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></b><b style="text-indent: -18pt;">Slay: Kim Curran</b><br />
<span style="text-indent: -18pt;">5.</span><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; text-indent: -18pt;">
</span><span style="text-indent: -18pt;">I am Malala: Malala (Kindle)</span><br />
<span style="text-indent: -18pt;">6.</span><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; text-indent: -18pt;">
</span><span style="text-indent: -18pt;">Fahrenheit 451: Ray Bradbury</span><!--[if !supportLists]--><o:p></o:p></div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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After seeing
Love Simon at the cinema – and loving it, I might add – it seemed only fair
that I eventually read the book. Cat Clarke’s books never fail to rip you apart
with the sheer brutality of the emotions, and they have this power to really zap you in. I went
back to the kindle in a big way this month, but the winner of best book has to be Slay by
Kim Curran. I mean, where was this book when I was a teen? Vampire slaying with
musicians and kick ass women…sign me up. The sequel should be out soon and I
cannot wait. Also I bought this from my local book shop: Owl Bookshop in
Kentish Town. I love this bookshop so a big shout out to them, and Kim Curran
who is a lovely human being!<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Books I Read
in June<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="text-indent: -18pt;">1 1.</span><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; text-indent: -18pt;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -18pt;">Perfect: Cecelia Ahern (Kindle)</span><br />
<b style="text-indent: -18pt;">2.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></b><b style="text-indent: -18pt;">Clean: Juno Dawson (Kindle)</b><br />
<span style="text-indent: -18pt;">3.</span><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; text-indent: -18pt;">
</span><span lang="IT" style="text-indent: -18pt;">Innamorarsi
di April: Melvin Burgess</span><br />
<span style="text-indent: -18pt;">4.</span><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; text-indent: -18pt;">
</span><span style="text-indent: -18pt;">Time and the Hunter: Italo Calvino</span><br />
<span style="text-indent: -18pt;">5.</span><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; text-indent: -18pt;">
</span><span lang="IT" style="text-indent: -18pt;">La
Straordinaria Avventura di Gatto Melanzana: Manuela Menini</span><br />
<span style="text-indent: -18pt;">6.</span><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; text-indent: -18pt;">
</span><span style="text-indent: -18pt;">How do you Like me Now?: Holly Bourne</span><br />
<span style="text-indent: -18pt;">7.</span><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; text-indent: -18pt;">
</span><span style="text-indent: -18pt;">SAGA Volume 6: Fiona Staples and Brian K. Vaughan</span><!--[if !supportLists]--><o:p></o:p></div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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Finally I
finished the Italian novel I had started a couple of months previously. The
book was tough to read and dealt with some tricky issues and took me a while,
but I got through it, my second full novel in Italian. Woo hoo. I highly recommend the
book whether read in English or translated. Melvin Burgess is fabulous. The winner of this month is Clean
by Juno Dawson. It is about addiction in young people and I thought it would be
thoroughly depressing, but it was full of hope and humour and a really great read. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Books I Read
in July<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b style="text-indent: -18pt;">1 1. <span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></b><b style="text-indent: -18pt;">Argilla: David Almond (In Italian)</b><br />
<span style="text-indent: -18pt;">2.</span><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; text-indent: -18pt;">
</span><span style="text-indent: -18pt;">In Patagonia: Bruce Chatwin (Kindle)</span><!--[if !supportLists]--></div>
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Not much
read this month, but we were on holiday for two weeks and if you have any idea
what my holidays are like, you would understand how not much relaxing and
reading ever goes on. The winner this month is Argilla by David Almond, again I
read it translated in Italian, and it only took me two weeks, my new record. It felt like a big achievement and it also meant reading one of my
favourite authors. Everybody wins and I learn more Italian. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Books I Read
in August<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b style="text-indent: -18pt;">1 1. </b><b style="text-indent: -18pt;">Jane Eyre: Charlotte Bronte</b><br />
<span style="text-indent: -18pt;">2.</span><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; text-indent: -18pt;">
</span><span lang="IT" style="text-indent: -18pt;">Festa
di Famiglia: Sveva Casati Modignani</span><br />
<span style="text-indent: -18pt;">3.</span><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; text-indent: -18pt;">
</span><span lang="IT" style="text-indent: -18pt;">NW:
Zadie Smith</span><br />
<span style="text-indent: -18pt;">4.</span><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; text-indent: -18pt;">
</span><span style="text-indent: -18pt;">SAGA Volume 7: Fiona Staples and Brian K. Vaughan</span><br />
<span style="text-indent: -18pt;">5.</span><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; text-indent: -18pt;">
</span><span style="text-indent: -18pt;">The Bookshop: Penelope Fitzgerald (Kindle)</span><br />
<span style="text-indent: -18pt;">6.</span><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; text-indent: -18pt;">
</span><span style="text-indent: -18pt;">Anything is Possible: Elizabeth Stroud</span><!--[if !supportLists]--></div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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Can you
believe it? I made it to the tender age of 34 without having read Jane Eyre,
though at least I got it in before my 35<sup>th</sup> Birthday. That would have
been embarrassing. What can I say? It’s a masterpiece. And I shall be reading
it again and again over the years, I am sure. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Books I Read
in September<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b style="text-indent: -18pt;">1 1. </b><b style="text-indent: -18pt;">The Lost and the Found: Cat Clarke (Kindle)</b><br />
<span style="text-indent: -18pt;">2.</span><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; text-indent: -18pt;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -18pt;">A Boy Called Ocean: Chris Higgins (Library)</span><br />
<span style="text-indent: -18pt;">3.</span><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; text-indent: -18pt;">
</span><span style="text-indent: -18pt;">The Trees: Ali Shaw</span><br />
<span style="text-indent: -18pt;">4.</span><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; text-indent: -18pt;">
</span><span style="text-indent: -18pt;">L’arte di correre: Haruki Murakami</span><!--[if !supportLists]--></div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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This month I took in another
Italian book, this one non-fiction and autobiographical. Also a little hard
going and unnecessarily flowery at times, but still, good to experience new
vocabulary and literary devices in a different language. This month’s winner is
Cat Clarke, who writes awesome books for a YA audience and has the ability to
pull you in and have you feeling all of the emotions. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Books I Read
In October<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b style="text-indent: -18pt;">1 1.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></b><b style="text-indent: -18pt;">A Quiet Kind of Thunder: Sara Barnard
(Kindle)</b><br />
<span style="text-indent: -18pt;">2.</span><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; text-indent: -18pt;">
</span><span style="text-indent: -18pt;">84K: Claire North</span><br />
<span style="text-indent: -18pt;">3.</span><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; text-indent: -18pt;">
</span><span style="text-indent: -18pt;">Classic Ghost Stories: Dickens et al…</span><br />
<span style="text-indent: -18pt;">4.</span><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; text-indent: -18pt;">
</span><span style="text-indent: -18pt;">The Bloody Chamber and Other Stories: Angela
Carter</span><!--[if !supportLists]--></div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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I tried to
have a slightly spooky Halloween month and thoroughly enjoyed all the short
ghost stories and my first reading of Angela Carter. I already have a couple of
her other books to divulge at my leisure. But Sara Barnard’s romantic tale of a
mute girl and a deaf boy is just so charming and heart breaking and heart-warming
and brilliant, that I read it in two days, despite working both of those days. If
you haven’t read any Sara Barnard, check her out. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Books I Read
in November<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l5 level1 lfo11; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<span style="text-indent: -18pt;">1 1. </span><span style="text-indent: -18pt;">Spinning Silver: Naomi Novik</span><br />
<span style="text-indent: -18pt;">2.</span><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; text-indent: -18pt;">
</span><span style="text-indent: -18pt;">SAGA Volume 8: Fiona Staples and Brian K.
Vaughan</span><br />
<span style="text-indent: -18pt;">3.</span><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; text-indent: -18pt;">
</span><span style="text-indent: -18pt;">Are we all Lemmings and Snowflakes?: Holly
Bourne (Kindle)</span><br />
<b style="text-indent: -18pt;">4.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></b><b style="text-indent: -18pt;">Alias Grace: Margaret Atwood</b><br />
<span style="text-indent: -18pt;">5.</span><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; text-indent: -18pt;">
</span><span style="text-indent: -18pt;">Kitchen: Banana Yoshimoto (In Italian)</span><!--[if !supportLists]--><o:p></o:p></div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l5 level1 lfo11; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<o:p></o:p></div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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Another
great mix of books this month. Another Italian novel, read in ten days – my new record - and thoroughly enjoyed, another volume of SAGA which never fails to
entertain, and another book by YA legend: Holly Bourne. But the year is not
complete without at least one Margaret Atwood book and Alias Grace is epic. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Books I Read
In December</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo12; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<span style="text-indent: -18pt;">1 <b> 1. </b></span><b><span style="text-indent: -18pt;">My Brilliant Friend: Elena Ferrante</span><br /><span style="text-indent: -18pt;">2.</span><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; text-indent: -18pt;">
</span><span style="text-indent: -18pt;">The Story of a New Name: Elena Ferrante</span><br /><span style="text-indent: -18pt;">3.</span><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; text-indent: -18pt;">
</span><span style="text-indent: -18pt;">And a Happy New Year: Holly Bourne (Kindle)</span><br /><span style="text-indent: -18pt;">4.</span><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; text-indent: -18pt;">
</span><span style="text-indent: -18pt;">All the Bright Places: Jennifer Niven (Kindle)</span><br /><span style="text-indent: -18pt;">5.</span><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; text-indent: -18pt;">
</span><span style="text-indent: -18pt;">Valley of the Dolls: Jacqueline Susann (Kindle)</span></b><!--[if !supportLists]--><o:p></o:p></div>
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Okay, so you
tell me how to pick a favourite from this choice line up? December really was a
top month to finish the year on. Finally introducing myself into the world of Elena
Ferrante, revisiting the Spinster Club for its final outing, and reading a book
that is over fifty years old but feels like it was written last week. I took in some new
authors, all women, with great stories….ahhhh! It’s too hard to choose. So I will take the wuss way out. You all win.
You’re brilliant and I can’t wait to get started on the books I got for
Christmas, let alone all the new wonderful new releases and classics and books
already out there to be explored in 2019. <o:p></o:p></div>
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So the final
tally was 64! Not a patch on previous years but sometimes it is nice to just take your time and not rush things. Whilst most of 2018 was awash with anguish and political strife and upset, at least the literary world was keeping us entertained and will always continue to do so. <o:p></o:p></div>
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This is Rants out for another year. </div>
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Happy New Year. </div>
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Buon Anno.</div>
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And all the best for 2019. May there only be small scale, every day grievance style rants, and not great big, hairy, tearing countries and communities apart rants. </div>
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<br />Helen Richardshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07751277903189017731noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-340054032580358189.post-5218255456204021672018-12-20T04:56:00.003-08:002018-12-20T04:56:49.807-08:00Keeping Tabs and Wasting TimeHello lovely Rants readers. So yesterday I had an appointment to get my phone battery changed at a place in Soho. The slot had been booked since last Friday and I was taking advantage of the Apple offer to change battery for £25, before the offer ends on the 31st December. But then on Tuesday evening, I received an email, which I didn't see until Wednesday morning, which basically said we may not have a battery for you, so call us in advance. I called them and of course they didn't have any batteries left, despite this slot having been booked, specifically for a battery replacement, five days previously.<br />
<br />
I frantically researched for an alternative spot and found the one remaining slot at the Apple store in Covent Garden at 3.35pm. I was teaching at 4.30pm but I figured it was my last shot and I'd be cutting it fine, but I should still make it. So I leave a little bit early to make sure I've got enough time to navigate the chaos that is Covent Garden at Christmas, and I've backed up my phone, done all the preamble they asked for and even managed to get my phone out of its heavy duty, you-will-not-break -even-if-I-drop-you, case, which is not easy.<br />
<br />
I wait a few minutes to be seen and they basically tell me my battery is running at 90% which considering it is around 3 years old, is great. He also tells me I don't actually need to get it replaced, but A had been badgering me about this for months and obviously thought it should be done. And now I'm faced with a decision and I can't seem to make it. And I hate myself for that because I'm an independent woman who, believe it or not, can actually make decisions for herself, but when it comes to technology does not trust herself, because the technology generally hates her. So I call A, and feel the feminists judge me, because I ask him what he thinks I should do. And whilst I would love to save the money, A insists its the right way to go. So I do it. I hand over my phone and the guy says it'll be ready about 5.00pm.<br />
<br />
I head off to teach two private lessons in Angel, without the ability to listen to music - as I gave in my phone - and without anyway of contacting anyone. But I had a good book I'd just started on the kindle: a YA I've been meaning to read for years, and I get stuck in. (All the Bright Places by Jennifer Niven. It's very good.)<br />
<br />
After teaching my final two students before Christmas, I ask about buses back to Convent Garden - again, can't check because of no phone - and I find my way back to the Apple store. It's now 6.40pm and I expect to be in and out. I am not. I am immediately signed in and they say it's busy but we'll have someone with you as soon as we can. Now I'm a patient person - I work with kids, I have to be - but after twenty minutes, I started to get a bit agitated. The lights were too bright. I was reading but not always taking it in, because if I lost myself to the book I might become invisible and they would pass right by me.<br />
<br />
After half an hour, I started to very carefully, glare at the girl who signed me in. I was tired, hungry, dehydrated and borderline pissed off at this point, and still nothing. At this point I realise via my fitness watch that I've had a missed call - presumably from A - but whilst I can see I've been called, I can't actually answer a call. So I sit and think, he'll realise where I am, plus I'll be out of here soon. But after 45 minutes, I am still there, on the same stool, needing the toilet, my eyes now sick of the lights - I don't know how people work there eight hours a day - and I can't hold it in any longer. (My frustration not my pee.) The woman comes back and says, 'You've been waiting a while. Let me check up for you.' I say it's been 45 minutes, with the most polite yet pissed off tone I can manage. She finds someone else, who says give it five more minutes and if no one arrives, they will literally go up and get it themselves. I mean, if that was an option, why couldn't they have done that in the first place? But anyhoo, at least people are aware.<br />
<br />
Three minutes later, a woman appears and bellows my name. But at this point I can't manage a smile. I'm not happy it's there, I'm tired and hungry/cranky - which is one of the worst types of cranky - and I know that A will have been panicking and sending messages and freaking out, because we're all so used to being able to contact someone all the time and to know where they are all the time, that the immediate thought when you can't is: panic, some one's hurt or dead or there's a zombie apocalypse. Chill out people. There was life before the technology that keeps tabs on us. There were days and weeks when you didn't contact people but you didn't immediately presume bad things. I kinda miss those days. But then I also missed listening to music on the bus journey.<br />
<br />
Gilbert (my phone) was returned and hastily bundled back into his heavy duty case. There's a reason he looks so good and is in fine condition, because he is wrapped in armour enough to withstand my occasional lack of coordination, my lack of spacial awareness and the times when you just drop shit for no apparent reason. And there are the missed calls and the messages. A was so panicky that he wouldn't start cooking until he had heard from me. It is ridiculous what technology has done to us. We have to have contact or that person is in trouble. We have to have contact or something bad has happened.<br />
<br />
What did we do before hand? Did parents really panic and worry every single second of the day because they didn't know your exact whereabouts? Did boyfriends and girlfriends, partners or spouses, panic about who was doing the shopping for the evening meal, or who was going to be back first, or where you were and what you were doing? No, you decided these things before you left the house, or you left a note, or you called them on the landline. And if there was an issue, then you found a pay phone, or you were just late back and then you explained the reason, or made an excuse.<br />
<br />
We should try some experiments. Turn your phone off for a couple of hours, or refuse to answer messages and see what happens. Am I just cruel? Or would that be a lot of fun?<br />
<br />
Rants out.<br />
<br />
<br />Helen Richardshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07751277903189017731noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-340054032580358189.post-65660022863149535452018-11-27T05:01:00.000-08:002018-11-27T05:01:09.677-08:002 Gigs in a Week, Scrooge and Holes in the Ceiling. Hello Rants Readers. After my favourite month of October, a little jaunt to Salem for a Halloween Ball, and only just taking the Halloween decorations down, I have definitely been avoiding all talks of that other holiday, creeping up on us, though I think it's been not-so-subtly-stalking us since August. There is a definite Scrooge-like mentality growing within me. I'm sick of it already and it's not even happened. It's all too much for one day. And I know most people will disagree but I'm counting on at least one fellow Scrooge out there. Bah Humbug.<br />
<br />
So last week I attended two gigs in a week. I know. It's like I'm twenty all over again. But guess what? I'm not twenty anymore and boy was that exhausting. Two late nights. Ears buzzing from the speakers. Legs and back hurting from standing at Ally Pally to watch Nothing but Thieves. Voice hurting from my usual, must compete with entire band and amplifiers. But it means I've finally seen Florence and the Machine. Wow! Now that is the epitome of a voice filling a room. Amazing! And I've been involved in the unique and crazy atmosphere of Ally Pally. It will likely be the one and only time. Ha ha. But queuing for half an hour to get out of the venue and into the tube, before your 45 minute journey home really puts a downer on the evening. It's up there with returning from the airport after a trip. A grumpy Rants ensues. And I was always too sensible for a mosh pit, so that hasn't changed, I can report. The divide when the band said mosh pit, was hilarious. A group of us melded back into the shadows, whilst the sprightly, brave ones tore forwards to injure themselves and others.<br />
<br />
I think today may be the official school trip day of North London. Every single tube was filled with at least two different school's worth of children. Now, I love working with kids, but travelling with them to then teach more of them, is a bit much. Does anyone else deflate a little when they spy a class of teeny, high-vis vest wearing youngsters, trailing into the tube station?<br />
<br />
The building work has finally started inside Flat 19 and so far it involves lots of holes in the ceiling. I'm pretty sure I'm going to come home one day and there will be one big hole and I'll be able to wave at the upstairs neighbours. We spent a lot of the weekend, moving and boxing up books and shelving units that would be otherwise in the way. So the bedroom now houses these as well as a make shift work area for me and all the instruments I'll need for classes, so that I don't have to disturb the builders. But living out of one room is tough, especially when you partly work from home. Another annoying thing is that you never know when they're actually going to be there, so I arrived home from class today and no one was there, but the same happened yesterday and just as I settled on the couch to eat my soup and catch up with Strictly, the door bell rang. So who knows when they'll be back today? Still, at least they are keeping everything neat and tidy - at the moment - which is nice.<br />
<br />
One more thing before I go. There was a film out a couple of weeks back called: The Hate You Give, based on a book of the same title by Angie Thomas. It is a fantastic novel and the film was so well done. My partner came with me who had no idea what it was about and he loved it. And despite it being based on a YA novel, this is a film for all ages, because the topic is current and necessary and, without giving too much away, we are talking white cop shoots a black teenager for no reason. The cast is phenomenal and I urge you to check it out if it is still on at your local cinema, because I really feel that it was not given enough screen time, especially in London. We had been seeing trailers for it for months, so expected a mass of showings at different cinemas and different times, and after only having been out two days, the film was only showing in the middle of the day and one cinema close to us had one evening showing, which we managed to get ourselves to. But some of the tosh that was on, and that is kept on for weeks on end, yet such an on point and significant film that is actually stupendous in its own right, was hardly given a chance.<br />
<br />
I've been meaning to rant about that for a while, because if you look on Rotten Tomatoes, The Hate You Give has 97% and Venom - for instance, which was out at the same time - had about 30%, yet Venom was on for at least a month, with multiple showings a day, in every cinema in central London. I think more space needs to be made for smaller films, indie films and films that are actually good, rather than some of the tosh and massive blockbusters that have no real story and no life to them. Again, this weekend we watched Widows (91%), which is fantastic and has a brilliant female cast, and I know it's been out a couple of weeks, but things like The Crimes of Grindelwald - which is pants - and Robin Hood (17%) - again with very low scores and bad reviews, have so many more showings. I realise it's the way the world works with mass consumption and Hollywood and advertising and all the rest, but I really thing the smaller films don't need to be confined to art house cinemas or put on at silly times, they should be given residence in the central cinema chains, giving the public more of a choice and these films more of a chance.<br />
<br />
Okay, I need to get off now. Lunch time approaches and probably the builders. Those holes won't make themselves.<br />
<br />
Rants out. Thanks for reading.<br />
<br />
<br />
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<br />Helen Richardshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07751277903189017731noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-340054032580358189.post-23099938933634705412018-10-02T04:39:00.001-07:002018-10-02T04:39:10.168-07:00A Little Bit Of Self Sabotage Goes A Long Way. How the feck is it October? Sorry, I mean, hi Rants readers. But seriously, how is it October? September was supposed to be submission September. I coined the term myself - that's probably not true, but in my head it was - and I was pleased with the alliteration. However, September has come and gone and I have not made another submission yet. Mainly because I decided to re-write half the book when I should have just been writing synopses.<br />
<br />
Ah, self sabotage. Turns out I'm really good at it. I set myself a target and as that approaches, instead of knuckling down and pulling all-nighters and killing myself for that self-made deadline, I just let it fritter away. I decide I hate everything and let the doubt donkey in - see my blog: The Donkey, Monsters and The Jumping Snake, from 18/7/13 for more information on the doubt donkey. And I know I can't write a synopsis, and that's why I do this every pissing time, but just deciding everything is crap and ignoring it is never going to get this sodding book finished and submitted. I really know how to make myself angry.<br />
<br />
I tried reading lots of blog posts and advice on writing synopses. I also wrote three or four and started editing them, but then two days later thought they were the biggest pile of drivel I'd ever read. I swear my will power used to be much stronger and that I used to be able to tell the doubt donkey to kindly fuck himself, but recently it's like he's in control and it's annoying to say the least. Sometimes I wish a giant would come and pick me up and shake all this nonsense out of me and then I would have more belief in myself, but alas I think that option is unlikely.<br />
<br />
It's true that once one thing in your life is going well, other things are going to fall apart dramatically, it's just sad that it has to be my writing, or more precisely, my own belief in my writing ability, that had to be the one to take a hit. Italian classes are going well. Most of my music classes are going well and therefore, my submissions are at a standstill. I write myself lists and do everything on the list but completing a synopsis. I am sabotaging myself and it has to stop!<br />
<br />
On another completely unrelated note, I started watching Killing Eve last night and it's amazing! The writing is spectacular and the cast is phenomenal. It is always a delight to recognise fantastic writing within a TV programme. Also, if you're not already watching Atypical on Netflix, go for it, it's brilliant. But I can safely say the Season 2 finale is complete with one of the best rants ever! Paige's rage is superbly written and acted.<br />
<br />
Well, I should probably be writing synopses but instead I'm writing this. And now I'm hungry. Maybe I'll just grab an early lunch. But wait, there I go again. Self sabotage.<br />
<br />
Argh!<br />
<br />
Rants.Helen Richardshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07751277903189017731noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-340054032580358189.post-32737880851895480892018-08-24T02:19:00.002-07:002018-10-02T04:02:46.941-07:00Insurance, Weird Dreams, A Giant Aviary and A New InsultWhat a shocking night's sleep last night. After falling asleep on the couch watching TV with my beloved, it should have been simple: teeth brushed and then back to the business of sleep, but instead it became thinking and over thinking and oh my, an hour has passed and I'm still thinking. There are way too many things going on in my head and I just want to escape them all.<br />
<br />
I had some pretty crazy dreams the last couple of nights too. I discovered after living in the same place for ten years, that we had an awning outside, which meant we could convert half the garden into a shelter and have dinner outside even it was raining. We set all that up and lo and behold it did start raining. Then loads of people came for dinner, including a very close friend of mine, who turned up with her first ever boyfriend - who she split up with years ago - and three kids that she had supposedly given birth to yesterday. I congratulated her on how great she looked and we discussed the fact that she was only meant to have twins, so who was the extra child? The three kids were enormous and could already walk, despite being born yesterday. Freaky. One had jet black hair, one had white blonde hair, and the other had half jet black, half white blonde.<br />
<br />
I mean, what the crap is wrong with my subconscious?<br />
<br />
Anyhoo, we have a new lodger in Flat 19. It's alive, it makes weird sounds, it makes a mess all over the kitchen and its name is Spencer. Yes, you guessed it, it's a sourdough starter from San Francisco and it's A's new obsession.<br />
<br />
I'm not going to lie to you, Rants is not a huge fan. It makes all these weird clicks and gurgles, and when you're in the flat by yourself it can freak you out. But he could have worse hobbies. And at least we get bread out of it.<br />
<br />
We have heard that the joyous scaffolding will remain until February, so there goes any chance of appreciating the clouds, enjoying the balcony seat or enjoying the view. But it has now become less a squirrel's playground and more a giant aviary. If it's not pigeons, it's gulls, which make a racket at 3.30am, 5.30am and sometimes throughout the day. Then it is the ones that I only ever hear and never see. The gulls that laugh, you know the ones, 'ha ha ha ha ha, ha ha ha ha ha.' I can tell you, it's not fucking funny. And then there are the ones that aren't even melodic, they're more of a percussive dunk or click. And they have a habit of sitting close enough to send all their annoying, distracting sounds my way, whilst staying out of sight, so I can't throw things at them, or bash on the windows and scare them.<br />
<br />
Did you know, you can't kill a gull? I didn't until I googled it. No, apparently they are protected. I mean the swans I get, they're majestic and beautiful and their babies are adorable, but really? Gulls?<br />
I created a new insult for the gulls, which I am quite proud of. I tend to sing it to them when they're at their most irritating: You little shit bag wanker fucks.<br />
<br />
I've been told that I now need third party liability insurance to continue working at the nurseries, after six years of music classes, so I'm in the throws of figuring out what the hell that is, and attempting to find a quote. But then they ask you all these intelligent questions that you don't know the answers to, and I blagged it best I could, after all, I was only on money supermarket looking for a quote...<br />
<br />
The phone rings twenty minutes later. 'Hi it's blah, blah, blah, from blah, blah, blah, about your quote for insurance. Ahhhh. They're watching me. I completely panicked and garbled some nonsense about not knowing if I ticked the right boxes and wanting to discuss it with my partner because I think I might have done it all wrong and I didn't understand half of it. And he's saying, well I can help you with that. And all I'm thinking is, I'm trying to write a scene of my novel and I feel like you're going to try and push me into doing something I don't want to, and I can't get off the phone quick enough.<br />
<br />
Oh well, time to return to the novel. These scenes don't write themselves. Shame.<br />
<br />
Rants<br />
<br />Helen Richardshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07751277903189017731noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-340054032580358189.post-74038593981572186212018-06-29T04:59:00.000-07:002018-06-29T04:59:10.270-07:00London: 10 Years In...So I completely failed at producing a blog around my tenth anniversary in London. And when I say failed, I mean, I spent two and half hours writing it and then realised it wasn't funny enough and then hated it and didn't post it.<br />
<br />
So instead, I will garble on about a few things I will never get used to about London, and probably segue into a few other random tit bits, and finally cool down from the run I just went for and go for a shower, but that could be hours yet.<br />
<br />
After ten years in London:<br />
<ul>
<li>I will never get used to the heat of the tube, especially in summer. Once the temperature starts to rise, I refuse to sit down even if there are seats available. I stand up, avoiding sitting on the hot seats that have been absorbing the sweaty heat of the previous persons arse, and yet still, the line of sweat trickles down my back, underneath the thinnest top I could feasibly wear without it being see through, and even though no one can see it, I feel like they all can, and they're judging me for perspiring. </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>I will never get used to the people that keep on long sleeves and jumpers, and sometimes even coats, on the tube. Yes. Coats. I'm sweltering in shorts and a sleeveless tops and there are those in full suits, who must just stew in their arm pit sweat all day. I don't get it. I never will. Just go in a t-shirt and get changed at the office. </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>I think I have shown that I will never lose my accent. Bath and castle will always be bath and castle, never barth and carstle. Though I do admit to changing from buzz to bus. When you work with kids and you sing Wheels on the Bus several times a day, then it gets drummed into you pretty hard, that actually the word is bus with an s, not two Zs like the sound a bee makes. Though I can revert back when necessary. And after some time up north with my family and friends the accent gets stronger and I love that. I love seeing southerners trying to figure out where I'm from, especially as I have a few accent remnants from my time working in Manchester too. </li>
</ul>
<div>
<ul>
<li>I will never get used to how brilliant the public transport is and yet most conversations you have are to do with the weather - of course, it's Britain - but also the trains, or lack there of, or delay of, or cancellation of, or the fullness of, or the lack of air conditioning on, or the removal of carriages or the lack of crew. It is right up there with the weather as the most talked about small talk and probably the most complaints. And yet, the network is absolutely fantastic...when it works. You can get anywhere across London and beyond, by probably two or three or maybe more different ways, different modes and different options. I love not having to drive. I love that I don't have to rely on other people in order to get myself places, though I do have to rely on the services actually running. </li>
</ul>
</div>
<div>
<ul>
<li>Somehow I am still working with the same nursery chain, though in a different capacity and no longer full time, but considering I pretty much hated it from day one, I've actually managed to make the most out of it, and from those first four and half years of stress and upset and occasional sparks of fun and brilliance, I have built a network of families, parents and children that I am still working with, and that have enabled me to support myself as a part-time-self-employed-wannabe-writer. (Wow, that's a long sentence.) You see, somewhere along the line being nice and good with children, and having some musical abilities have paid off. Who knew?</li>
</ul>
</div>
<div>
<ul>
<li>I will never understand the way London joins up from one famous spot to another unless I have walked there with my own legs, and then I will probably know only one way to walk there and I will always take that street for fear of ending up in Narnia. It's a big place and you are never going to run out of areas to visit or new streets to walk down. I love it. You can also do all your exploring without bumping into everyone you've ever known and all those annoying people from high school who made you miserable just because they had blonde hair or were thinner or had actual fashion sense - something I've never aspired to - or more money or were cleverer. You can be fairly anonymous and that's quite nice too. It's quite freeing. Who gives a shit that I just spilled my drink all over myself, I'll never see that person again, they probably live near Wembley, or more likely South of the river, or even more likely, they're a tourist. </li>
</ul>
</div>
<div>
<ul>
<li>I love the weird, almost rivalry, between North of the river and South of the river. It's a big thing. And quite often, once you have chosen your side of the river, you will always live that side of the river. Not many people switch. For instance, about ninety percent of everyone I've met, worked with, or been friends with in London, have lived South of the river, which always meant a hefty trek to visit. But we have always been North. And we can't understand why other people don't come North - except for of course, the house prices - because it's brilliant! Camden, Hampstead Heath, Kings Cross, London Zoo, Primrose Hill, Regents Park... Yes I realise I just mentioned lots of really expensive places to live. Okay. I get it, but I still wouldn't move South of the river. I need to be North, it's in my blood. </li>
</ul>
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Excuse me whilst I quickly segue into some random tit bits...</div>
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This week saw me making huge progress in overcoming one of my more recent fears: that of deep water. It's been going on a good few years now and unfortunately, plagues me in deep swimming pools, resulting in panic attacks once I realise I can no longer stand up. I know. Pathetic. I used to be a really strong swimmer. But I've been taking one of the boys I pick up from school to swimming lessons over this term and sitting there watching people swim was actually making me jealous. </div>
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I used to love to be in the water, even the open air pool in Blackpool. My mum has a photograph of me, practically blue in the face from the cold, but refusing to come out. And now, there's this block, this barrier, that's keeping me from doing something I actually really enjoy. And I know it's probably psychological, because I haven't had any bad experiences or anything like that, but I do have a powerful imagination, and I do presume the worst in situations, and I do watch a lot of horror films. So...</div>
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But this week I decided to go for it. And after the child's parent had come to collect him, I got into my swimming stuff and I made myself get in that pool. It turns out singing a song you like, by an inspiring woman can work wonders, as can just telling yourself - in your head - that it's fine and it's just water. And also a bit of Dory advice too: just keep swimming. Just get to the other side. It doesn't matter that the water has changed colour because of the depth. It doesn't matter that I can't stand up. I don't need to stand up because I'm swimming, and also there are two lifeguards there and as I'm in the slow lane we are right by the side of the pool, so I can grab on if necessary. </div>
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The song I sang to myself was: Take to the sky by Tori Amos, which also got me through the last 8 miles of a half marathon, many moons ago. For some reason it propels me on and gives me a push. These are the chorus lyrics, I added the brackets:</div>
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'You can say it one more time, </div>
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What you don't like. (Deep water)</div>
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Let me hear it one more time then, (I don't like deep water)</div>
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Have a seat while I, take to the sky.'</div>
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I managed 14 lengths and no panic attacks, though my next big leap will be putting my face in the water. At the moment I am doing breast stroke and keeping my head out of the water, but I'll get there. And my plan was to do the same thing for the next two Tuesdays, which would take us to the end of the school term and also to my summer holidays. But of course England go and lose and are now playing next Tuesday so I won't be able to go. Ah well. Maybe I'll go Wednesday instead as my Italian classes are done until August. Freedom!</div>
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Oh, and I had my eyes tested the other day and nothing has changed for the first time since I was seventeen and realised I needed glasses. Whoop! So that's one expense I can cross off the list. I just need to find a new hairdressers as mine has gone out of business, which I <span style="background-color: yellow;">only found out </span>yesterday when I called for an appointment. Ah well, I'll cope with my straw like, split end mess for another week. </div>
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I should probably go and take that shower now. </div>
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As always thanks for reading. I will be up north this weekend visiting my family and friends. Maybe taking a buzz, and I cannot wait. But here's to the next ten years in London. I bloody love it. </div>
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Rants. </div>
Helen Richardshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07751277903189017731noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-340054032580358189.post-70937454186245072672018-06-11T05:20:00.002-07:002018-06-11T05:20:19.818-07:00I AM ANGRY!I am angry!<div>
Another shitty Monday morning of lessons. </div>
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Today I was actually locked in a classroom - I had no idea until I tried to leave - with the seven children I was teaching, which is not only completely illegal and wrong, but also horrendous, I mean, who wants to be locked in. I need escape routes. And one of the children is on the spectrum, and two of the others were hitting each other with the instruments. And the child with autism kept throwing everything and I was by myself and unbeknownst to me, locked in. Great!</div>
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Then I go to teach my second class of the morning only to find out that not all the children I need are there; they've sent one to the park, and left me with two kids that aren't even in the music class. The staff member left behind - thankfully they left me with someone - wasn't bothered at all. She wasn't concerned that she'd sent the wrong child to the park. She wasn't concerned that that parent had paid for a lesson that the child now did not attend. And she fully admitted to me that she was going to lie to the parent and tell them that the child said he wanted to go to the park instead. Which is nonsense anyway, because he doesn't get to choose. His parents have paid for music class, he's in the damn music class. </div>
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And not only that, but she kept trying to insert one of the two children that were surplus to requirements, into the class, claiming that he's in the class and always has been. Despite the fact that he's never been in the class and I know who's in the fucking class, because it's my fucking business. And there's a list on the wall, that I can see from where I'm sat, which clearly states who is in the class, and she has never looked at it. And she couldn't give a shit. I mean, incompetence doesn't even cut it. She just sat ignoring the other two children that of course couldn't join in, and sat on the ipad, whilst they got really bored watching me and could have been at the park. And then proceeded to tell them, that I didn't want them in the class. Er, excuse me. I can't have them in the class because they haven't paid and I don't have permission from parents. Just because you are shit at your job and can't get off your lazy arse to read a list with seven names on it, doesn't mean you can tell children I don't want them. I mean, how the fuck is she even working with kids if she says things like that to them? </div>
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Needless to say I was/am livid, but writing this will help and watching yesterday's Poldark over my lunch break should also take the edge off. But really, URGH!</div>
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I emailed the parent immediately and told them what happened and I hope they make a complaint, because it's not the first time this nursery have done something like this and I am not giving refunds when I was there to teach the child. It is not my fault the child wasn't there to be taught. </div>
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And right now I am reading this out loud in a very angry tone with the window open whilst the builders walk past my window, and probably think I'm a crank. </div>
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Great start to the week. </div>
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Rants</div>
Helen Richardshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07751277903189017731noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-340054032580358189.post-91893583221970232712018-05-30T01:32:00.000-07:002018-05-30T01:36:14.825-07:00A Squirrel's Play CentreToday's rant is brought to you from behind the scaffolding, from behind the blue mesh that blocks out the sky and the walkways that roll right past our fifth floor windows.<br />
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Today's rant is brought to you from a penned in writer who misses her view and can no longer use her balcony as she now shares it with squirrels and a whole host of birds that use it like their very own nature reserve.<br />
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I miss the clouds. I miss watching the storms. I miss being able to leave things on the balcony without them being torn apart by oversized rats with fluffy tails. And I miss being able to open the windows without fear of a creature or person wandering in. We can't even keep the curtains open as there are high-vis vests wandering around at any time. And there is only one room without windows, so you have to get dressed in the bathroom to conserve your modesty.<br />
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The squirrels are elated as they now have their own high-rise play centre. The interconnecting poles, the stairways and the netting, has provided them with plenty to do and the little pests think it is fun to destroy our planters and throw soil everywhere. The other day I left a bag of rubbish on the balcony in order to take down later, and when I went out to get it, there were several holes in it and food splattered everywhere. Little shits.<br />
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Everything is muted. The colours are all wrong, and behind blue netting and the rectangular metal mesh stuff - intended to keep out intruders - I am only able to see the world through a variety of shapes and gaps. You can't see the bigger picture. You can't see the whole. And you certainly can't ascertain what the weather is doing. The constant greyness often leaves you blinded when you emerge from the building into full sun.<br />
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We had builders in the flat yesterday checking the heating and pipes and flu line. And the manager had the audacity to go into the bedroom and - failing to find the light switch - come back out asking where the light was in the 'children's room.' Rude. We don't have a second bedroom. We don't have children as I told him earlier. If that was the children's room then where the fuck would we sleep? And really, if he had made any attempt to look with his eyes he would have seen the double bed. Just because it's raised off the floor, doesn't mean it's for a child. Adults can have high beds too, especially when they're dealing with tiny spaces and can have wardrobes and storage space underneath them. My dad made that bed to perfectly fill the space. It's genius!<br />
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I think he realised he'd offended me when I immediately retorted, 'That's our room. We don't have any children and it's the only bedroom.' Where he thought we were hiding the other one I have no idea. To be fair, he was a bumbling mess and probably a few years younger than me, but really, open your eyes dick wad, it's a one bedroom flat.<br />
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It's strange to feel like you're being watched, up on the fifth floor. It was always me taking on the role of observer, photographing the clouds, looking down on the world and listening in to voices that drifted up to us. But now, I am caged and only they can look in. The view is obstructed, the world is changed.<br />
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RantsHelen Richardshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07751277903189017731noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-340054032580358189.post-49104217099101975832018-05-12T15:57:00.001-07:002018-05-12T15:57:22.576-07:00Eurovision 2018It's my favourite time of year. Eurovision is here and with it, the most bizarre staging, costumes, songs and nonsense you're likely to see all year. It's quite an event and Rants is here to take you through it, piece by sparkly piece.<br />
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Cue Graham Norton and the Eurovision theme. Let's go...<br />
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A nice classy opening from Lisbon with their traditional Fado songs.<br />
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1. Ukraine<br />
Fresh from filming the sequel to What we do in the Shadows, please welcome Mr Vampiro. He just rose out of a coffin, which doubles as a piano. He sired all the backing vocalists and then here he is playing on his coffin piano. Ahhhh, the steps are on fire. Call 999 or whatever the number is in Portugal. Those fire balls could take someone's eyes out. Oh wait, does that explain the one creepy contact lense...it's a glass eye.<br />
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2. Spain<br />
Three notes on the piano and I already can't cope. His voice is bad, kinda like a cartoon. Did he swallow a kid? Graham mentioned it might be saccharine but really...vomit! Everywhere! Oh look at us we're so in love. Blurgh. We get it, you're shagging.<br />
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3.Slovenia<br />
So many thighs and crotches on display and a shit tonne of attitude. Has a good beat and she has a great voice, as well as pink hair. She put it out there and that was honestly very good.<br />
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4. Lithuania<br />
She needs to sing a bit better, especially on the low notes. It's way too sickly sweet, I feel like I'm choking on cheap perfume. Bringing your husband on stage: gross!<br />
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5. Austria<br />
Extra in the Hunger Games? Divergent? He definitely just stepped out of a dystopian YA film franchise. Great voice though. Wait for it, oh yes, there it is, the high pitched ball squeezing bit.<br />
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6. Estonia<br />
She's freakin' opera Elsa. She's going to break into Let it Go. A great set of lungs and a ridiculously high voice, but I don't have much else to say.<br />
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7. Norway<br />
This song is terrible. It sounds a bit Will Smith/90s throwback. The lyrics are shit. The dancers are shit. I'd be ashamed if I had to sing something like that. How can you show your face at work on Monday?<br />
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8. Portugal<br />
Pink hair number 2. A cute song and voice, but it became a bit background to our ongoing cheeseboard. I liked the ending when both women sang together. I fear it may be forgotten.<br />
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9. UK<br />
We toasted to Terry Wogan with our Port that we bought in Lisbon last year.<br />
Well done Surie. The crowd seemed to be loving it.<br />
WTF just happened? I question the security of this place. He just took her freakin' microphone.<br />
What a professional. She got on with it. Well done love.<br />
According to twitter, Nigella is outraged at what just happened and the fact that no one has mentioned it.<br />
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10. Serbia<br />
He owns those women. Someone help them escape. There's a wizard on a plinth with a recorder. It's a bit Game of Thrones meets Gladiator.<br />
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11. Germany<br />
That's quite a head of hair. And a nice voice but it's a bit too schmaltzy for my taste. The graphics are making my eyes roll. Though I think at the end he was definitely trying to hypnotise the audience into voting for him.<br />
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12. Albania<br />
A surprisingly good voice. Bit of a rock power ballad going on here. Costumes seem a tad over the top, a bit leathery and fetishy. But I like the Darkness style ending.<br />
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13. France<br />
(Another actual couple) A bit sci-fi costume wise. They could have been extras in the new Star Wars except for the red trainers. Fine but not my cup of tea.<br />
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14. Czech Republic<br />
Oh no, what just happened? He's trying to be Bruno Mars but he looks like Urkel. I did appreciate the choreography with a backpack. Who knew? It was very YA, very teen, and they had a lot of fun. A shout out to my friend Charlotte who loved the braces and immediately messaged me saying Czech Republic to win!<br />
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15.Denmark<br />
I saw these guys during the flag ceremony and had high hopes. The Vikings have landed. I thought they were going to be super metal, however, it was just Westlife stomping around wearing black, having grown long hair and beards.<br />
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16. Australia<br />
I think she caught the netball and can only pivot on one foot. This will do well but it's not for me. She's trying to pretend she actually has a dance routine and is not winging it.<br />
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17. Finland<br />
Great voice and costume. Bit of upside down singing. Lots of hand choreography. I think her four dancers are from Dr Evil's lair. She got a bit pitchy at the end but it was pretty entertaining.<br />
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18. Bulgaria<br />
Starts with Bulgarian Will I Am. It's a bit intense and bro-tastic, but they are totally diverse and they brought a Lady Gaga lookalike with them. Some great voices. This was a good song.<br />
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19. Moldova<br />
Opening and closing doors. It felt like something out of the Ikea catalogue. Oh my, he was taking her from behind. Love triangle in primary colours. Terrifying.<br />
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20. Sweden<br />
Stop gyrating you Beiber wannabe. This was gross and made me pull my face in disgust. Eww. Just eww.<br />
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21. Hungary<br />
LOVE! INSTANT LOVE! Yes! A metal group. Yes.<br />
Energy. Anger. Aggression. Barefoot and screaming. Fire everywhere. And they're having a lovely time. What is not to love?<br />
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22. Israel<br />
The bar in the postcard they showed, we went to and had incredible cocktails. I almost choked on my port, screaming at the TV. Anyhoo, this is spectacular. She needs to win. She made some remarkable sounds and of course acted like a chicken.<br />
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23. The Netherlands<br />
It's all gone country. How Dutch. It's a good song but it doesn't have a chance of winning. It's too American, not Eurovision. Oh, the dancers have gone crazy. They're having a fit.<br />
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24. Ireland<br />
This was very cute. Great voices. Very simple. Dancers acting out a same sex romance. Yes! I hope this does well. One of the only ballads I could cope with.<br />
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25. Cyprus<br />
That costume does not look comfortable. Do the sequins chafe?<br />
Sorry to break it to you, but you're not Beyonce. Your voice is not secure and there are no backing vocals, just everyone singing in unison, because her voice is weak.<br />
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26. Italy<br />
It was a bit intense. Very political and serious. He's just shouting. Not my favourite Italian entry and a bit of a weird one to finish on.<br />
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Well, I have to say there were a few gems but it was all in all a little disappointing this year. And it was a shame that our girl had to cope with a stage invasion. But having just seen the final result, Israel have done it. A true testament to Eurovision. Well done, Netta. You absolute legend.<br />
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I feel like I haven't been as funny this year, but then you can only comment on what you see and there were perhaps one too many ballads and normal pop songs this year and not enough grannies churning butter whilst ice skaters lurk behind you wearing ski masks. I mean, come on Eurovision. We need the nonsense and the absolute monstrosities. Anyhoo we are done for another year.<br />
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This is Rants signing off....<br />
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<br />Helen Richardshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07751277903189017731noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-340054032580358189.post-14088840240226409592018-04-19T02:15:00.000-07:002018-04-19T02:15:09.507-07:00High Waisted Jeans, Multi Sport Championships and Other DistractionsHey there. It's been a while. I'd apologise, but I've been busy. Busy attempting to compile submissions of my latest novel. Busy watching too much Commonwealth Games. Busy writing emails that largely go unread. Busy eating chocolate and putting on weight. You know? Busy!<br />
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Yesterday I got on the Overground train, where there isn't really a crazy rush hour, so it's quite pleasant when you have to take it in what would otherwise be construed as rush hour. And a stop after me, a young woman got on, probably in her mid to late twenties. I moved aside to let her past me - and my giant backpack on wheels that I have to cart all my instruments around in - and she just brushed past this guy stood on the other side of the carriage from me. Just a light brush, nothing really. And anyone travelling in London on any form of transport expects more than a light brush past from their fellow commuters. But he was instantly enraged and he physically shoved her away and told her to fuck off and just stay away from him. The entire carriage turned towards him but he held his ground and she shrank away, though she did say back that she hadn't done anything.<br />
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I asked if she was alright and she was gently carried off by other passengers to stand in a 'safer' part of the train, away from the massive man who could probably crush most of us with his bare hands. Not joking. The guy was super tall and built like a brick wall. And he continued to mutter to himself about not touching him, and just staying away from him.<br />
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And believe me, we were. This huge arc of space opened up around him, which is difficult to achieve on an 8.30 train, even if it's not usually crazy full. Every single woman in the carriage, which was around eighty percent of the carriage, had their eyes on him. If he had made another move, I think at least ten of us would have jumped on him and scratched his eyes out. They looked primed and ready to go. It's certainly one way to bring a bunch of strangers together.<br />
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And at every subsequent stop, there was a communal intake of breath - will he be getting off here and then we can relax? - which had to be let out because he stayed on almost as long as I did. I can honestly say there were a lot of us reading books, but we had one eye on the guy the entire time. Losing yourself in the narrative was not an option.<br />
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Eventually, he started collecting his stuff to leave, and he must have felt the hatred in the eyes that glared at him. He must have been feeling that all along the journey, and he started making his way into the other side of the carriage. Again, all eyes followed. And I saw his head bobbing between people and then a hand raised for a high five. He had gone back to the woman and apologised to her.<br />
And then he got off the train and we let out our collective breath knowing that the threat was gone.<br />
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The apology doesn't get him off the hook. Not in my eyes. I mean, how many times will he do it again? And it could be worse. So much worse. What if that person had been elderly? What if the person had fallen down? What if the person had been pregnant? What if the person had been a child or teenager? However, the fact that he even went over to apologise to her was certainly not something I had expected. Though, perhaps the force of a hundred or so eyes staring you down the entire journey could physically move you to do something?<br />
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So there you go. Never a dull moment...<br />
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Now, I need to vent about high waist jeans. They are uncomfortable as fuck! If you sit down in them, they shove themselves, button first, into your stomach reserves. And just try eating in them, you'll wish you were in your pyjamas. I'm telling you. All my jeans have always sat on the hip and have been wide leg or flared - I still shun the skinny and always will. However, the only flared jeans you can get now are high waist and super uncomfortable. I long for the early 00s again, when jeans were fabulous.<br />
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And I know the chocolate eating doesn't help, but they make me feel confined and give me really bad trapped wind. Yes, I said it. They're uncomfortable and restrictive and it's such a shame because I bought two pairs. I do really like the way they look but I feel like I'll have to lose half a stone to be able to wear them remotely comfortably, and only when stood up. They are a standing jean. most definitely. Most of the time if I'm sat down the button is open. At the cinema, in the house, the button is open. Well, in the house I often give up and go and put on comfy trousers or pyjama bottoms.<br />
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I really wouldn't have coped with the time of corsets would I? I like to be able to breath and move and sit and walk and eat comfortably. I hate feeling squashed or restrained. Ah well, with this nice weather, I'll more like be in my shorts and they're super comfy. Hooray!<br />
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I miss the Commonwealth Games, though on the other hand, I'm glad it's over, because there were way too many distractions. If it wasn't the first five days of Gymnastics, then it was the next five days of Athletics. And if it wasn't either of those, then it was Netball and Beach Volleyball and Hockey and Swimming and Diving - really, where do they put their willies in those teeny shorts? - and if you're really procrastinating, you'll even get involved in the Lawn Bowls. Yes, there I said it. I became involved in the Lawn Bowls. Don't judge me. I just love a multi sport championship, clearly even more than writing my synopses. Well obviously. I freakin' hate writing synopses. And the fact that every agent wants a different length is just about killing me. I have to make four different synopses and I have yet to write one. Yay!<br />
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And so, I sit here and write this blog - yet another distraction, but a welcome one - whilst men in high- vis vests stomp by my window, on the fifth floor, because of the annoying scaffolding that will be up until September. My view is blocked. The sunlight is blocked and they have put some weird blue netting up, which is great in that no one can get in from the outside, but it also completely warps the view and the reality of the sky outside. And they drill and they stomp and they sometimes sing, and they peer in through the windows, but I can't always have them closed. I need some natural light.<br />
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Last thing. And I know I complain about this every time a friend of mine has a kid, but the card situation and the gender being determined by blue and pink has to stop! I liked lots of cards but they were specifically for a baby boy, just because they had elements of blue on them, and my friends have just had a girl. Now, we all know my hatred for the colour pink, but this just fuels it. And so, I had to search for a card with other colours, different wording and eventually found one with a big yellow sun that said: Welcome Little One. Is that so hard? Thank you Caroline Gardner, courtesy of Paperchase.<br />
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Alas, I must go. Parent emails will not write themselves, though I would bloody love if it they did. And then I must Synopsisise - I'm just make words up now - because they certainly don't write themselves either.<br />
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Thanks for reading.<br />
Enjoy the sunshine.<br />
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Rants<br />
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<br />Helen Richardshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07751277903189017731noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-340054032580358189.post-37514578967424887572018-01-26T03:08:00.001-08:002018-01-26T03:08:41.061-08:00More Tales from the UndergroundHello Readers. How is January treating you? I know it can be a sucker punch of a month, when you're already feeling a little larger than usual after the Christmas celebrations, and tired of the rain and cold, and stupid storms with ridiculous names - which I guess they give them in order to humanise them, and then you have a name to yell as you shout to the skies and curse them for all eternity. And that return to work or study or school is like going out into said, absurdly named storm, wearing only underwear, but still, the year has to start somewhere, right?<br />
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In this rant I'd like to tell you about two things that happened on the tube this week. I am using the tube and trains a lot more than I used to do, and thankfully, the 46 bus less and less. We all know how I feel about that stringy turd of a bus route.<br />
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And so, I'll start with the annoying thing that happened to me yesterday. I was sat reading my <i>Italian Short Stories for Intermediate Readers </i>book - oh yes, I'm intermediate now. Whoop. Though I still have to underline a lot of words and circle things in a WTF does that mean sort of way - when two women sat either side of me and as the train moved off, they both encroached on me with their elbows, taking over both arm rests and caging me in. I'm not sure how they expected me to make myself any smaller. It was like I wasn't even there. Rude.<br />
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I tried to fight back, silently, by rearranging myself and trying to fan out my elbows a bit, but the territory had been staked. I mean, I expect this from men, but women of the world, I thought we were together in solidarity. I thought we looked out for one another. If you start this, then there's no escape. I will be forever trapped between other people's elbows. Though I can't really ask women to stop this because men do it all the time and I'm all about equality. But hey, stop it! All of you. I need space too.<br />
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And then to the wonderful thing that happened on Wednesday. I was reading my Sylvia Plath <i>Letters Home</i> book, though it's more of a brick, and some guy taps me on the shoulder and gestures for me to take out my ear buds. I oblige and then we have a lovely conversation about the book and about Plath and how incredible she was, and how young, and how tragic it was. And people say nobody talks to each other in London and we hate strangers and we all keep to ourselves and it's unfriendly and a hostile place to live. And I say, bugger off.<br />
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Yes, people mainly keep to themselves, but that could be for any number of reasons and when you do have these moments with complete strangers, bonding over a pair of incredible shoes, or a haircut that you think is gorgeous and you just have to tell the person, or you notice someone reading a book by an author you love, or you see someone writing sheet music whilst sat on the floor of the train and you want to comment, then these moments become even more special.<br />
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Thank you book guy. And please everyone, watch those elbows. I have as much right to arm rests as you do.<br />
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Just a short one today. Thanks for reading.<br />
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RantsHelen Richardshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07751277903189017731noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-340054032580358189.post-39179737174188504072018-01-04T05:28:00.000-08:002018-01-04T05:28:48.005-08:00A Year of Running: 2017This blog was supposed to be written over the Christmas break in between Italian feasts and northern delights, but unfortunately it didn't happen.<br />
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For those of you that don't know, 2017 was a big fundraising year for me. I set myself a challenge to run ten x ten kilometre runs over the course of the year, with the extra challenge of getting under ten hours time for the lot. As always my fundraising was for the wonderful Nordoff-Robbins Music Therapy Charity. And I was hoping to make around £300 towards the incredible work they do there, transforming lives through music. <a href="https://www.nordoff-robbins.org.uk/">https://www.nordoff-robbins.org.uk/</a><br />
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I had finished 2016 with a new PB of 57.02 and was desperate to continue my fast streak, and so my first run of the year was a chilly Saturday morning in Victoria Park and it turns out I run quite fast when it's cold but calm.<br />
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<u><b>Race 1: Victoria Park Saturday 14th January 2017: The One Where I got a PB!</b></u><br />
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With my musical socks, skirt and scarf on, and a banner on my back explaining my fundraising goals, I set off wearing number 1333 for my first run of the year. Sadly, my charity t-shirt was hidden underneath the long sleeved layer I had to wear as it was a trifle cold that morning. But I was wearing it.<br />
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And so, with no kilometre markers, only mile markers, and a three lap course, I set off feeling confident and just wanting to get under the hour. As I passed the mile markers, I realised I was actually going quite fast and tried to keep up the pace. This was the run where I actually realised that 10 km is not 6 miles, it's actually 6.2 miles - I know, I've done a lot of these races and should have noticed that sooner, but when you deal with kilometre markers then you just don't question it. And so, I actually passed through 6 miles at about 54 minutes, not realising that I had another 0.2 of a mile to go. Anyhoo, I crossed the line in 56.18, smashing my previous PB and making a great start to the challenge.<br />
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1 race down, 9 to go and currently 3.42 under time. Whoop!<br />
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With my medal and banana at the finish. Happy Helen.<br />
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<u><b>Race 2: Lee Valley Velopark Saturday 25th February 2017: The One That Broke Me</b></u><br />
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I knew this race would be tough, as I had run the Velopark mile before as part of the Newham Anniversary Run, which runs every year in July to mark the anniversary of the 2012 Olympic games. There are a lot of ups and downs and it would be six laps of the same mile course, with those extra 0.2 of a mile at the beginning.<br />
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What I hadn't factored in was that we were being visited by various storms that week. I think it was the tail end of Doris and the beginning of Ewan, which made an already tough course, even tougher. And the only flat, straight bit, had the wind pushing against you. This run was not fun. I was not happy. The least said, the better.<br />
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<img height="200" src="https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C5gwDJLXQAEzqIp.jpg" width="150" /><br />
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I hadn't even brought my phone with me to take a photograph, but a lovely fellow runner, pinned my fundraising message on my back and sent me this photo on twitter. Thank you for that.<br />
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However, with a time of 61.25. Boo! And extremely sore legs, this was definitely one to forget.<br />
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2 runs down, 8 to go and currently 2.17 under target.<br />
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<b><u>Run 3: Hyde Park Sunday 26th March 2017: The One That Felt Really Tough</u></b><br />
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The only picture I have from this run is a professional photo that I bought afterwards. Usually I don't bother but look at me beating all those men. Ha ha. Anyway, you'll have to take my word for it. I was cold, I was tired and it felt much longer than two 5 km laps, but I made it in 58.36 and it was good to be back under the hour.<br />
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3 down, 7 to go and currently 3 minutes 41 under time.<br />
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<u><b>Run 4: Peckham 10 km Saturday 6th May 2017: The One With That was Badly Organised</b></u><br />
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Oh dear this run was badly organised. From the mile long queues to be told your running number, only to then have to queue to pick up your physical number, to the quest to find which tree was the start line, this was an interesting one. No official timing, so I had my timing watch and some very inconsistent kilometre markers.<br />
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<img aria-label="Photo - Landscape - May 6, 2017, 10:38:28 AM" class="SzDcob" height="150" jsname="uLHQEd" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/ZY5Ah7WyLxb7M0GAlWIESvoBnfWJJ6Y6ECClapn_WDFziD_VA6-4t_n7bRXlicNrcdhjIXamH-P6FnZfKYItIG0wHPcQeWF10W76dB9N7r8c7UQPVesQkbhX1NdaH2xE7kUQvWIXjxbIAkKjs4phKm91zZSqLZmlzBM932ccsouwzvA2UPln_FCTQnGJCjQ1XM63TUlXzT0FhDmRDOCs-HqEbQdlIULw2NclexHsIuVRpIah_Acsle_T1z79WxCoUSBm3VNvNPSpFxyYZ-dYVluvMXQHHeLIW61gej85yDvS6fkHEM4DH0Y_M-DfPUSWh0kJQNHSu6yQQ5ylecohmjQzFLmn8qpWhV-cCYkJN49qlb7p82YGJ6KEQLTDyGGoQSGuXbHTTFnWjiLkDVKoVDxH57_Yq-M5PCUNrNHiLYmAXtO93iQCUr7YH-UUA4oS8hZVKF5sInmzTfHuY_z23JHvUQrhNCcGKc4zZ8e5g3CcP3uckQrKEzGer_TbZCe2Knj5_dQnGkx8FvyPu2XZDmBaMaloJEb_Ocf-bywfUHjh9LLJrwsKeS3VZ-WJxz9Tgh-O-IX2IbGnZe3HCsaMpWNLiLEmuLisG_76wsFx=w764-h573-no" width="200" /> Apparently this tree is the start line. Who knew?<br />
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<img aria-label="Photo - Portrait - May 6, 2017, 11:39:43 AM" class="SzDcob" height="200" jsname="uLHQEd" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/gzkphgg0LNKVf3kPXzQY7x7rwRouxJro4tHSYDTwvjC_H36i7XRVzHaDb3LdTGsuL9uZD8DePdQyZQppGy6A9eTwSF0_WMTdgprEkJNNGWqAnaNXAGvhnxM-4TsxEK0Dcd5hjUUpB85UToR0BpwF54I7bKE0BsU30SDMKU9AcJfcvuV-_YdlOXt-Vxfu99dg8fDawa2OajlXsTFLkIthWINyX8aZApiehcwZGbFbOITJT8kIdQ-lJ658QRvN7I4iBIDVrfbL8jkBgt-ZAyu8e9LRdzD1h-lyei012xSI_g0kxW3Df7K1na4NVoXA30d6jlGzArmYgXyyMw8BRofKboxOGYqDPtnwBtAu2DlcDtaTothgJa9a_tRhU-KEzCF0BrFExeZXNqzXWgykUC2JFoePXYhKjr6puqUWCO901-kgbaqpYHGuddt8l_x-lpyHSUD8vZuA3fS0RMRvLjUc7tyGJHjp6gFHKk2BjOSlOjFfg4b6ZC7tcuDRI0Bg61JfhX1FeHx5-ExZ2bGy4TLzq7JJuLmfl5H5bjK8nL6NTUpqcyhdy5FkvSmHAR-TzAHMRYRkaEkm3hiPNSg6TS2CyL-Zg6Hm2vWsIboPWABd=w430-h573-no" width="150" /><br />
Here's me on the sprint finish.<br />
<img aria-label="Photo - Portrait - May 6, 2017, 11:55:33 AM" class="SzDcob" height="200" jsname="uLHQEd" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/QugYBfuCojXfSIwquRjgqVD8uhPzYjnB5QgyBZIZzujPTuoVidb5iOgfxug_wOwckb3IeSsKlw1g-G5voTPYTn6H6ayMBXD7PozfR5FMhSSh23_on_7fW4pUQys803gihJJHICWe5gb1VYVKsHR4U56kaWJ5BYVPJI1XXtIFPFeHDkTmXWZNFO8TTBYl7dr3_BVuNr500MtdyrJDDUBTF42Qeif3qAfGXdf7OSAc6Y8BEWzcJH5aWG4FJB4mV9-lSynTwYO9dmIyeqpN99O352CpjeoVC-BY7SKkA4QZcmr_LevlX26utNHO5ILEKnffHg5cx2z3w2_w3-i2udQEJLfmOmux7mrvRF-sm29iS9_59E1EKFwVUhBv8UUJ_TtEq0eE0lkskF94FwrDMBeFtTR3drd4DDwYiGuw7vxIBMnR9VQgVSwJxCSCBvIXU7L-ISnAUEyybVYAmKzFC0JY5grqPSg8AaW3EqgAiJcZXlOhuyr203mm46T5q-mlIkLs_7wLjh8sUlXsHo1WkhgY5E9-HgA5z33uyBg0KpFEhVqP9dMAzskGjz4tJZL49xTndkyolvF_lZ3egaaL3lmYm-S8yIGJGtjI3pSAJ3lD=w431-h573-no" style="transform: translate3d(0px, 0px, 0px) rotate(0deg);" width="150" /> And here's me and partner after finishing. I'm not going to lie to you, I prefer running alone. But on a day like that it was lovely to have someone to vent frustrations with and laugh it out.<br />
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4 down, 6 to go and currently 5.11 under time.<br />
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<u><b>Race 5: Vitality 10,000 Green Park Monday 29th May 2017: The One Where I was Ill</b></u><br />
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I love the Vitality 10,000 run every Bank Holiday at the end of May. I run it every year regardless of whether I am fundraising. I love the course, which is fast and mostly flat. I love the big event feeling. And despite feeling terribly ill and knowing I probably shouldn't run, I did anyway. And I am so glad I did! Finishing in 58.27 without the ability to breathe through my nose, was definitely an achievement and of course I will be back there this year at my favourite run.<br />
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<img aria-label="Photo - Portrait - May 29, 2017, 11:32:16 AM" class="SzDcob" height="200" jsname="uLHQEd" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/sW_LrMsTLWQ5MDbQGeAmpMojFp4SHNybTttoSu0_ZK-rMfTYeD_sMUXKzMCkf0Rpwuiil3jJddMSCZv9d3wtvYb5Ul3HmQ6Zs83Sm-8OPsygInATGQyPXfyMXrBiBvUqM4QXgxTeI-AYlsyIxqmuMqG8eCT-OlC1DN7MWhu35Aum40BjCEQsQN5QoPw-yzEZBVTibKb71oCKaFANa2MKr0OjUOBPYBOlcH1C4dHyiELEhZj-9iLLeFGL5L6ecqLEiRwU0nyF332hFzqQh-z6vBBP60LHBf5lYYUufBS-HiHFTZ4vXXwsi5yVciIxnSIgdq0SCyaAwjzSzNQf8S9ZMsLEDWCXkl3e6tT4R7KCifLXmcPWokTgzVz2D6oUMZSMgZSV_EQpy3Kgv6NghCm7JJuA7_roSs7zuq44nsSM-jP1nI0qvCzyVkPjMuxaSn-wQymwJGLG2bZYt4ENhsrs0YWiF8jc20L7tSyLfYjOw35_qSuCsBwRDy1zqMRDYJA0giQUG4bzDiLSzSdA_DkbpmGUjOi-kaoKYv03jNs8bQ35d2bi42_NvChMR9mS51P3mB3RFTvwKsTLpbKPDXMuFtfCk8l0ihllDcrrzH8P=w430-h573-no" style="transform: translate3d(0px, 0px, 0px) rotate(0deg);" width="150" /><br />
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5 down, 5 to go and currently 6.44 under time. Half way!<br />
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<b><u>Race 6: Turks Head 10 km Sunday 11th June 2017: The One That was Extremely Hot</u></b><br />
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I was supposed to run this race with a friend and then my partner, but due to illnesses and other reasons, I ran it alone. And they called it a fun run, but for me it was anything but fun, it was about times and the challenge and waiting minutes to cross foot bridges, and on one of the hottest days of the year so far, I found myself melting.<br />
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To finish with a time of 60.01 was actually quite impressive as I had to wait at various river bridge crossings and at times we were running in the roads dodging traffic and other runners as the pavements were super narrow. But it was definitely a change from the hyper organised Vitality run.<br />
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<img aria-label="Photo - Portrait - Jun 11, 2017, 11:03:22 AM" class="SzDcob" height="200" jsname="uLHQEd" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/FfBB8wXWo0PfMDv2qE5ObK5aiNdw2DryJmblIEgTesbMNsB3hqtMmCIL3RU0rDc3-rGxazJ0O6Q7PysVirRSX6Q0alRK489Nzd4tCUExLzWVT3naLqri6iTN2LhuPohcaZ6k1KVvDzddTWcH9Qs9OPortNDUUOx1qbmHuof8_41X3FjGU0aVaoeIbgciE5XTQoZuEj2Yd6HOyTFCAQA31wsZZrVZp-4zQ4t5paBojynaBtyCUsfSSvGYhJX0E_08q3cRjXn-BhWFixWBs8e6LGfTBNb7sBXnGsw_U7Z-azhnx9oYmrUcVhzVnx_-DH_oq52EUWE4voWCVWMNy4VYMsN_VwrmfQ1RcRLjb293PLB9qOezn4FttwWmD8fJNRSEUHfU8keaJa9PcY5QVIT601i59UFiFciWaoK8WmnFqA82SHemehLRWALGjfYtoHiwrmczjQheHDwUBxNDaLIWNZFuoRB2DeSC7-QF32DFDjWiWjfThsKQ5rz00KljEdGxEi_MegE_IF22fU9b8e_ZvUT52W2yBOGkoyliueq-7cFGFnRHPuF_-GxizOW-jNum830nXHJ_Q3WxBRQz7TsEP2ftw5X9-lTn_JfmTGAp=w430-h573-no" width="150" /><br />
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6 down, 4 to go and currently 6.43 under target.<br />
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<b><u>Race 7: Newham Anniversary Run Sunday 2nd July 2017: The One Where I was Over the Moon</u></b><br />
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I have run this race four times out of the five it has been run, and I have always struggled due to the heat and that pesky mile in the Velopark, but this year I finally made it under an hour, and not just under an hour: 57.52. I was delighted! And we usually finish in the Olympic stadium by running 300 metres on the track, but as they were preparing for the Para World Athletics we instead sprinted the 100 metres. Usain Bolt eat your heart out.<br />
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7 down, 3 to go and currently 8.51 under time. Whoop!<br />
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<b><u>Race 8: Lee Valley Velopark (Again) Saturday 30th September 2017: The One Where I Defeated the Velopark</u></b><br />
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Believe me, I did not want to brave the Velopark races again. It is an evil course and I still had the lingering memory of February's race in my mind. However, due to various weekend commitments, I had few other options and so I braved the Velopark for the second time.<br />
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This time I had a little sunshine and a bit of wind but no storms chasing me. And I smashed that course finishing in 57.13 which was my third fastest time ever at a 10 km. Yes! Yes! Yes!<br />
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8 down, 2 to go and currently 11.36 under time.<br />
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<b><u>Race 9: Virtual Run Hampstead Heath: Sunday 22nd October 2017: The One Where I Smashed my PB</u></b><br />
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You might be thinking, virtual run? What? It was purchased for me by a friend for my birthday and I had to run in October and prove I had run a certain distance in order to claim the medal, which was a Nightmare Before Christmas themed medal with Jack Skellington on it. Cool or what? So I used a GPS timing watch and set off on Hampstead Heath, with no clear race path, and just kept going until we hit 10 km. (My partner was with me.)<br />
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I knew we had set off fast but I had no idea how fast until we completed just over 10 km in 55.32. Say what?!<br />
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<img aria-label="Photo - Portrait - Oct 22, 2017, 12:32:39 PM" class="SzDcob" height="200" jsname="uLHQEd" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/a927DccBobAY9u4Yu-kWuy_zTNSpatHf3llxtAaz47qmfC4eUV2k_HQMZGA377LoF_pB__6H4R81eQg9KL83yD6VNJsBiWk7Oh9u9-CtEkKp4vmTMhBcfpGLHvD7EdAuQCrNXjeR9xNm-Y4NwCt0tL7N-sDPzEe34Lytfjd0zHszqn40g2L6nWFo9E9VBFQHp_1jqmfDqa4-5Yu6bz-XEnCOOkgu0CuUpr1nIQ-s_3sjrubuWF8VV2V0DIWAadUVekPkuNr3ZBa8f6xOGLvL_OgqtyN1aaL4GfPOHtQBTKQgzm8MaXtmYg1DBH2qFxFaXnsour6BpkKYL8j3OJD2Ar1WIrLd5yREFvymTEgL4lMBprBACRr3D3CdAV8tr-Qw2zBWY_vTcUzVuOFc0SWbOpi3licAx9MbrmkHlNj5mhDH328C3AtYkOelh6gqwYaS8jYbf5eHu7LXLCKOKmD63ROoEDboKO8kjqgQJmZE8e_29zJCHWwrw1id2AYRO0A-VtCViIBBDqYN2NlqLCjbWNLdauD1NdCqVSyCcKKTTiCCDYCkzMMEm9lZM2hMvcpj6OWLq4Wlq4LLOF7OeAoLKDl2ypVHtaS0iJ1KzXHl=w430-h573-no" style="transform: translate3d(0px, 0px, 0px) rotate(0deg);" width="150" /> <img aria-label="Photo - Portrait - Oct 22, 2017, 12:40:06 PM" class="SzDcob" height="200" jsname="uLHQEd" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/2MnjFabs9jQzqu3hwAFDoSKsqaV9mrkZBENO2-9q9CTyNku5LOvWf3UYIAn7uHQgahzf0-dBgS8ov8ddRQ5-danxZmxdUHb6oZzCzZW9oOh_6pi9oyMX4lfbLSRGB3M732SXM9Pt9rSgdjDOgQ0fzqMcjhBb1Z7kp6csSf-GB_Wx6-U_cXoizkVMWPs9jjVEdhYjVj5TccFimLIJROuk8S4WNlxLvoIFvroj-SwnAvv2MpVOMErQLERBmUBXiowhjR7b-RMhbH_C7dCDz0UbbaoehRFo8QrM7O2pSSuHDYi4Z3Wh_zPCQfdZOmgXAzYin5D0jl7OzDt84syo-a52cE5yF7bBZH-uS0k9LvCgSMarEUSg0UhtIJuX3MLrb4FVfkO4vEtxYd0Q_Whv3jpSzfvna_ZZ7DAPC7CrI7vbmZkMV_rYp8DS9DzzZM2RuCxTEw-Q0D26CIZ1uaOL6ha2Q8qRM2R2BOMPCgDZLe4ZgpWrl324HRG9Q3hte0pTpuRoidoWlw9ZQVnFvRaXTJ-if2r7NFt9NIJjRIKX4wudHIAS0pM2FH7ZtuEecmi42s0Ck3xw39xDfkD5YNwKvIF5a27njsC1-Fc0j1_OUDgP=w323-h573-no" width="112" /><br />
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9 down, 1 to go and currently 16.04 under target. Yes!<br />
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Normally, I would have run the Trick or Treat Halloween run as part of my challenge, however this year they changed it to a 5 km race. Boo! But anyhoo, I got a new PB at 5 km (26.02) after a night out - not too shabby - and here is a picture of me dressed as a pumpkin.<br />
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<img aria-label="Photo - Landscape - Oct 28, 2017, 1:50:55 PM" class="SzDcob" height="150" jsname="uLHQEd" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/5wcoNpFrhpmg3nDAGQk3RS1L2no605TcDQrre1CvscDY8aAibnQN4O5iXsn-Y3ZRAFEZ62ze3kajP3kPvXQjHs_lCAGtJrYB3rbrqeinCHIsoz2uUqW6qmI8uZ95kbV1r_oYLp86M9L1TSb1EnyZZS92e0mEwhyk77y0V_41qF0GeSH3ce1gbGJUVlGRj--ozsuiujqa8i0xe53cHf4NQHrhG8tQNrQNzDxEm8dHTtoUiGSCK0dvwZlggOJB2mxvELh--zG0HxmuSqfjwXD8M-T2Xl8bt0dyBMrv1MhbvK2y1knxEVT7ELedlOp6g9V6O2yOTKsOpmldNgPiocHFhajvAxEyDQY4tXTdiDVRwvDxZDmVkajjTWPmX1IZErlCfUa19D4w2YUinev31hAaeB5ouWjPX55Os8AhxsyvYmCPI4iOsc14jlFwJlnHunYb17SxUl_nxDwe-mQ2gSqWQxe9Tk9Mr9IlOapMhbZ76IOIbIElqe6jqgGWaqpxHLg28gNGePhnCUMMr04Jxx57wTUV7p7J089Yd7VyspVbEZSYGPTcUZfOwI6G2tVUMqKqUaDiSlKIy8DBuuGadrcmAWqG4r4_wSYt3K2qxbL_=w764-h573-no" style="transform: translate3d(0px, 0px, 0px) rotate(0deg);" width="200" /> <img aria-label="Photo - Portrait - Oct 28, 2017, 2:07:54 PM" class="SzDcob" height="200" jsname="uLHQEd" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/HG4Xt7go0eyqoVOw3Waq9SIsmfSWJXpaMw8PY20Sr6Bl2GXFBWnrBIaqM47szas-hhjLXi7JgOHqjHkRIx5JZquQnxAuwwCcVnOuCGRX_X66l2qZm9UKdXiHZJDCFIRPXrmst6Al2kmZDKVQA-GBM7Ve_t_wxa4EjOzp8Ynui1gk-LpA97XrctpdS1RsRj0pwfLz8ggW0HL9XIU7Qkr6wvEHEu1KBnlBTR6sxAsKbKGO7lmkYzCwYdqx5XUaUu4ImOXHfPHwCFhNxoeVVYrvrR0GR71O-94-grT4sIr-gpoTxiwHhUcJt_5jndid4oVtuq5n30-R4yI6PzzAOf-TOqAVA39QJiguR-84Ctj4WLHGcy_wejfqJ_N5i1_vXPFKopbr3AdEPbTupHBMjWBBdt6lqLiPFUSr1cyBiyP_XoVPi05wYR_ImSFNFNkoI_EiSoVLdTIgHtYUNps6JJUazLpZYxVnMWCLlsyN_shTj4_qDAIsqGFfhzvWqyxQbCaBmBd002fI_DRtcY6n4bGBoZGE-a_x2TJCmE5AUwvfiRPUoqmCEajeL3ZK9fR1_F8OjgukMkdj81x83gwzg3q0GJ8nsbR9Gs5hbFwCTo2J=w430-h573-no" style="transform: translate3d(0px, 0px, 0px) rotate(0deg);" width="150" /><br />
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<u><b>Race 10: Olympic Park Sunday 10th December 2017: The One Where it Snowed </b></u><br />
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And so to the final race of the year and I was back at one of my favourite places in London: Olympic Park. This was the course I had run last year and gained a huge PB at, and so I was confident and also knew I had a lot of leeway with the time. However, I did not counter in the snow factor.<br />
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My feet were soggy throughout. The slush and wet floor was slippery, and even the tube failed us, so I only arrived five minutes before the start. I had just enough time to pin on my number and go. No warm up, no stretches. Eek.<br />
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It snowed the entire time and my feet were practically numb, but actually running in the snow was tough but fun. I had never run in the snow before and I even met an elf along the way who had a nice chat with me.<br />
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To finish in under an hour, in those conditions was a proud moment, and not only that, but the end of my challenge for the year. And I smashed it! Finishing that race in 58.43 meant that after 10 races, my culminated time was 9 hours 42 minutes 39 seconds, which was 17.21 under target.<br />
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<img alt="Image may contain: 3 people, people smiling, people standing and outdoor" height="213" src="https://scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/24909559_859473420893677_1293834488453179800_n.jpg?oh=3cb2a43729376bcc2afe16afa96e105e&oe=5AB622A9" width="320" /><br />
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I would like to do a huge shout out to <a href="http://www.runthrough.co.uk/">http://www.runthrough.co.uk/</a> who are a fantastic race organising team and four of my ten charity runs were taken care of by them. They are fantastically run and always full of helpful, supportive volunteers. I love my banana after the race and all the great themed medals.<br />
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Also, a huge shout out to the Vitality 10,000 which is a wonderful run that I take part in every year. If you like a big race and want to feel part of something huge, then the course is flat and fast and so well organised. I love it. <a href="https://www.vitalitylondon10000.co.uk/">https://www.vitalitylondon10000.co.uk/</a><br />
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Finally, I raised a whopping £354.94 for Nordoff-Robbins and would like to thank all my sponsors and friends who have supported me along the way. What a great year of running and I may be getting older, but I seem to be getting faster too. Bring on 2018!<br />
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<a href="https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/Helen-Richards16">https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/Helen-Richards16</a><br />
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Thank you for reading.<br />
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Rants (Helen)<br />
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<br />Helen Richardshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07751277903189017731noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-340054032580358189.post-5249326033871089662018-01-02T09:33:00.001-08:002018-01-02T09:33:13.885-08:002017: A Year in BooksI finally stopped eating long enough to write my year in books, 2017 blog. It's been a great year of variety in terms of authors and genres. I had my first foray into graphic novels and almost completed a 52 point reading challenge - more on that later. As always, there is a mixture of kindle books, library books, borrowed and bought books. And without further ado, here it is, my year in books.<br />
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Books I read in January:<br />
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<li>The Monstrous Child - Francesca Simon <span style="color: red;">(Reading Challenge: A book based on mythology.)</span></li>
<li><span style="color: blue;">Soulmates - Holly Borne (Kindle)</span></li>
<li>The Winter Over - Matthew Iden (Kindle) <span style="color: red;">(Reading Challenge: A book with one of the four seasons in the title.)</span></li>
<li>Continents - Jim Crace</li>
<li>The Devil's Larder - Jim Crace <span style="color: red;">(Reading Challenge: A book about food.)</span></li>
<li>Harvest - Jim Crace <span style="color: red;">(Reading Challenge: A book with a red spine.)</span></li>
<li>Code Name Verity - Elizabeth Wein <span style="color: red;">(Reading Challenge: A novel set during war time.)</span></li>
<li>Holding up the Universe - Jennifer Niven <span style="color: red;">(Reading Challenge: A bestseller from 2016.)</span></li>
<li>Bridget Jones's Baby - The Diaries: Helen Fielding <span style="color: red;">(Reading Challenge: A book with a title that's a character's name.)</span></li>
<li>Mother MOTHER - Koren Zailckons <span style="color: red;">(Reading Challenge: A book with a family-member term in the title.)</span></li>
<li>Warm Bodies - Isaac Marion (Kindle) <span style="color: red;">(Reading Challenge: The first book in a series you haven't read before.)</span></li>
<li>Evelyn: After - Victoria Helen Stone <span style="color: red;">(Reading Challenge: A book by an author who uses a pseudonym.)</span></li>
</ol>
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As you can see January was a good reading month. For me it is a bleak month and so I usually over compensate by reading a shed load and escaping into as many worlds as I possibly can. It was also a good month for ticking off quite a few of the reading challenges and most of them by fluke. The winner of best book for this month goes to Holly Bourne and her YA book: Soulmates. I love this writer and for me she can do no wrong. </div>
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Books I read in February</div>
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<li>The Cry of the Owl - Patricia Highsmith <span style="color: red;">(Reading Challenge: A book you got from a used book sale.)</span></li>
<li>The Bone Season - Samantha Shannon</li>
<li>The Children Act - Ian McEwan <span style="color: red;">(Reading Challenge: A book from a genre/subgenre that you've never heard of - Religious and inspirational.)</span></li>
<li>Tales from the Shadowhunter Academy - Cassandra Clare, Sarah Rees Brennan, Maureen Johnson and Robin Wasserman <span style="color: red;">(Reading Challenge: A book with multiple authors.)</span></li>
<li>A Tale for the Time Being - Ruth Ozeki <span style="color: red;">(Reading Challenge: A book about a difficult topic.)</span></li>
<li><span style="color: blue;">Beautiful Broken Things - Sara Barnard (Kindle) </span></li>
<li>Fairytales of Gold - Alan Garner <span style="color: red;">(Reading Challenge: A book you loved as a child.)</span></li>
<li>The Radleys - Matt Haig <span style="color: red;">(Reading Challenge: A book you've read before that never fails to make you laugh.)</span></li>
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February was also a good month for the reading challenge and for me it is usually even bleaker than January, so again, escapism is the key to survival. Leading the charge this month is Beautiful Broken Things by Sara Barnard, another YA wonder.<span style="color: red;"> </span></div>
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Books I read in March</div>
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<li>Take the Key and Lock her up (Embassy Row #3) - Ally Carter </li>
<li>Cuckoo - Keren David</li>
<li>Dead of Night - Michael Grant</li>
<li>Wilderness Tips - Margaret Atwood <span style="color: red;">(Reading Challenge: A book set in the wilderness.)</span></li>
<li><span style="color: blue;">Frog Music - Emma Donoghue</span></li>
<li>The Ladybird Book of the Zombie Apocalypse</li>
<li>Omicidio alla Modo - Cinzia Medaglia</li>
<li>Hag-Seed - Margaret Atwood <span style="color: red;">(Reading Challenge: A book that was a story within a story.)</span></li>
<li>The Guilded Cage -Vic James</li>
<li>Flawed - Celia Ahern (Kindle) </li>
<li>A Tale of Two Cities - Charles Dickens (kindle) <span style="color: red;">(Reading Challenge: A book mentioned in another book.)</span></li>
<li>The Doll Funeral - Kate Hamer <span style="color: red;">(Reading Challenge: A book set in two different time periods.)</span></li>
<li>Omicidio in Paserella - Cinzia Medaglia</li>
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March was a good month for Italian short stories and novellas. I ticked off another few reading challenges and enjoyed a nice mix of adult and YA books. I chose Frog Music by Emma Donoghue as my top book of the month. Everything I have read by her, I have really enjoyed. She is a talented author and if you haven't checked her out yet, then I highly recommend you do. </div>
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Books I read in April</div>
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<li>Is it Just me? - Miranda Hart <span style="color: red;">(Reading Challenge: A bestseller from a genre you don't normally read.)</span></li>
<li>We Were Liars - E.Lockhart <span style="color: red;">(Reading Challenge: A book with an unreliable narrator.)</span></li>
<li>Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll <span style="color: red;">(Reading Challenge: A book with am eccentric character.)</span></li>
<li>Black Light Express - Philip Reeve</li>
<li><span style="color: blue;">SAGA Volume 1 - Brian K. Vaughan and Fiona Staples</span> <span style="color: red;">(Reading Challenge: A book with pictures.)</span></li>
<li>To the Lighthouse - Virginia Woolf</li>
<li>Fire Colour One - Jenny Valentine</li>
<li>Boneshaker - Cherie Priest <span style="color: red;">(Reading Challenge: A steampunk novel.)</span></li>
<li>Italian Short Stories for Beginners Volume 2 - Olly Richards</li>
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I like the mix of books I read in April, from comedy/autobiography to steampunk, to treasured classics and more YA wonders. But the pinnacle of the month was my first delve into the world of graphic novels with SAGA Volume 1. The illustrations are incredible and whilst you get through each volume at the speed of light, you can't wait for the next one. Thank you to my friend for recommending I start there. The author/illustrator combination is amazing and long may they continue this saga. </div>
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Books I read in May</div>
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<li>SAGA Volume 2 - Brian K. Vaughan and Fiona Staples</li>
<li>SAGA Volume 3 - Brian K. Vaughan and Fiona Staples</li>
<li>Black Moon - Kenneth Calhoun</li>
<li>Release - Patrick Ness <span style="color: red;">(Reading Challenge: A book written by someone you admire.)</span></li>
<li>Charm and Strange - Stephanie Kuehn</li>
<li>The House on Stone's Throw Island - Dan Poblocki</li>
<li><span style="color: blue;">Lost and Found - Brooke Davis</span> <span style="color: red;">(Reading Challenge: A book by an author from a country you've never visited.)</span></li>
<li>How to be an Alien - Mikes and Bentley <span style="color: red;">(Reading Challenge: A book you bought on a trip.)</span></li>
<li>Saint Mazie - Jami Attenberg <span style="color: red;">(Reading Challenge: A book about an interesting woman.)</span></li>
<li>Lady Midnight (TDA #1) - Cassandra Clare (Re-read)</li>
<li>Morte in Maratona - Cinzia Medaglia</li>
<li>Lord of Shadows (TDA #2) - Cassandra Clare</li>
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May became my hardback-obsessive month. Six of the twelve titles were read in hard back (4-9 on the list) and I just really enjoyed reading them. I always take the paper cases off, which often reveals a very sexy hard cover. There is always an air of excitement surrounding a Cassandra Clare new release and she did not disappoint. And the same with Patrick Ness. You can imagine how giddy I was having both of their new releases this month. However, the top honours go to Lost and Found by Brooke Davis, which I found in the local book shop in Kentish Town, on sale, and I loved it. The characters are so unique and eccentric and there is so much emotional depth and humour in it. I deeply recommend this book. </div>
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Books I read in June</div>
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<li>Jackdaw Summer - David Almond</li>
<li>Go Set a Watchman - Harper Lee</li>
<li>The Power - Naomi Alderman <span style="color: red;">(Reading Challenge: A book recommended by an author you love.)</span></li>
<li><span style="color: blue;">My Name is Leon - Kit de Waal</span> <span style="color: red;">(Reading Challenge: A book where the main character is a different ethnicity than you.)</span></li>
<li>Dolce Vita - A. De Guili and C.M Naddeo</li>
<li>The Waves - Virginia Woolf</li>
<li>Jacob's Room - Virginia Woolf</li>
<li>Un Amore per la tua Cucina - Cinzia Medaglia</li>
<li>Surfacing - Margaret Atwood</li>
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June was a really tough month for choosing a favourite book. David Almond is always up there and with Harper Lee's triumphant sequel and women taking over the world in The Power, it was tough, tough, tough. But eventually, I chose the lovely, lovely, Leon. This book is heart breaking and so beautifully written, you can't help but fall in love with Leon. Thank you Kit de Waal for creating him. He's a superstar!</div>
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Books I read in July</div>
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<li>Eats, Shoots and Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation - Lynne Truss <span style="color: red;">(Reading Challenge: A book with a subtitle.)</span></li>
<li>The Beneath - S.C. Ransom</li>
<li>Shadowmagic - John Lenahan <span style="color: red;">(Reading Challenge: A book involving a mythical creature.)</span></li>
<li><span style="color: blue;">The Robber Bride - Margaret Atwood</span></li>
<li>Lady Killer (in Italian) - Joelle Jones and James. S. Rich</li>
<li>The Stone Gods - Jeanette Winterson</li>
<li>Heartbreak Hotel - Deborah Moggach <span style="color: red;">(Reading challenge: A book set in a hotel.)</span></li>
<li>Demon Dentist - David Walliams <span style="color: red;">(Reading Challenge: A book with a cat on the cover.)</span></li>
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July saw me read my first David Walliams book, lent to me by the eight year old I pick up from school twice a week. He is also a voracious reader, which is nice. We have lots to talk about. It was a good month for the reading challenge and me improving my Italian. The winner of July was The Robber Bride by Margaret Atwood, lent to me by one of my favourite people on the planet. it's about women and relationships and it is classic Atwood. I love her. </div>
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Books I read in August</div>
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<li><span style="color: blue;">Gender Games - Juno Dawson</span></li>
<li>Chasing the Stars - Malorie Blackman <span style="color: red;">(Reading Challenge: A book by a person of colour.)</span></li>
<li>The Graces - Laure Eve (Kindle)</li>
<li>The One Memory of Flora Banks - Emily Barr (Kindle) <span style="color: red;">(Reading Challenge: A book involving travel.)</span></li>
<li><span style="color: blue;">Caraval - Stephanie Garber (Kindle)</span></li>
<li>The Adventures of the Princess and Mr Whipple - Patrick Rothfuss</li>
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I cheated this month. I chose a non-fiction favourite and a fiction favourite. It's my blog and I can do what I like. Gender Games by Juno Dawson is a book about gender and how it screws us up from birth. Not only should every parent and every expectant parent read it, but just all people should read it. Juno executes her tale with her usual northern charm and humour, and punctuates it with plenty of true stories from her rather interesting life. And Caraval is escapism at its best. I loved this fantasy world and would quite happily have leapt in and joined in the game. I look forward to more from Stephanie Garber.</div>
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Books I read in September</div>
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<li>Here's to you Rachel Robinson - Judy Blume</li>
<li><span style="color: blue;">Unconventional - Maggie Harcourt (Kindle)</span></li>
<li>My Name is Lucy Barton - Elizabeth Strout</li>
<li>How to Stop Time - Matt Haig <span style="color: red;">(Reading Challenge: A book that takes place over a character's life span.)</span></li>
<li>When Dimple met Rishi - Sandhya Menon (Kindle)</li>
<li>When Mr Dog Bites - Brian Conaghan <span style="color: red;">(Reading Challenge: A book by or about a person with a disability.)</span></li>
<li>Sweetfreak - Sophia Mckenzie</li>
<li>The Sun is Also a Star - Nicole Yoon (Kindle)</li>
<li>Salem's Lot - Stephen King (Kindle)</li>
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I enjoyed my September reads. It was a great month of horror, love, and laughter. This was another tough month to decide on the best book, but due to the fact that you had to prise my kindle out of my hands in order to go to work, eat and/or sleep, the top honour goes to Maggie Harcourt. I could not put Unconventional down. The characters and the premise were so real and honest. I would quite happily have coexisted with them. I highly recommend this book. </div>
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Books I read in October</div>
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<li>It Only Happens in the Movies - Holly Bourne (Kindle) <span style="color: red;">(Reading Challenge: A book published in 2017.)</span></li>
<li>Amiche per la Pelle (My first full length Italian novel. It took me months to get through it, but I persevered!) - Laila Wadia <span style="color: red;">(Reading Challenge: A book about an immigrant or refugee.)</span></li>
<li>Black Friday - Alex Kava <span style="color: red;">(Reading Challenge: A book with a month or day of the week in the title.)</span></li>
<li>The World's Worst Children - David Walliams</li>
<li>Clockwork Prince (TID #2) - Cassandra Clare (Audiobook) <span style="color: red;">(Reading Challenge: An audiobook.)</span></li>
<li>Pride and Prejudice a Graphic Novel - Austen, Edginton, Deas</li>
<li>Transparent - Natalie Whipple</li>
<li>Under my Hat: Tales from the Cauldron - Edited by Jonathon Strahan</li>
<li>SAGA Volume 4 - Brian K. Vaughan and Fiona Staples</li>
<li><span style="color: blue;">The Hate U Give - Angie Thomas</span></li>
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Ordinarily, on any given month, Holly Bourne would be likely to win best book, but the powerhouse that is Angie Thomas and her incredible novel: The Hate U Give, left everyone waiting in the wings. This book is powerful and real and necessary to the world. I am not giving anything away, you will have to read it to find out. But it is spectacular. </div>
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Book I read in November</div>
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<li><span style="color: blue;">IT - Stephen King (Kindle)</span> <span style="color: red;">(Reading Challenge: A book that's more than 800 pages.)</span></li>
<li>Il Segreto di Julia - Cinzia Medaglia</li>
<li>Halloween Party - Agatha Christie <span style="color: red;">(Reading Challenge: A book set around a holiday other than Christmas.)</span></li>
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You may notice a distinct lack of titles in November and there are a couple of reasons for this. Number one being that IT is over one thousand pages long and takes a good while to read. Also, I was writing a novel myself for NaNoWriMo and had only thirty days to do so, which takes a lot of time and brain power. IT won the month, of course, not that it had much competition. But the level of detail in this book is extraordinary. Man, I would love to sit down with that chap. </div>
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Books I read in December</div>
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<li>Our Kind of Traitor - John le Carre <span style="color: red;">(Reading Challenge: An espionage thriller.)</span></li>
<li>Railsea - China Mieville <span style="color: red;">(Reading Challenge: A book recommended by a librarian.)</span></li>
<li>Black Beauty - Anna Sewell <span style="color: red;">(Reading Challenge: A book from a nonhuman perspective.)</span></li>
<li>Reckless 3: The Golden Yarn - Cornelia Funke <span style="color: red;">(Reading Challenge: A book that's been on your TBR list for way too long.)</span></li>
<li>On Writers and Writing - Margaret Atwood <span style="color: red;">(Reading Challenge: A book with career advice.)</span></li>
<li><span style="color: blue;">The Circle - Dave Eggers</span> <span style="color: red;">(Reading Challenge: A book that's becoming a movie in 2017.)</span></li>
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As you can see, December was all about trying to complete my reading challenge, which I almost did, but sadly I had one challenge I failed to complete, which was to read a book of letters. I have the book, which is letters from Sylvia Plath to her friends and family, but it is a large book with very small print and there was no way I could finish it before the end of the year. But still, 51/52 on the reading challenge and 105 books read altogether is not too shabby, 2017!</div>
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The final winner of the year is The Circle by Dave Eggers which is terrifyingly creepy and so realistic. It is also a film on Netflix, with Emma Watson and Tom Hanks, so you should check it out, but not to be too cliche, the book is way better than the film. They cut out all the sex from the film too. So definitely read the book!</div>
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And that's it, my year in books, which due to a saving error in blogger, I've just had to write out most of it twice. Yay! I just love wasting hours of my life. I hope I have inspired or recommended a book to some of you, or maybe just entertained you enough for you to keep reading. And here's to the next year of reading. Let's hope we find new worlds to visit and new horrors to scare us and new voices to guide us. </div>
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Thanks for reading this, now go and read a book. </div>
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Rants </div>
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Helen Richardshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07751277903189017731noreply@blogger.com0