Google opening times for the patience shop......I'm running a little low.

As usual, apologies for length of time between blogs. Been having a slight nightmare recently, but thankfully mystery illness left me after a week and I can now eat things other than plain pasta, plain rice and chicken. Whoop! Oh and I've been having monstrous bowls of cereal in the mornings, just to say in your face stomach beast! Ha!

Now I will warn you, it's gonna be a work rant, but as usual I can't really speak my mind for fear of the sackage, so I will unwillingly censor myself.......urgh!

Basically it's shit! (my job, that is) But I've always known that. It goes through periods of less shittiness and increased shittiness. But at the moment I think it's at the peak of shittiness, like it can go no worse. Though I shouldn't even think that because we'll probably end up with an explosion or a fire or something that could really put a spanner in the works.

I''m angry and grumpy all the time. The kids aren't listening because they like to see me losing my mind and I just don't think I can keep up the facade any longer. I may be smiling on the outside but I'm raging inside.

I actually said to the kids the other day that I needed to go shopping, but to a very specific shop. I told them I needed to go to the patience shop, because I'd run out and there wasn't even any in my back pocket.

And it's true. My vast supplies of patience are greatly depleting and every day they rob a bit more, wear me down until my grey hairs have started to show again. (They had disappeared......Well, either that or they were hiding, lurking, waiting for the day that they could latch on again and start breeding.) Evil little f****ers! (I would just like to clarify here that I'm talking about my grey hairs...nothing else!!!!!!)

And any one that knows me, would probably say what amazing patience I have, and it used to be in abundance, like I could just pick it out of the air, consume it from the water I drink (or vimto, let's face it). But now I have a block and even if the patience is there, it ain't getting through and I'm losing it, big time!

So that got me thinking.........I wonder if there's a job out there that doesn't involve contact with others. Where I can just shut myself away and be alone and possibly sway and rock. Hmmmmmmm. Anything other than a psych patient come to mind?????? Eh, never mind, I'm way over qualified for that anyway.

Okay, well maybe I can have a job where you don't get complaints such as:

You didn't change my daughter's t-shirt.
Where is her hair clip? She's always losing hair clips and I have to keep buying more.
I don't think you're giving my child enough attention.
They keep having accidents (toilet accidents) but they never do at home.

And so on and so forth.............

Either that, or I'd like a job where I could actually speak my mind without any repercussions. That would be the most amazing job ever!!!!

So when I get comments like this........

My child is scared of coming to school. He says he doesn't want to come. I think it's because the staff are all grumpy, with the exception of you, Helen and you keep changing staff and managers. (They then threatened to take out this child and it turns out he was scared of having toilet accidents because he gets shouted at at home. And who discovered this? Me! Did I get an apology..............No!)

Or this.......My child is really upset when they come in and we're worried you're not paying them enough attention. Also their English is not improving. (Okay, all I will say here is that they just had a baby brother, it was after christmas which they'd spent with all their relatives that don't speak English and before Christmas they'd been doing shorter days.......Anyone else think there may be a correlation here??????? I've said it before......it ain't rocket science, it's common sense.)

Or this........We have a parent who regularly strolls in at 6.10/6.15 and never calls to say they'll be late. (I only get paid until 6). And the other day they came at 6.20 and said, "I was going to apologise but it looks like you're having a party and no one wants to go home." (I really had to beat the anger down. How exactly can I go home when there are children left and what do you want me to do sit them in a corner and not do anything with them. Of course we are going to entertain them why they are with us, it's not their fault they're picked up late!)

So if I had a job where I could speak my mind then I could tell them where to go! But alas, that day will never come and a job like that will never exist, because you're not allowed to do or say anything for fear of upsetting others. Shame really.....Ha ha.

I think I may have found my solution........A job with no kids. Then there would be no parents. OOOOOOO, I like that idea.

Now enough of that. After my shockingly bad day at work yesterday, the day had an amazing turn of events. For Christmas A's sister, S, bought us tickets for the Matilda musical. I was sceptical, I have to say as it was one of my all time favourite books and I've worshipped Roald Dahl since I was about 5. I always identified so much with the Matilda character, despite having a wonderful family and I was worried that making a song and dance out of it might ruin my beloved memories of said book.

But no. It was absolutely phenomenal! And what was weird was the audience were pretty much all the same age, my age, like it had captured the generation that had first read Matilda and had cherished it so much. The atmosphere was electric and there was this wonderous collective feeling. We felt every moment together, every joke, every shock, every moment of terror. And I have honestly never felt so invested in the characters and the story, so completely absorbed!

I would recommend to anyone that has ever loved this book, or anything by Roald Dahl. I guarantee it will have you dusting off your old books and digging it out for another read.

The Kids of the cast were phenomenal and I have to say I was worried they would be those irritating stage school brats that creep the life out of me. But they were actually shit hot! They were made to be up there and totally deserved the limelight. And whilst they were inevitably stage school brats, they just really went out and gave their all. I found myself welling up, reliving my youth. Seeing the story of my youth played out before me. To see the characters almost exactly how I'd imagined them. It was truly magical.

There was a standing ovation and I can honestly say that I've never heard applause that loud at the end of a show. Not even Phantom, not even West Side Story on Broadway. This was real, genuine joy. I was crying, laughing, smiling and just overwhelmed. I can't wait to get cheap tickets and go again. He he.

But the night didn't end there. We hadn't eaten, so A got us a toptable deal and we ended up at Cafe Des Amis in Covent Garden for some ridiculously freakin' awesome French food and fabulous service. The offer was amazing, so check it out. Half price food on up to two courses and a free bottle of wine. Yes that did just read free and wine in the same sentence. Whoop!

The food was amazing. I was buzzing after the musical. The staff were lovely. The wine was flowing. The bill was tiny. What more could you ask for? What a superb night. It even made me (mostly) forget about how crappy work was. Awesomeness!

Finally, I have a warning to those out there considering Netflix, or those that already have it. They should put a sticker on, or some sort of warning before you buy, but they don't. So here's mine.


Warning: Netflix with it's vast array of TV programmes, series from the US and UK, films in every genre you can think of including anime and world cinema, is evil and addictive. Beware, you may find yourself on the couch watching episode after episode or film after film and being unable to move. Side effects may include:
Washing up not done. Flat a complete tip. No writing done and never getting dressed, just sitting in your pyjamas.

So really guys, watch out for that! Ha ha.

Okay, I think I've given you a long enough rant now and hopefully I won't have to deal with the sackage today and have a great Thursday. We are being palaeontologists today and digging for dinosaurs. (I plan awesome activities for my kids. He he)

Ciao for now!

Helen