I've just come back from the hair dressers. I hear you gasp in shock. But hadn't your magic handed Italian God of hair, left? Yes. He has and it took me a further two months after I found this out to pluck up the courage to go back and try someone else.
To be fair though my hair was fast resembling straw and I was too embarrassed to wear it down. I've even taken to wearing bandanas and all sort of scarves, intricately woven into and around my hair, just to detract from the actual hair itself. And it seemed to be working, although the kids did keep asking me if I'd hurt myself. They thought the scarf was a bandage. Ha ha. When I wore my skull bandana they called me pirate Helen all day. (Was kind of awesome actually! ARRRRRRRR!)
Anyway, so after a particularly shitty day at work (well a particular shitty few weeks at work, but we'll get onto that later.) I went in on whim yesterday and just thought, if they have space for tomorrow, then it's meant to be. And lo and behold, they did.
I got there early, thinking I would have time to take my hair down - no mean feat, taking a while due to clips and pins and scarves knotted and wrapped around several times - but of course I get in there and it's completely dead and they're ready for me. Then I felt totally embarrassed as she watched me disassemble the hair do, revealing my straw head. She had the most gloriously long hair, straight and gorgeous of course.
Anyhoo, I told them the usual completely uninteresting style I wanted and she got to it. And I have to say it looks great! She even blow dried it with a little curly bit at the end, which lasted as long as it took me to pay, because then I ventured out into the tempest. The wind was brutal and my poor beautiful hair soon became a mess, but oh well. I know how it really looked before the wind took hold and that will have to do. A texted saying he couldn't wait to see it when he got home, shame he never will. Ha ha.
My word I've had some shockingly (or not so shockingly) shit days at work recently. Everyone wants something from me, whether it be paper work or files updating,, or new children starting or a freakin' birthday party. I'm being pulled in that many different directions I don't know which is up and which is down.
And that's making me grumpy, which in turns makes me not want to be arsed, which then in turn makes me want to just sit on my ass and do sweet FA.
I'm sick of people interfering and trying to tell me that after 4 years (yes I've been in London and my current job for four years - anniversary was yesterday.) I'm not doing my job properly, or I'm not doing things the way the other branches do. Quite frankly I couldn't give a shit about the other branches. I've never even seen them and I don't know anyone there and I've never had any complaints from Parents about how I run the place or how I do my portfolios. URGH!
We've had some particularly interesting new arrivals in the shape of paddying, throwing themselves on the floor and banging their heads, repeatedly, and every time you ask them to do something or try to help them they just scream NO! Also we've got a few language barriers and some hitting, pushing, kicking.etc. Lovely.
So we're all having a great time at the moment..........Not!
On top of that I've got all the usual pooh, wee, sickness and dribble, oh and a cup of water down my back, the other day when I was on my lunch break typing. Thanks for that one. One of the children tripped and splashed it all down my back. Lovely.
Can't believe how bad it's been this week and we were only there 3 days. I think if it had only been Wednesday now, I'd definitely be calling in sick tomorrow. I literally could not force myself to go there and do it all over again another two times this week. I'm exhausted and fed up! Sometimes I wish there was just ten kids and me. We would have the best time ever. I could have an assistant who would cover my lunch and help put them to sleep and that would be it. Awesome. And it would only open 9-4. IN MY DREAMS.
Ha ha. That's a lie, because in my dreams I'm a writer and I don't have to bother with this going out to work bullshit. My table and my laptop and my self-discipline are my work place. In my dreams I also continue my music lessons in various places around London. It's fun to dream.
Anyhoo, enough about work, let's talk about The Offspring. Slightly bizarre change of subject but oh my word how good were they live on Tuesday night at Shepherd's Bush Empire????? They were awesome! And barely seemed to have aged (well Noodles had a bit) since the last time I saw them at the MEN in Manchester, when I was 17. Ha ha. Just 11 years ago then.
If you've never been to the Empire before, it has 3 levels of seating/standing and the stalls area which depending on who you're going to see with have seats or standing. Now of course for The Offspring it was standing but A got us 1st tier seating as he figured I wouldn't see anything on the floor as everyone would be taller than me, besides I'm not so young anymore that I want to particularly be rubbing up against tall strangers, seeing only the back of people's heads or having people crowd surf over me, knock my glasses off and destroy them, (Yes that did actually happen to me at a Skin gig in Manchester Academy 3, years ago. But with glasses as beautiful as mine, that's not even a remote option.)
Well Dexter still has it.........Yum Yum! Check this out.
I thought we'd be partying with the oldies, seeing as how The Offspring have been around for years, but I was disappointed at the amount of kids there (and of course by kids I mean 18-22). Ewwww they were everywhere. Ha ha. I like it when I'm the youngest there and everyone's older, it's nice. It's always like that at Tori gigs and I'm kind of hoping it will be like that at the Marilyn Manson gig in July (slightly scared I will come away injured from that one.).
But what was really irritating was how much they couldn't keep still. They were up for a drink every twenty minutes or up to the toilets. It was like being at work again. And this was throughout the gig, whilst The Offspring were playing. I mean, did they not pay to listen and watch? I sure as hell did. Even if I was busting for a piss, I'd still be there cross legged, squeezing for all I was worth. I can't miss a second of something that I've paid for. Call me tight arse, but I just can't and not only that but I don't want to miss anything.
Anyhoo, kids with ants in their pants aside, we did have a good laugh at the guy that was completely caned and possibly out of his head on drugs too. He was doing some sort of experimental dance which often consisted of him falling or stumbling and/or whacking innocent bystanders in the face. What a dick! He was standing up at the balcony and was blocking most people's view. Everyone on our side was getting pissed off with him and one guy kicked off with him and then he ended up getting chucked out by a steward.
We also had the two kids (again must have been 20ish) that decided it would be really fun to strip off, until the stewards came to tell them off. Then everyone in the stalls started cheering and booing the steward. I was just thinking put your clothes on. Let's face it, they didn't look like Dexter. But what was the weirdest thing was that, okay we were in seats but still surely you'd make an effort to move. It was hardly a stationary kind of music. I couldn't keep still. I was stamping my feet, shaking my head and having a good old boogie in my seat. But when you looked out most people were just sat still. Zombies?
I think I may have a new business idea. I could teach people how to dance in their seats. It's a new art form and I seem to be at the forefront of it. So if you want to learn more about the seat dance and it's many intricacies, call me on 808-seat dance or visit the website www.shakeyourassinyourseat.co.uk.
Anyway, enough randomness for one evening but I did enjoy my Friday rant and I feel slightly better, even with my wind swept barnet and aching thighs. Looking forward to chicken with prosciutto wrapped around. Sometimes having a boyfriend who cooks is the best thing ever!
Have a great weekend everyone. Don't get blown away. If you have a garden fence.....beware!
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