The 57th Grammy Awards

Well, if you came expecting a party, you'll be somewhat disappointed. The Grammy's this year took on a more sombre approach, with the night's performances dominated by ballads, a bit of preaching and songs with messages. Only a small fraction included an element of fun, or had the artists actually enjoying themselves, which was a bit of a let down.

Having only been able to watch the hideously edited version produced for UK TV, it's ridiculous when you realise how much they left out. Of the 80+ Grammy awards given, to all manner of genres of music spanning rock, metal, folk, country, Latin, classical, and more, the only awards televised for the British public were the pop ones, which was about a tenth of the awards. Surely they could have at least mentioned the others at the end, like they do at the BAFTAs, which incidentally I watched on Sunday night and thoroughly enjoyed.

Also, I had seen the list of performers before the show and I was looking forward to Miranda Lambert's performance, happy that Country music was represented by at least one artist, but then they failed to show it. Probably because it was actually up tempo and it was a fun performance. Well, F you, I watched it on YouTube afterwards. Go Miranda!

And so to the night and the performances, - well at least the ones the Brits were permitted to see - here's how it went through the eyes of Rants:

AC/DC
Opening the show in the old school rock tradition of 'going for it', AC/DC had the entire crowd on their feet. This was the way to get the party started, unfortunately this was the most up tempo the night got - with the odd exception. But whereas this could have been the start of something, it became the beginning and the end, before the ballads took over.

Big respect though, AC/DC came on and they fully committed to the moment.

The first award presented was for Best New Artist and it went to Sam Smith. I wrote in my notes, yay, a Brit! But later I was like: what, again, really?

Ariana Grande
Well, we all know she's a Mariah wannabe and bless her, she tried, but being flat throughout most of the song didn't help, and the boring ballad didn't improve matters. It did make me laugh when the smoke machine blew the smoke right in her face and she had to waft it away.

In other news, oh good god, what the hell is Jessie J wearing? If you haven't seen the monstrosity of an outfit, please google it. It's absolutely hideous! Whoever suggested she wear that, should be instantly fired. And if she chose it herself, well, that's a shame.

Jessie J and Tom Jones
This was paying tribute to a song writing couple who received an honour from the Grammy's, so this time we were treated to an old school ballad. Wow. Could things get any slower?
It was a little awkward due the complete lack of chemistry between the two performers, but of course the vocals were bloody good.

The next award was for Best Pop Solo Performance, which went to Pharrell Williams for Happy. He looked particularly adorable in his shorts and bow tie. His speech was super awkward made even more awkward by the fact he said, 'This is super awkward.' Thank you, you made us all cringe.

N.B I have to interject here and say how messed up it is that the songs performed in last year's Grammy's are winning awards this time. It gives it all a bit of a behind the times feeling. Very strange.

The Bee Gees were given a Lifetime Achievement Award and then Best Pop Vocal Album was presented to Sam Smith. It must be hard having to come up with something to say every time you win something. But he did nicely put that being himself enabled him to make better music.

Kanye West
Ah, the vocoder. Is that making a comeback? Evidently Kanye seems to think so. I mean who can hear a vocoder without hearing Cher? Again we were given a ballad, and this one was a little preachy too. I have to ask: Does the light on the floor hold magnetic powers? He just couldn't step away from it.

Madonna
Ah, Madonna. The only positive thing I have to say, I'll say first: it was up tempo. There was a beat. It wasn't a ballad. But that's it. The rest of it was tosh. Horned men, too much crotch, the most out of tune vocals ever, the horned man with his head in her crotch, eek. It was all just a little offensive!

You're three years younger than my mum. Please, just stop. The final three words I have to say on the matter are: Cringe. Scream. Hide.

George Harrison was then honoured with a Lifetime Achievement Award followed by Best R&B Performance going to Beyonce Ft Jay-Z for Drunk in Love, which as I mentioned in last year's Grammy blog is not a good song.

When James Cordon walked on to announce Ed Sheeran, I wonder if anyone knew who the hell he was? Still, I did.

Ed Sheeran
Another slow one, but not a ballad, just chilled and relaxed. But when the vocals are as pitch perfect and smooth as this then who gives a rat's arse? With back up from John Mayor and Herbie Hancock, amongst others, this was a great performance and the best male vocal performance of the whole night.

Adam Levine and Gwen Stefani
Another fuckin' ballad. Erm, this was not only a random duo, but singing an old Maroon 5 song, when, as my partner rightly put it, neither of them have an album out. What are they even doing here? Adam sounded great. She looked incredible. But this ballady stuff just made her voice sound weak and nasal. The final couple of bars where they sang in harmony was the best bit, as their voices actually blended quite nicely, but this really was not the song for her.

Hozier and Annie Lennox
Well, the Brits were doing us proud over there, because Hozier with that beautifully deep voice and a song with one of the best choruses I've heard in a long time, really cranked it up. And then Annie Lennox - ledge! - came on to add a bit of harmony, before they slipped nicely into I Put a Spell on You. Some really powerful vocal performances, and some true British eccentricity gave this performance energy, power and emotion on every note. Plus the combination and blend of their voices really worked.

Great performance. One of the top performances of the night!

Pharell, Lang Lang and Hans Zimmer
Well wasn't this just completely bizarre? It was the dramatic/dark version of Happy, interjected with the up tempo version we're used to. Dressed as a bus boy with yellow shoes, he did look as though he was auditioning for the next Wes Anderson. But really, I don't think it'll be the same as Grand Budapest Hotel.
His voice sounded pretty good tonight, but the performance was slightly jarring as it switched between dark and foreboding to light and airy. Bizarre seemed the only word to cover it.

The night as a whole was definitely dark, and with President Obama and a victim of domestic violence giving a speech, leading into a ballad about domestic violence by Katy Perry, we did seem to be spiralling somewhat.

Katy Perry
The creepy shadow play behind her was kinda weird, and I'm sure it was all symbolic and stuff but it was also hilarious in points. There was one and then two and then three, and then two again, and limbs everywhere and it was all very distracting. Katy was pretty strong vocally, but again it was all just a little boring. I know there was a message in here and I hate the idea of people suffering from domestic violence, but it was still a boring performance.

Usher
Guess what? He did a ballad. Yay. The harp looked real but sounded so fake. I still couldn't figure that one out, but anyway, his voice was great but it was another boring ballad. And of course the best bit was the last twenty seconds when Stevie Wonder appeared to play harmonica.

Tony Bennett and Lady Gaga
Now you're talking. Fun and flirty with a phenomenal vocal performance from Lady Gaga. Note perfect, yet sensationally emotive and expressive. This Lady can Jazz even better than she can Pop! Awesome! Thank you, we needed that!

Sam Smith and Mary J Blige
This on paper could have gone quite wrong, but surprisingly the voices blended really well, and the performance was great. I mean we're all pig sick of hearing the damn song, but that's not his fault.

Then Prince walks on in orange, and the crowd go crazy. He's only there to present an award, calm down. And he presented Beck with the Best Album award for Morning Phase.  Beyonce just about pulled her fake smile in time for the camera. Bless him, he had genuine shock and terror at winning. Well done!

Sia
I still can't stand this whole, Blair Witch stand in the corner thing, whilst some contemporary dancer tries to suffocate herself with a tartan blanket. I really don't get it. And the song isn't even that good. But anyway, two clones strip off each other's clothes and then leap and frolic on the stage. Fuckin' weird.

Another award for Sam Smith, this time Song of the Year for Stay with Me, cue snippet of music, again. *yawn* And I had recently found out from my partner that the song completely plagiarised another song and so 30% of royalties have to go to the other artist, and I thought, should we be celebrating plagiarism? Shouldn't one of the other songs that didn't rip off someone else's work win? Is this essentially fan fiction for music?

Cue the oddest combination of artists: Rihanna, Sir Paul McCartney and Kanye West.
The biggest shock - no offense - was how great Rihanna's voice was. Powerful, note perfect and really, really good. That was a good shock. However, doing the grab the crotch thing spoiled it a bit. Paul McCartney just looked so out of place and Kanye West was a tad too intense for the song, but hey, Rihanna can sing. Great.

Another award for Sam Smith, and at this point you're thinking, let someone else win, come on. But Jamie Fox and Stevie Wonder presenting the award were hilarious. Find that video online. It's awesome.

Gwyneth Paltrow came on to announce Beyonce's performance dressed as tinsel and Beyonce sang us a hymn, just to really raise the spirits of the night. Boring. And a bit pitchy to start with, which was a shock. One of the lyrics was 'I am tired,' an effect you seemed to bring on the audience too.

John Legend and Common
Now just for a change, this was a gospel ballad, with a bit of rap. I didn't really know who either of them were, but John can sing very well, as could all the gospel backup singers. I have to say those string players made their money tonight. They were barely off the stage.
I think this performance took the award for most performers on stage, but this felt like being preached to again.

And then, due to the fabulous editing, that was our last performance, no announcement, nothing. They just showed us half the Sam Smith/Mary J Blige performance again and signed off. No Miranda Lambert, no farewell speech, that's it!

I think everyone should click this link and watch Miranda Lambert's performance of Little Red Wagon, as it was one of the most fun performances of the night, and could really cheer you up after all the freakin' ballads. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uMuIJXcTsVA

I have a couple of awards myself:

Best Vocal Performance: Joint 1st place to Ed Sheeran and Tony Bennett/Lady Gaga.
Both performances were tight, with insanely good vocals and even a bit of flirty good fun.

Highly Commended Performances: Hozier and Annie Lennox, and Sam Smith/Mary J Blige.

Best/Only Rock Performance: AC/DC

Good Voice but Worst Dress Award: Jessie J

Worst Performance of the Night: Madonna. Obviously.

Most Bizarre Performances: Pharell and Sia

Best/Only Country Performance That was Actually Left Out of the Broadcast: Miranda Lambert, Little Red Wagon.

Well, there you have it, the Grammy's done for another year. Well done to the other 70+ award winners who never got a mention over here unless you google the complete list of winners online. And let's hope next year there's a few less ballads and a bit more fun!

Rants

Passport Picture Mong Out

It's been a while since I've had a real, old fashioned rant, but the wait is over.

So it's been ten years since I got my first ever passport - I know, slow off the mark as always - but in those ten, fabulous, travel filled years, I've done so much more then I ever thought I would, and I've been to some incredible places. Once I renew, I'll be continuing the trend. But there's that one hideous step that stands in the way between you and your new passport: dun dun duuuuuuuuun: the passport photograph. *cue dramatic choral music*

Yes, it's the worst thing about any type of ID, it's the freakin' photograph. And for your passport you have to jump through even more hoops than usual, just so you can look as miserable and disgusting as possible, and be immortalised like that for ten years. NOOOOOOO!

One of the worst things is not being allowed to wear my glasses. This is completely shit and more than annoying because I'll be wearing them when I go through customs, so why not on the photographs? Plus I feel all kinds of naked without them, and they hide part of my face which is always a bonus.

Then of course, I'm not allowed to smile, which is actually the worst thing ever! And not only that, but you are not allowed to show your teeth or even smile with your mouth closed. You have to keep a neutral expression, which is basically your default setting which you use when by yourself, when reading, concentrating and generally not being in contact with other human beings. Otherwise you would be expressive and you would smile and try to look nice.

I just can't understand why we're not allowed to smile. If they think it's because people look different when they smile, then they would be right, but generally people look a helluva lot better when they smile - unless you're one of those people that can actually pull off the neutral expression, in which case you're probably on board with this rule and I'm sorry but if you are one of these people, I don't think we can be friends. If they just let us smile on the photograph, then in order to prove who we are at customs, we'd have to smile going through. Winner. That would make customs such a pleasant environment. Everyone would be happy - which in most circumstances they are, because they're going on freakin' holiday!

And then there's loads of other rules, but they are all in place to make you look the worst you possibly can, even though you're looking at yourself in the photo booth mirror before it takes the picture and you're thinking, not too shabby. Not great, but not minging. Oh, ho, ho, how wrong you are.

What they show you is some weird, electronic, alien, hybrid with just enough of your features to be recognisable as you, but not enough to really be you. It makes you want to cover your face and never reveal it again in public. I don't know how they do it, or why they do it, but it's evil and it has to stop. I was actually in genuine terror that I might look as haggard as I was portrayed in this alien version of myself. I felt I needed to apologise for my own face. Nothing else in life has ever made me do that, just the freakin' photo booth for these sodding passport photographs.

         
I just had to trawl through photographs to realise that I'm not quite as butt ugly and haggard as the photo booth made me out to be. I would feel so much more comfortable doing any one of these faces every time I went through customs. I vote for fun passport photos, all the way!

So I think it would be better if you were allowed a more 'anything goes' sort of scenario for your passport. You can pull a face, smile, heaven forbid show your teeth, or give a thumbs up, but whatever you do it has to replicated at passport control and customs. Done! People would be happier, customs officers would use more smiles than frowns, job satisfaction at border control would escalate and the world would be a better place all round.

Instead they keep us looking down trodden, miserable and taking the form of these weird alternate creatures from Mong town, Mongsville.

I made a few improvements to my left over photograph. I think this would look much better.

Oh well, I only have to use it for 10 YEARS. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!


Rants

Hail The All Powerful Goddess Of The Clouds

Yes that's right, you heard it correctly, I am the All Powerful Goddess of the Clouds, as announced by the talking throne. Though I probably look more like a witch than a Cloud Goddess. Not that I have much to compare with. Who's ever seen a Goddess of the Clouds in the flesh anyway? I did enjoy the red carpet walk up and the way he said Goddess was just perfect.

Wondering what the hell I'm going on about? (You're not alone.)

Don't look too threatening do I? Looks can be deceiving. 

Do you know how long it took me to decide on my official title? There were so many adjectives, so many places, so many nouns. I could have been anyone. You could be anyone! Dress up. Create. Imagine. Become. At The Story Museum. 

Yes, I finally made it - about a month before the amazing 26 Characters exhibit is due to close - to Oxford and the zany cluster of houses that is The Story Museum. It is a proverbial rabbit warren of colourful quirky spaces, alternate worlds, and offers much in the way of escape and exploration for all ages. 

I went on a Friday lunch time and was one of few adults milling around in their lunch breaks. This only heightened some of the worlds I was walking into. Believe me, it makes a difference wandering into Narnia, half expecting the White Witch to jump out at you when you're by yourself. I watch a lot of horror films and you do have these weird creepy thoughts as you're going around - well I did. I mean wouldn't that have been perfect? Author disappears in the Story Museum after wandering into Narnia. Alone. 

All joking aside, this exhibit is crammed full of some of the most beloved UK and International Children's authors transforming into their favourite literary characters. In each room you get to experience that character and are inserted into their world, giving a true sense of being transported with every step. 

I strongly urge anyone who hasn't been yet, to hop on the train and go as soon as possible, and even if you're by yourself as a thirty something adult and you feel a little self-conscious, get in the dress up room and get your talking throne on. You won't regret it. 

After your visit, you can chill in the lovely cafe and peruse the book shop, where you are guaranteed to want at least eighty percent of the stock. You can also pick up the guide to the exhibit, which is £5 cheaper when you show your ticket. 

The exhibit runs until the 22nd February, on Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays, so there's still time to follow the trail, complete your stamp sheet - yay, even the adults get one. Score! - and enjoy these 26 Characters. 

Now bow down to me. I am the All Powerful Goddess of the Clouds, after all. 

Rants

More details at the official Story Museum site: http://www.storymuseum.org.uk/

The 200th. The Big One. Boom!

Wow. It's finally here. The big 200th blog. I've been panicking about making it amazing. A landmark in blogging. But let's face it, I blog about general randomness and sometimes about events I've attended, it's hardly the New York Times and it's never going to be. I make no apologies about that.

But it would be nice to have something to blog about, and as you'll soon see I don't really, I'm just waffling the words away, as I do best. But don't let that put you off. Keep reading. Please.

There's something nice about hitting a round number like 200 - as opposed to a square one like 198. It's like when you read a book and somehow reaching the first 100 pages - especially when it's a Game of Thrones type 600+ page book - feels like a small achievement.  And life's full of these 'small achievements' that somehow keep us going.

It's like when you set out a few minutes late, but still make your train. Or you think all the biscuits are gone, but you find one more in the packet. Or you find a stray pound or two in a coat you haven't worn for months. Please feel free to add your own here, I could go on.

I've also just realised this is my first Rants blog of 2015, which should also mean it's a spectacular array of wonder and enchantment. Erm. Okay. Here goes.

So 200 times people have read something I wrote online. 200 times people have - hopefully - laughed or at the very least smiled at my misfortune, or occasionally my good fortune. It means that 200 times people have heard my desperate plea for sanity and by reading and commenting and generally being supportive have kept me on the right side of the sanity/insanity line. Thank you readers, I literally couldn't do it without you.

And so, for the 200th time I'm going to waffle on about whatever comes to mind in the next few seconds whilst my fingers continue to tap out an inconsistent beat, as I pause and think, what the hell am I writing?

One thing I did realise yesterday, was that travelling by train is often the best way to ruminate on book ideas. It also used to be my conduit for songwriting. Ah, those trains from Wigan to Salford, I did get a lot done. And I don't know if it's the comforting motion, or just the fact that you are being transported somewhere and therefore so is your mind, but I always find quality thinking time when travelling by train. Maybe it's the huge windows you can daydream out of, so you can see the sky and zoom through the world pinching specks of inspirational dust. Or maybe it's just the fact that you are somewhere else, zooming to somewhere else and you relax. You are able to leave that 'stuck' feeling that you often get when chained to the computer at home, and you can just allow your mind to expand.

Yesterday I also realised that some stories and some characters will never be silenced, and even though I've had rejections for a particular story and lost heart with it a little bit, I still really need to tell that story. And not just because it was the first full novel I ever wrote and I have already spent five years on it, but because those characters need a chance to engage with readers, and tell their story, because it's a great story and I'm not giving up on it. Besides, they won't let me anyway. #fridayrevelations

So I made the decision that the first book I'll be editing this year will be my debut novel The Last Imagining, which has been written and re-written countless times, edited so many times I can't even fathom, and has been deconstructed and reconstructed enough times that I felt I had somehow lost it. But strong characters don't let you forget them. If their voices keep harping on at you, even from the proverbial mind grave you buried them alive in, then they will never rest until you've given them the opportunity to star in the story of their lives. Persistent little buggers. It only makes me love them more.

And so with the startling revelation of: I NEED TO WRITE THIS BOOK! I NEED TO TELL THIS STORY! I feel that 2015 has finally started for me. I know it's going to be tough, but time away from this project and the opportunity to breathe and write other characters has somehow given me the strength and sheer stubborn faced determination to get this book up to scratch and out there. There may be a lot of 'portal based fantasy' around, but they ain't seen nothing yet!

Well, that turned into something different than I thought it would. Sometimes writing blind is the best thing. Sometimes letting your fingers channel your mind without hesitation or censorship, can lead to this sort of garbled mess.

Anyhoo, happy 200th blog to me and to all the readers. I will continue to rant and be bitter and northern, but I have also really enjoyed blogging about events and of course my Katie Bush blogs of 2014 were so well received, I was giddy for months. Still am a little bit. I hope you'll come with me into 2015 because there's a lot more where this came from.

Oooo, and I just found out my time for parkrun this week and am very giddy. Only 25 seconds off my personal best and the closest I've been in about 6 months. Whoop!

Have a great weekend everyone.

Rants

My Year In Books: 2014

It's here again, that last day of the year, the 31st December. Now, I'm not going to tell you my thoughts on the past year, my achievements, my worst bits. etc. etc. But I am going to give you a run down of my year in books.

This is the first year I've done this; kept a monthly tally of the books I've read, and I will definitely be making this an annual thing. I just kept a list in the back of my diary with the titles and authors of the books and a tally at the end of each month of how many books read. (My favourites from each month are highlighted in bold.)

So here goes:

January 2014

1. Days of Blood and Starlight (Daughter of Smoke and Bone #2) : Laini Taylor
2. Revealed (House of Night #11) : P C & Kristen Cast
3. Last Blood (House of Camarre #5) : Kristen Painter
4. The Invisible Man: H G Wells.
5. Fire: Kate Cann
6. The War of the Worlds: H G Wells
7. The Vampire of Highgate: Asa Bailey
8. Love Minus Eighty: Will Mcintosh

Four of these were Christmas presents, one was borrowed from a friend and three were from the library. I think my favourite book of January would have to be Last Blood: Kristen Painter, as it was the final in the House of Comarre series and a long awaited end to a great fantasy saga. 

February 2014

1. Rivers of London: Ben Aaronovitch
2. Dr Zhivago: Boris Pasternak
3. Fortunately, the Milk: Neil Gaiman
4. The Bride's Farewell: Meg Rosoff
5. My Sister Lives on the Mantelpiece: Annabel Pitcher
6. She is not Invisible: Marcus Sedgewick
7. Noble Conflict: Malorie Blackman
8. The Graveyard Book: Neil Gaiman
9. Odd Thomas: Dean Koontz

Of February's books, two of them were Christmas presents that I hadn't got around to in January, five were borrowed from the library, one I bought, and one was recommended by a family I was babysitting for, so I read it whilst the kids were asleep. My favourite book of February had to be the incredible, My Sister Lives on the Mantelpiece. A beautifully emotive story of loss and prejudice and friendship. 

March 2014

1. 77 Shadow Street: Dean Koontz
2. The Crane Wife: Patrick Ness
3. Day of the Triffids: John Wyndham
4. Hollow Pike: James Dawson
5. Essential Meteorology: Donald Ahrens
6. Forever Odd (Odd Thomas #2) : Dean Koontz
7. Clockwork Angel (TID #1) : Cassandra Clare
8. Clockwork Prince (TID #2) : Cassandra Clare
9. Clockwork Princess (TID #3) : Cassandra Clare

Ah, I do love a Cassie Clare re-read, and so sometimes the whole trilogy gets another outing. Four of these books were borrowed from the library, three of them re-read, one of them was research for one of my novels - I think you'll guess which one - and the other two I bought. My favourite book of March was definitely the quirky new adult book from Patrick Ness: The Crane Wife. Extraordinarily fantastical, yet still so human, I highly recommend this!

April 2014

1. The Humans: Matt Haig
2. Panic: Lauren Oliver
3. Delirium (Delirium Trilogy #1) : Lauren Oliver
4. The Red House: Mark Haddon
5. The Three Musketeers: Alexandre Dumas
6. Divergent: Veronica Roth
7. Infinite Sky: C J Flood

The first five were borrowed from the library, definitely a good haul, and they allowed me the discovery of a new author whom I now love: Lauren Oliver. Thank you Kentish Town Library. The final two were lovely YA treats, both Easter gifts. Who the hell needs chocolate? It's a tricky month to pick a favourite, but I think it just leans towards Panic: Lauren Oliver, with The Humans: Matt Haig, very close behind. 

May 2014

1. The Shock of the Fall: Nathan Filer
2. Holes: Louis Sacher
3. Handmaid's Tale: Margaret Atwood
4. The Traitor Game: B R Collins
5. Poems of John Keats: Complied by Claire Tomalin
6. Full Dark, No Stars: Stephen King
7. Marina: Carlos Ruiz Zafon
8. The Ocean at the End of the Lane: Neil Gaiman
9. American Psycho: Bret Easton Ellis
10. Angus, Thongs, and Full Frontal Snogging: Louise Rennison
11. Submarine: Joe Dunthorne

Wow, May was a good month for reading, and reading a variety as I think you'll agree. There were some absolute belters this month, and eight of them borrowed from the library. Two were Easter presents and one I bought from the lovely Owl Bookshop in Kentish Town. (Keep your local independent book stores alive!) 

Picking a favourite from this month is impossible. The best I could do was my favourite three: The Shock of the Fall: Nathan Filer. This is phenomenal! The Handmaid's Tale: Margaret Atwood. This is terrifying and one of the most incredible books I've ever read. Think dystopian but written in the '80s. Full Dark, No stars: Stephen King. This anthology of short stories is at times harrowing, funny, scary and down right freaky, but the way it is written keeps you glued to the pages. 

Number 10 on the list was needed after number 9 on the list, just for a little light relief. Jeez American Psycho will freak you out as well as making you laugh out loud and squirm in discomfort. Read it! 

June 2014

1. City of Lost Souls (TMI #5) : Cassandra Clare
2. City of Heavenly Fire (TMI #6) : Cassandra Clare
3. The Cloud Hunters: Alex Shearer
4. Jamaica Inn: Daphne De Maurier
5. As I Walked Out One Evening: W H Auden
6. Brother Odd (Odd Thomas #3) : Dean Koontz
7. Haunt Dead Scared: Curtis Jobling
8. To Kill a Mockingbird: Harper Lee
9. The Wasp Factory: Ian Banks
10. Picture Me Gone: Meg Rosoff

Another good haul this month with five hailing from the library. The Mortal Instruments series was completed with the fabulous: City of Heavenly Fire, which warranted a re-read of the preceding book in the series, just for a recap. (Any excuse. I love Cassie Clare.) And June also saw first reads of two classics that I probably should have already read but hadn't. But now I have. I think it's only fair that my favourite book of June goes to Harper Lee and the incredible: To Kill a Mockingbird. Yes it took me a long time to get round to reading it, and no I was not lucky enough to study it in high school, but it was well worth the wait, and I know it will be a book that remains on the shelf, always, waiting to be read again. 

July 2014

1. Selected Poetry: Rudyard Kipling
2. Seven Second Delay: Tom Easton
3. Chicago: Lonely Planet Travel Guide
4. It's OK, I'm wearing Big Knickers: Louise Rennison
5. Jessica Cole, Model Spy: Sarah Sky
6. Wisconsin: Moon Travel Guide
7. More Than This: Patrick Ness
8. Sky Run: Alex Shearer
9. Attachments: Rainbow Rowell
10. Humbling: Patrick Roth

July saw the inclusion of a couple of travel guides, as I started to plan for the September US/Canada trip, very exciting. And the other eight were library triumphs. A good selection this month and after the YALC - Young Adult Literature Conference - and all the talk of Rainbow Rowell, I found Attachments in the adult section of the library. Oh my word, you have to read this book. She has such a handle of dialogue. It is so real. And I just love the way she writes. There is nothing forced, it is just so natural and you feel totally in safe hands. I wasn't going to jump on the RR band wagon, but after barely a page or two, I was on it and speeding away. I think it's safe to say she won my favourite book of July, but Patrick Ness' latest YA was very close behind. I also thoroughly enjoyed - weirdly - the depressively, dark, Humbling by Patrick Roth. 

August 2014

1. The Machine: James Smythe
2. The Penelopiad: Margaret Atwood
3. Cat's Cradle: Kurt Vonnegut
4. Turn of the Screw: Henry James
5. Everything's Eventual: Stephen King

A less productive reading month, but a very productive writing month. I wrote several thousands of words of a new novel this month and that took most of my brain capacity, but on a brief holiday I managed a few extras. Three of these were borrowed from my partner and two were from the library. I think my favourite of the month would go to James Smythe: The Machine. This is dystopia at its bleakest and when I think about it, August's reading was pretty bleak at best. The sun may be shining outside........

September 2014

1. The Weirdstone of Brisengamen: Alan Garner
2. Odd Hours (Odd Thomas #4) : Dean Koontz
3. Eleanor and Park: Rainbow Rowell
4. Shadow and Bone (Grisha Book 1) : Leigh Bardugo
5. Flowers in the Attic: Virginia Andrews
6. Echo Boy: Matt Haig
7. Zom - B: Darren Shan
8. Heat Wave: Richard Castle (TV tie in: Castle)

September's haul was made up of a combination of Birthday gifts, Birthday money purchases and one library steal. This was another month where it was impossible to pick just one favourite, so I narrowed it down to three. Eleanor and Park. I'm sorry but Rainbow Rowell can do no wrong at the moment. Two books down and two books devoured and loved. Shadow and Bone (Grisha Book 1) was the enlightening opening of a trilogy, of which I am desperate to get my hands on books 2 and 3. Fantasy, magic, a war of epic proportions, and all set in Russia. Awesome! Flowers in the Attic - which I hate to reveal I'd already seen the film of - is more terrifying than any horror book I've ever read. This isn't about monsters and supernatural beings, this is about how evil real people can be, and how the innocent are punished for someone else's crimes. Absolute terror and injustice and it's almost impossible to put the book down. 

October 2014

1. Doctor Sleep: Stephen King
2. Revealed (House of Night #12) : P C & Kristen Cast
3. Wild Boy: Rob Lloyd Thomas
4. City of Ashes (TMI #2) : Cassandra Clare

Rather slim pickings this month, but there was a rather epic holiday in there and the completion and first edit of the novel. Plus I was travelling less due to half term and the kids I look after being away. 

Anyhoo, these were books I owned/had bought/had found and of course number 4 was a re-read because I'd been watching The City of Bones (TMI #1) on Amazon Prime, and even though it's shite compared to the book, I couldn't stop watching it. Anyhoo, my favourite book this month was the long awaited sequel to The Shining: Doctor Sleep. Thank you Mr King, it was well worth it. 

But October also saw me finish - finally, I was running out of shelf space - the House of Night series. 12 books. 12 books. It's a good job they were all pretty tall and thin. They have their own shelf. 

November 2014

1. A Natural History of Dragons: Marie Brennan
2. Say Her Name: James Dawson
3. Me Talk Pretty One Day: David Sedaris
4. Gone Girl: Gillian Flynn
5. The Great Gatsby: F Scott Fitzgerald
6. The Iron Trial: Holly Black and Cassandra Clare
7. Sense and Sensibility: Jane Austen

A nice mixture of oldies and newbies this month, due to raiding the shelves at home, raiding the library and treating myself. November also saw me take part and complete NaNoWriMo. 50,000 words and a new novel done, as well as the novel I finished in October. Not bad in terms of productivity this year. My favourite of this month may be controversial for some - only because of the classics on there -  but it was actually Say Her Name: James Dawson. The horror/thriller YA was a lot of fun and had me laughing out loud in places. it even managed to ruffle the neck hairs a little. It was also useful in terms of my own YA horror, to see how far you can go, and just exactly what is creepy on the page. Thanks James. 

December 2014

1. Maze Runner (Maze Runner #1) : James Dashner
2. Scorch Trials (Maze Runner #2) : James Dashner
3. Girl Interrupted: Susannah Kaysen
4. Afterworlds: Scott Westerfeld
5. Death Cure (Maze Runner #3) : James Dashner

This has been the ultimate YA month to finish off the year. Having seen the Maze Runner film over in Chicago, I was desperate to read the trilogy. It's good to see YA films with male protagonists and written by men, doing just as well as say The Hunger Games and Divergent. Scott Westerfeld's double book, Afterworlds is a real treat. I enjoyed all 600 pages of it. But I think my favourite this month, by the tiniest of margins was Girl Interrupted. Again, a film I have watched, almost oblivious at the time that it was based on a book. But wow. This was concise, yet it felt like you spent every moment of her two and half years trapped with her. Big love for this book. 

And so, my final tally is a whopping: 93 books. 

Of course I cannot choose a favourite. All these books have kept me gripped and turning the pages in their own very unique ways. They have all offered me something, whether terror, hope, despair, or sheer laughter. I have definitely expanded my 'classics' repertoire as I was - and still am  - sadly lacking in that department. I will always be playing catch up. I will always be somewhat late to the party. But I will get there eventually by my own very unique route.  

Whatever you're up to tonight, be safe and have fun! Just being with friends and family, with some good food is enough. We all know this is a slightly overrated occasion. But hopefully you've got the right people around you for a decent farewell to 2014 and a jolly welcoming of 2015. Sod the usual routine of promising to diet and exercise and all that nonsense. If you can and do, great, but no use in pressuring yourself from the off. Why not instead, just promise to read more books. Surely that is a New Year's promise that everyone can get on board with. 

All the best. 

Rants

Going East To Go South: The Journey Home

Well, if you haven’t heard – and if you haven’t, you must have been hiding under the Christmas Tree in a semi-comatose state – there were some pretty hefty delays and major fuck ups with train travel yesterday, up and down the UK.

It really does read like The Diary of a Wimpy Country. I mean come on, some places had about an inch, maybe two inches of snow. Did it really warrant this much disaster news broadcasting and road closures and delays? Come on Britain. It’s not the first time and it sure as hell won’t be the last time the white stuff falls, but every time it does you’d think we were stuck in the movie, The Day After Tomorrow.

It’s winter. Winter is cold. Sometimes it’s cold enough for snow. Winter comes once every year, therefore there is a possibility of snow each year. Granted it doesn’t always happen – except for maybe the highlands of Scotland – but there’s always a chance. And yet Britain have nothing in place. They are always ill prepared and act as though we’re really put out by it.

Just compare our snow plight to that of the US last month and there really is no contest.

Anyhoo, back to the trains. So we all knew about King’s Cross being shut due to over running engineering works, thanks to the BBC and ITV’s news bulletins, but was anyone actually surprised? Has there ever been a year when the works didn’t overrun? At least Virgin were up front and said services would be out until the 29^th , giving them a more realistic 5 days to do works, rather than 2 days. Come on, realistic targets people.

We were actually quite lucky – or so I thought – as our train was going in to St Pancras and therefore wasn’t affected by the closure or the overrunning works, but unfortunately it meant we had to go from Manchester to Sheffield in order to go down to London, and guess where the snow hit worst? Oh, you’ve got it, between Manchester and Sheffield. Cue delays, signal failures, cancellations and screen information fuck ups. Merry Christmas.

We’d been checking all day to see how the trains were going and almost all the trains between Manchester and Sheffield were delayed, so we expected to be late and almost expected to miss our connection but there was still that ounce of hope, especially when it turned out our train actually was on time, and we managed to get our seats and our luggage stowed. Wow! Or so we thought………

We made it to Stockport and the next stop on time and then came the 30 minutes of going nowhere, with no announcements and no apologies and basically no information. We knew we’d majorly missed our connection at Sheffield and would have to wait around half an hour once we eventually arrived. So what was a ranter to do in this situation, when faced with half an hour of going nowhere......? She planned her next blog of course, and adapted the words of a couple of Christmas songs too:

(To the tune of Deck the Halls)

Delayed trains because of snow. Fa la la la la la la choo choo.

‘Tis the season to be pissed off. Fa la la la la la la choo choo.

That’s my seat, wait, no reservations. La la la la la la la choo choo.

Where the fuck can I fit my case? Fa la la la la la la choo choo.

I’m quite fond of that one, but I also came up with this gem to the tune of Walking in a Winter Wonderland:

Gone away are the schedules

Here to stay are the delays

You’ll miss your next train

Ee, it’s a bloody pain

Riding on a Christmas delayed train.

Clearly this was a very productive use of my delay time.

I think the biggest slap in the face of the day, which actually wasn’t a slap in my face, thankfully, was the announcement at Manchester Piccadilly that the 16.16 to Edinburgh had left on time, but due to the wrong information on the screens, most people missed it. Say what? And this announcement only came about 20 minutes after the train had left leaving a lot of pissed off people awaiting a train that had already gone. Come on. There were already cancellations and delays left right and centre and then you go and fuck up the platform number on the screens, meaning that a train that actually was on time was missing half of its passengers. Well done. Well done.

So back to Sheffield......As we were exiting our first train, a lady who was travelling alone and was severely pissed off, began a rant of her own. She just needed to offload and I was the next available person. I agreed and nodded at the appropriate points and made comments like, ‘it’s ridiculous,’ and ‘they didn’t even apologise,’ as well as plenty of ‘I know. I know.’ Bless her. She then wished me a happy new year and a safe journey. I wouldn’t like to be the person on the end of the phone or email when she applies for her refund. Eeshk. Just give her anything she wants.

Anyhoo, when we eventually made it to Sheffield, the next train was coming in about 20 minutes and the platform was busying up. Then it was delayed by 17 minutes, then 20 minutes, then back down to 18 minutes. Then the train supposed to be after this train took over and was going to arrive first, then it changed to only 12 minutes late and the other train had to change platform. Fun and games at Sheffield station.

Once on the train we picked up a couple of minutes extra delay but it was fairly quiet and plain sailing into London. And we were only an hour later than our scheduled train, but it felt like longer. It had taken around five hours to get home, more than double the usual time, but you do come to expect these things around Christmas time. Still, I know a lot of people had it much worse than us and I have to say the lady train manager on our final train to London was very apologetic and kept us updated of arrival times and any further delays, and like she said it was more the knock on effect than anything else, as the trains had been delayed all day and it pushed almost every service off track.

I hope everyone managed to get where they intended to, eventually. 

One final end rant. How hard is it to write a blog on an aeroplane? Yes, this blog has been written in the air from London to Bologna, as we had only a mere 9 hours in Flat 19 before setting out for Stansted and out flight to Italy to see A’s family. I’ve been juggling note pads, the lap top, porridge and money and the inability to see the screen well enough. Not the best writing conditions, but it’s done now, blog number 198. Getting closer to the big 200.

If you are travelling today, I hope you have a more pleasant experience, though I highly doubt it. And I hope the train companies pull their fingers out and finish the damn works.

Until next time, enjoy the build up to 2015. I’ve got a feeling it’s gonna be a mega year!

Rants

Rants Vs NaNoWriMo and Small Towns

Well it's freakin' December. How the feck did that happen? One minute it's Halloween and I'm dressed as a geisha witch, and the next its perfume adverts and people getting gooey over the John Lewis advert and far too many renditions of jingle bells for one lifetime. So what happened in between?

Ah, it was that pesky NaNoWriMo, and for those of you thinking this is the wordiest acronym ever - you'd be right - it stands for National Novel Writing Month, the object being to challenge yourself to write a 50,000 word novel in 30 days. Crazy right? Yeah. I did it!

You do tend to feel like you bypassed a month of everyone else's year, like November somehow didn't exist for you because you were in another world, your fictional world and therefore it shouldn't count. 

Keeping up with social media and friends was tricky but doable. But going out to work or study became more inconvenient than ever. What happens when you're in the throes of an amazing scene and then you have to leave the house, or your train journey ends, or someone wants to talk to you? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

It does give you a strange discipline and a weird feeling of control. Knowing that you have a deadline is a thing most unpublished writers - like myself - don't tend to adhere to, so this is a great grounding for working up to a deadline and the art of doing a bit each day, no matter whether it is 100 words or 4000 words. The point is that you're making progress day by day and that it is all adding to the bigger picture.

It also makes you realise what you can achieve in a short amount of time, whilst also working/studying/living. You don't have to give up everything, you just have to get up a little earlier, or write in your lunch break, or write late at night, or for that hour in between teaching jobs. Stolen moments here and there can produce a few hundred words and set you up nicely for the next scene.

For instance, during NaNoWriMo:

I attended Stream, the first South London Book Festival. I took my laptop with me and wrote over a 1000 words in between two panels.

I wrote 2 blogs on my rantsofabitternortherner blog.

I read 7 books.

I went to a dinner party and a Sunday lunch all in the same weekend.

I spent two nights babysitting.

I travelled up to Nottingham to stay with some friends, writing on both my train journey there and back.

And I spent two days away in Basel, Switzerland for my tenth anniversary with my partner A.

And in the whole month there was only one day where I did no words at all.

So really, you can still live and work and play and travel and blog and eat and maybe even get a bit of sleep, you can earn money and write a complete novel in a month. I know it because I've done it along with thousands of other people around the world. Congratulations to everyone who took part. I know it's made me a better writer for it. And it is the completion of my fourth YA novel, which is a hefty achievement.

It's definitely something I would do again, though I do have a couple of quibbles. Why November? It is a month with only 30 days. A month with 31 would be even better. And also it gives you that kind of blackout feeling, like you lost a month somewhere, which on the lead up to Christmas and the end of the year is quite shocking, because you go to sleep on Halloween night and wake up on the 1st December with your advent calendar gleaming. But you do have a 50000 word novel too. My main issue was fitting in runs/workouts, but I think that's probably a bit of laziness on my part. Still, it's nice to have a reason/something to blame. Oh yeah, I put on a bit of weight, but I wrote a novel in a month so deal with the love handles, alright!

Okay, backtracking slightly, I have an issue when we go away for a weekend break to a small town/city in Europe, though it can happen on our longer holidays in the States as well. I don't know if anyone else experiences the same thing, especially if you're from London, but it goes something like this:

*clears throat* You arrive at your destination, probably having flown Ryanair and having picked the destination because of the proximity of the airport to the city centre/town centre. You make your way to the accommodation, and if you're anything like us you will have booked a cute flat on air bnb with cooking facilities because let's face it it's a month before Christmas and Switzerland is expensive. So you arrive there and the very nice artsy lady who owns the flat shows you in and tells you it's very small and we say that's fine we have a small flat in London. And then here it comes:

You have come from London? Why?

Er. Why do you go anywhere? To travel. To see new things. Because it's cheap to get to. Because there's a Christmas Market. Because we haven't been there before. Etc. Etc. I don't think I need to go on.

And then you get the classic: It's very small compared to London.

No. Really? And I thought every city was just as big. Oh My God. I hate that so much. We live in London and we know how big it is, sometimes it's nice to escape somewhere smaller, or just to experience something different. I know I'm an ignorant Brit at times, but I am aware that London is a freakin' massive City. I do not expect nor want every place I visit to be on the same scale. I visit smaller places for a different feel but also to do as much as you can in a short break. If everywhere was as big as London, you would have to go for a month to get anything out of it. It's crazy. And it bugs the freakin' life out of me. As you may have gathered.

We get it sometimes in the States as well, but that tends to be pure disbelief when we visit smaller cities/towns, because they see London as so far away and so different that they can't imagine why people would want to visit. But in everything, variety is key. And going somewhere different and doing something different is the whole point of holidays and travelling. To get out there and do something new and meet new people and try new food and explore cultures and traditions that are different to your own, and to eat massive sausages at Christmas markets. Mmmmm. Bratwurst. 

I digress. 

Anyhoo. NaNoWriMo done. Small towns covered. I think it's time to go. 

Rants