Quotes, Goats, Fake parties and Blondie.

So I've been looking back over the 114 past blogs and I have to say I'd forgotten some of the insane titles and content. I was also shocked to find one blog that had 141 views which is pretty much 100 views more than any other I've written. And it wasn't even my best work. Shocking. I think it was probably 'cause I mentioned the naked D&G glasses advert I saw on a bus???? Either that or people were just searching the word 'naked' or 'sex' as I write 'sex sells' about 12 times in there. Bizarre. Anyhoo, it's been epic and as I slowly trundle towards my two year blogging anniversary it's quite interesting to go back and read a few of them. Playdoughisms will probably remain one of my favourites until the end of time. 2 four year olds making 'cocks' out of play dough.....genius!

And so to today's round of rants. They are random and in no way interlinked, in true bitternortherner style, so here goes:

We had seven lovely people over for dinner last night, 2 veggie, 1 halal meat only, 4 meat eaters. Okay. now that was just a small dinner party at ours. So what I want to know, is how Nigella manages to have her lovely fake parties with every culture under the sun, but never has to worry about vegetarians, vegans, gluten free, halal meat, allergies, dietary requirements, no alcohol for the Muslims or pregnant people (though I don't remember seeing any pregnant people at her parties. Perhaps she doesn't let them come.)  No really, how does she do it?

This day and age, every group has got some sort of food affliction. Whether it's lactose intolerant, or allergies to white chocolate (that one still baffles me) and apples. Or half the party not drinking 'cause they're pregnant as they've all been sitting on the same chair. I mean, come on Nigella! I just don't believe that you can have a party with every colour and race of person and not have to make some allowance. Ooo, maybe she drugs them all and they have no idea what they're eating/drinking. You sneaky little lady....I know your secret!

App rage! Okay so we all know I'm a born technophobe and a remedial with all things technological but an app for painting and drawing. Fine. That's a great idea. Especially when you're out and about or in the car. But the advert..............
 Okay, if you haven't seen it, let me paint you a picture (no pun intended....well maybe a little bit). So this young, gorgeous model family live in a massive house with white everywhere, a massive flat screen TV, Ipads, macs, anything else you can think of is in the room. You know the type where everything has a place and it's so neat and tidy there's no way a child could actually be living in the house. 
Right, so then the little girl is creating lovely pictures on the Ipad and then printing them out and sticking them on the wall. And every one's smiling and it's all so nice........

But it does seem to take all the fun out of arts and crafts. Where's the felt tip marked fingers, that even though it says washable never come off? Where's the mess? The crayons? The paint stained cushion covers and clothes? Where's the fun?
Lo and behold a child would besmirch your sterile, all white living room. Man I'd love to roll in red paint and dance a jig on the white couch.
Soon kids won't even know what a paintbrush is. They'll believe that a paintbrush is the cursor or the little icon on screen and paint, the colours that flow from it. Honestly, it's about touch, texture, getting stuck in, feeling the paper, making a mess and learning about clearing up after yourself.
It makes me so angry. But I'm not angry at the app. That's a great thing to have alongside all the regular stuff. It's mainly the way it's marketed with the designer family, with their model looks and perfect existence. Come on, I'm sure you could market it as a great app when you're on the go. Like if you're on a bus or train or in the car or something?????
Digital arts and crafts, making OCD, clean freaks out of kids. May they never pick up a paintbrush and soil our perfect existence.

Best Maggie Smith quote from Downtown Series 1 episode 6:
 "You can normally find an Italian who's not too picky."
He he. I did! Maggie, what a ledge!

Ahhhhh. Now to Blondie and the Lego shop Westfield Stratford. I'm shopping for a present and enjoying the Lego shop because it's awesome, when The Blondie tune, 'One way or Another' comes on the sound system. My friend S and I are struggling to think where we've heard it recently when the very nosey sales assistant comes across and says:

"Well One Direction have just released a cover of it."

Face screwed up in disgust. No that's not it! Oh dear, not even Blondie's safe. (They better leave Katie Bush and Tori Amos well alone, or there'll be hell to pay. )

Needless to say we made our thoughts known and made a quick exit. I mean, do I look like someone who is likely to be at all interested in One Di-pissin'-rection??? Emphasis on the Di(e).

Eventually, I figured out where I'd heard it recently though. Cayote Ugly. Ha! (I blame Love Film streaming.)

Quote from the synopsis of 'Silent House', a horror film with one of the Olsen twins.
'Alone in an unoccupied, dimly lit house.'

Well that's just asking for trouble! I mean talk about walking straight into a horror movie. Very silly! And she does loads of stupid things like go in the basement. What good ever came from going down the basement? Nothing! Come on...think about it!

Goats. Goats are funny, especially when incorporated into crappy pop songs. Goats making human sounds are also amusing. Goats plus wine equals crying with laughter.

And finally a quote from Disturbed, just because I can:

'Savour the addiction
Savour the affliction
Savour me'
Saviour of me! (what I like to think is the following line even though I know it isn't.)

I am Finally understanding this twitter melarchy and currently tweeting like a Bitch with hash tagging and all sorts for a sneak peak of Cassandra Clare's final book in the Internal Devices Series. Clockwork Princess. If you are a fan of YA fantasy and haven't checked out The Mortal Instruments series as well as The Internal Devices........what are you thinking???? She is fantabulous. So well written. Amazing characters and books you can really lose yourself in. Must tweet more! They are only revealing one word of the book for every 100 tweets. Argh!

Ciao for now.