That World Cup Thing, Torture and Geoff.

It feels that a long time since I blogged. In fact it's over a fortnight. I think I had blog blockage. Eek. feeling rather backed up, so it might all come out in a explosion of rants.

Well, it's that World Cup thing, isn't it? You know, the hope, the despair. Wanting to believe we can do it, but knowing in the back of your mind that in actual fact it's unlikely to happen. But there's always a huge amount of pride to see them donning their England shirts, the three lions a-roaring and that expectation that we are small but mighty, and we can do it. Shame we rarely live up to that.

Man, I've missed that whole screaming at the TV thing though. I get so involved in the game. I'm screaming and hissing, and last night I was gunning for the ref. Some really shitty decisions, like that free kick against Gerrard, which if anything should have been a free kick to Gerrard. I was yelling, 'If they score from this I'm gonna hunt him down and dismember him.' I'm glad they didn't, I really wasn't in the mood for dismemberment. And don't get me started on the Uruguay captain who should've been off in the first half, jammy beggar. As my mum would say, the ref was wearing blue and white underpants. ( I hope you all get that.)

Now as for Rooney, I feel that people should stop tearing him apart. If you want someone to play well and reach his expectations, perhaps slagging him off and demoralising him at every turn may not be the best bet. They already have the weight of the nation on their shoulders, and then being a player like Rooney who plays so well in the Premiership but somehow never seems to realise that in the big tournaments for England, he's gonna be pretty darn stressed. I think he deserves some positive press after last night, and I don't just mean the goal. That second half he was in the mix, creating things, moving and almost made it two. Of course it's a shame he couldn't but I felt like his true grappling spirit came through. And let's face it, there are 10 other players on the pitch, so it can't all be his fault.

They are a young team and they do play well, but there was a lot of miscommunication last night. None of the confidence that we saw in the Italy match, which I was shocked at. I know you have to play with a bit of caution and leave the recklessness at home sometimes, but come on. This was also the only way of guaranteeing we were in with a chance of qualifying. Now we have to pray for Italy to win both matches and then we still have to win the last one with a hefty goal margin. Come on. I like to route for the underdog too, but I think this underdog is going under.

I love you England. You frustrate and you excite and you miss lots and lots of goals, but I love you and you make us proud just by getting to these major tournaments. People may not say it, but they think it. So many nations don't even make it to the World Cup finals, they enjoy a few qualifying defeats and are never seen again till the next one. But England bounce back every time and give us something to hope for. COME ON ENGLAND. Let's get a win in the last game, even if we don't qualify. Let's get some quality goals and have fun and show what we're made of. I feel a Stuart Pearce psycho face coming on. AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

And now for something completely different. How psychotic are children? Oh yes, come on parents you know it as well as I do. They practice torturing toys. I don't know how I haven't really noticed this before, but when role playing with the little kid I pick up from school, I realised how he enjoys torturing his toys. Yes it's make believe but at some point, you kinda think....mmmmmm. So we were pretending to be different animals - as you do - and then a dinosaur came along to try and eat us. Now this dinosaur was of course T-rex and is a big sit on toy, that sometimes doubles up as a dragon. But today it was T-rex come to eat us. I wrestled it off us and pushed it away, but that wasn't enough. Little child grabs a fake sword and essentially beats the crap out of the dinosaur. You'd think that would be enough, but no. He then grabs the toy drill and with a laugh starts drilling the poor T-rex. I, at this point sat back on the couch having flash backs to all the torture/horror films I've watched - and there have been a lot.

Sometimes he gets a ribbon stick and pretends it's fire and he sets fire to everything or everyone depending on what we're playing. I find myself just playing along but actually it's quite interesting from a psychology point of view. Just what is going on up there? Anyhoo, I just wanted to share that as I thought it was mildly frightening/hilarious. When he starts pulling teeth, I'm out of there.

So, you know that feeling when you order a dress online - sorry boys I've alienated you - and it doesn't fit because you're too wide? Am so annoyed. I'm mostly a size 10, occasionally size 8 but when a 10 won't zip up around the old rib cage I get a slight anger. I can't really diminish my rib cage and I won't go a size up as the rest of it won't fit properly. Not fair! I'll never be delicate. I know this. I made my peace a long time ago, but seriously, sometimes I wish I wasn't so god damn wide for my size. Stupid broad shoulders and big bones.

Okay, enough girly nonsense, it's a free return and I get a refund, so all is not lost. And besides I started working on a new picture book yesterday, which is very exciting. Lots of creases to iron out, but there is definitely something there and I love my main character: A dragon named Geoff. Oh yes. Geoff. Love it! Oh by the way, there will be no torture scenes in this book, by fire, drill or sword. But there may be the odd hair ball. Intrigued? Me too.

I think I've garbled on long enough.
Come on Italy! Help us out!

Rants