The day of failure: No words......

A sad day. 18/4/12. A break in the flow. Today there were no words, except the hastily scribbled notes for this blog that I wrote on the tube journey home. A sad, sad day.

After 7 days of positive productivity, courtesy of Simon Whaley's wonderful book and of course my god damn hard work. I've written 14,600 words towards my second novel; a blog of 1055 words, element 3 of my music syllabus which was 303 words and a letter to the parents about our new Space topic which was 316 words.........(take a breath).............With a grand total of  16, 274 words. IN A WEEK! Whoop! (and I was working 4 of those days!)

But then tragedy struck.  There were no words yesterday. And I am sad! And mad actually. Mad at myself for being good at my job and for actually caring about stuff. Sometimes I just wish I was slightly shitter at my job. Then I wouldn't feel that niggle of guilt if I even contemplated not meeting a deadline.

After a lull of 3 weeks or so, I'm now being bombarded with SENCo stuff again (Special Educational Needs related stuff) which as much as I love all my kids, is a real ball ache. Reams and reams of paperwork, meetings, reviews, formulations, and possibilities for all these activities and work cycles you can do, if you had extra staff and 93 hours in a day. Urgh! Why does it have to be so hard??????

Oh, realised I just sounded like a whiney kid. I really do spend way too much time with them..........ha ha.
Actually last week was lovely, what with the bank holiday and then my manager giving me the Friday off as time owed. Working 3 days was a real eye opener and obviously helped towards my ridiculously high writing output. And it kinda got me thinking...........Maybe I could ask again to cut my hours. I asked last summer when the numbers of children went ridiculously low, but they said it would impede on my duties as a room leader. But I think if I go in there and throw a hissy fit and complain about all the additional work I do and how long I've been there and all that jazz, then I might be able to persuade them. I could do it just for the summer and then when the numbers went back up I could go back to 5 days.

Working 4 days instead of five could mean an extra 5,000 words a week and when novel writing is what your heart, mind, body and soul is craving, then you just can't ignore it! Although, it'll probably take me a month to pluck up the courage to ask. You know what I'm like.

And not only is it SENCo stuff but it's Orchestra case studies. You really don't get anything for free! Ha ha. We had some players from a London Orchestra come to play for the children and by Friday I have to have sent them our complete case study evaluating what happened, what we did to prepare and if the children, parents and staff enjoyed it. Sounds fairly straight forward. But no. If you're Helen (and unfortunately I am) then you have to have the best, most bright colourful, lengthy (I don't do brief) and most fantabulous case study the World has ever seen. Even though once we've handed it in and had our meeting about it with other settings in Camden (Yes, another meeting!) it'll probably be shoved in a filing cabinet and never see the light of day again. I can't help it though. I can't do things half heartedly. If my name is on it, then I want it to be great!
Man, I'm a pain in my own ass!

Urgh, I had a hair in face moment on the tube, and not my hair. Eeek. Nasty! This girl had her back to me and anytime I moved it was like stroking my face. But if I tried to hold back then I was bumping and grinding against the guy behind me. I couldn't choose the best of two evils, so I accepted a bit of both and then thankfully she got off at Euston.

Am I the only one in the World (or at least Britain) that is enjoying being back in my thick coat, hat, gloves and scarf???? Yes? Thought so. I just love being wrapped up and cosy and the weather makes me think of Autumn, though it's lacking the mesmerising colours. Anyhoo, I'm not complaining too much, but the kids a little restless due to not always being able to go outside and play in the garden. Still, I'm getting them interested in the clouds and weather again. Muhahahahahah. I'll make them all into musical, cloud obsessed geeks if it's the last thing I do! Muhahahahahahah.

I am not sleeping well at the moment. And I don't know why. I'm not going to bed ridiculously late, or getting totally trashed (alcohol for some reason keeps me up, probably the dehydration), but I am having trouble turning my brain off again. Sometimes I wish there was a silence button, where your thoughts could meander around but didn't whisper to you the whole night. Or one of those hibernate buttons that you have on a computer, to save energy but still be on. That could work too. Either that or I'll just have to borrow Dumbledore's pensieve. I'm sure he wouldn't mind. He he.

N.B Trying to write a blog with three people talking around you and talking to you and talking in another language, is very distracting. (Love you all but I can't concentrate).

Whaley's book) and something that I am heading towards, but just beware, if you come in between me and my writing I may just rip your arm off and use it as a wrist rest whilst typing. Yes, I can make that work.

And enough of scary psycho me. As much as I am sad about yesterday's lack of writing output, I think my weekly total gives me a bit of leeway and I am already cracking on today with whatever my blog total comes to. So whoop! I'm back on track.

You see, this is what you can achieve if YOU WORK HARD! And all that other capital, underlined and bold printed bull shit. But it did work for me and if I carry on this way, I'll have a second novel written before my October holiday, as well as many blogs and hopefully other writing projects.

Thank you for listening to me rant. I think I'd explode otherwise.

Oh and I keep forgetting to get excited about the Puppini Sisters gig tomorrow at Shepherds Bush. Whoop! It's gonna be full of insanely amazing outfits, sexy strutting and some spectacular harmonies. I cannot wait!!!!!
Do be do whop!

Happy wet, grey, Thursday!