When kids try to make out you're stupid........
Z (7 year old I look after): Helen, do you know David Presley?
Me: No. Am I supposed to?
Z: I can't believe you don't know who David Presley is.
Me: Well, I know an Elvis Presley, but not David Presley.
Z: Oh yeah, that's who I meant. I always call people David by mistake.
When kids try to make out you don't know where you're going.......
Me: We just need to walk down this road and then we'll be on Caledonian Road for the bus home.
Z: Um, I don't know. This doesn't look like the way we came this morning.
Me: That's because it's a different road, love.
Z: I know, but....it doesn't look the same.
Me: How could it? It's a different road.
Z: Yeah, but still. I think I'll just check this map over there.
(We cross the road to look at a housing estate map.)
Me: That's just for a housing estate Z, but you can see this is the road we're on now and we just need to go this way.
(Turns his head in the other direction, rubbing his chin. I can see him deliberating that I've taken us completely wrong.)
Z: It doesn't say Caledonian Road on here.
Me: That's because it's the map of a housing estate and doesn't go as far as Caledonian Road. Trust me, it's this way.
(I start to walk off. He lingers behind a bit, still umming an' arring. I'm getting slightly annoyed at this point.)
Z: I'm still not sure. It all looks different.
Me: (Volume increase.) That's because it's a different street. You didn't come along this street this morning, you took another one. We are going the right way, now could you just keep moving and stop doubting me, please.
When Parents giving them instructions can annoyingly backfire..........
Me: So here we are at Caledonian Road. (I think I was a little shocked and relieved at that point. He had me doubting myself.) Now we just need to find the bus stop.
Z: Oh yeah, I remember this road, we came this way with daddy this morning.
(Strong urge to pull a face and sing neh, neh, neh, neh, neh. I resisted - out loud.)
Me: Great, now I'm pretty sure the bus stop will be this way.
Z: Daddy says it's bus stop C, so we have to find that one.
Me: Well I don't know, we'll just have to check the bus stop when we get to it, and if the 17 goes from there, then it's fine.
Z: No, daddy said it had to be C.
Me: Well, I don't know where all the bus stops are, and this one here says B and has the number 17 and it goes the right way, so it's fine.
Z: But daddy said we should go to C.
Me: (Again, slight volume increase.) Okay then. Fine. We'll walk down to the next bus stop. Look, you can see it down there. Come on.
Z: (He comes trailing behind me.) No. It's okay, we can go to this one.
Me: No. No. If it has to be C, come on, let's go and find C. (I march off.)
Z: No, really, we can just go to this one, it really doesn't matter.
Me: I know. That's what I said all along. (Ahhhhhhhh.)