Tuesday, November 22, 2011

The Terror! The Horror!

I had to wait a day before blogging, not only because that would've been two blogs in two days, but because I was just too gutted! It's been a bit of a trauma over at Flat 19. Well, for me at least.

I arrived home from my lovely weekend up North, in the knowledge that our fridge/freezer was on it's last legs and we were going to have to get a new one, and they no longer did them in black, so we'd have to have a white one and I was just about coming to terms with that. Although saying goodbye would be tough. I get awfully attached to things.

But then, about twenty seconds after walking through the door, I get told that the toaster's gone as well. Now this isn't just any toaster, this is a pirate toaster, that puts skull and cross bones on your bread. I mean, how cool is that? Gutted!!!!! A wasn't bothered at all. He's always hated my toaster. I think there was definitely an element of sabotage going on there.............

And now he wants to buy some boring ass toaster, that actually works properly and doesn't put skull and cross bones on your toast. I mean, where is the fun in that?????

Now, as if two things weren't bad enough for the woman that hates change with a firey passion and just wants everything to stay the same and work forever and just not abandon me. Then he pipes up with. "Oh you know how I took your Ipod to get fixed (the microphone was busted for face time chats) well yeah, there was nothing they could do, so they just replaced it."

Jaw hit floor. Anger. Annoyance. Betrayal. How could they?

"So this isn't my Ipod."
"No. It's a new one."

And my answer to that was........."But I didn't get to say goodbye."

I looked at it with disgust. Even though it looked the same. I knew it wasn't my Ipod. And then he drops the final bombshell, that all my music got wiped off it. So I'd have to go through and put all my music back on. ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Three is most certainly not the magic number. It's a cruel and horrible number. Why do things come in three's? Just to piss you off? To drive you over the edge?

So, this week I will say goodbye to two  lovely Flat 19 appliances that have been with us since the beginning. But I will never get chance to say goodbye to my Ipod. I wonder what they do with 'em? I just have this vision of all the slightly broken, discarded technology dumped in a dark room, all sad and lonely and missing their owners. A bit like Andy's toys in Toy Story. There wasn't even that much wrong with it. Humph!

Well, as usual I deal with the change even though I DO NOT WANT IT! And so I thought I should try and bond with the new Ipod. And the easiest way I could think of was by naming it. And so I did.

Frank.

I managed to restore most of my music on there and added a few additional songs and I think me and Frank are on good terms. But it seems my head phones have gone a bit dodgy. Now things don't come in fours, so that implies another cycle of three. But I just don't think I could cope with that. I really don't!

I did have fun with Frank today though. I put my music on songs and played them alphabetically, so you got such gems as Baker Baker (Tori Amos) followed by Beheaded (The Offspring). Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Genius!

Oooooo and I actually saw the Kentish Town vampire this evening on my way home from work. He was all in black but tight fitting and a nice waistcoat and died black hair and black glasses and he just oozed vampire. Awesome. I told you they existed and how cool that one resides in Kentish Town. And speaking of vampires, only two days to go ladies until Twilight Night. Whoop. C, L, T and S and D will be treated to what is probably a terrible film, followed by burgers and drinkies. What an amazing way to spend a Thursday evening. Can't wait my lovelies.

And on a final note. Goodbye, amazing, one of a kind tiny fridge/freezer, in black. I will miss you, although the door kept sticking which was really beginning to piss me off. All our magnets will have to find a new home. I'll think of you from time to time and try to imagine you're somewhere fun, with other fridges and freezers. I'll miss you.

And goodbye pirate toaster, who "kept me spirits up, me hearties" and didn't cost much of me buried treasure and always made me go, "Arrrrrr!" whenever I used it. You have served us fairly well, though more often than not you burnt stuff, or only did one side particularly well. But I loved you all the same. We don't expect people to be perfect, so why expect the same from appliances. It's their little quirky nuances that keep you on your toes.

And finally. The goodbye I can never make face to face, but that needs saying anyway. Goodbye Ipod touch. Deep down I know you knew I never really wanted you. I always felt I didn't need you as I already had my scruffy old, 2nd gen Ipod nano and I had no intention of getting rid of it. But you soon took over, with your features such as internet and facebook capabilities and your face time function that allowed me to talk to A wherever he happened to have flounced off to that week. You kept me company on plenty of long train journies and your battery life was impressive. I'm sorry I never named you. It was wrong, but it also would've hurt more. I did need you. You were useful and I did love you, just not in quite the same magnitude as my nano. Thank you for your dutiful 11 months service. Peace out!

Now, I think I better scarper before the men in the white coats turn up to cart me off.
Happy Tuesday guys.

Until the next blog.
Helen

No comments:

Post a Comment

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.