And Tori does it again!

Genius and Goddess are two words that come to mind when I think of the wonder that is, Tori Amos. I just got back from an absolutely electric night at The Royal Albert Hall. Wow!

But don't worry, this isn't just a gushing rant of amazement at the pure talent of one of the most amazing female performers in history, there's still plenty of pissed off bitterness and general annoyance to go around.

Ah, the support act.......Hmmmmmmm. Well, the opening song was interesting and I thought, finally a decent support act. His voice was great and had some cute little nuances, but then the second song hit......

I pretty much wanted to slit my wrists. The songs were completely depressing and disgustingly soppy. I mean, I do have a natural aversion to soppy ballads anyway, but this was cringe worthy in parts. And some of the lyrics. Dear Lord. 'You were wonderful. I was awful.' Yeah, you really were. Ha ha. The piano parts were static and to be fair I coulda played 'em, so that goes to show how insanely repetitive and uninteresting they must've been.

Most of the songs would have been more at home on an episode of Dawson's Creek, or worse: they would've made it onto the Dawson's Creek soundtrack. Eek. But maybe I do him a disservice. He did have some redeeming qualities, mainly his thick, rich voice and his amazing sense of humour. He was proper making every one laugh.....well, between songs. Ha ha. But he did greatly over share. We got the life story, everything. The break-up, six months ago; the reasons why; where it happened and where they last did it. Oh, and also the fact that he wasn't wearing any underpants. I mean, really, was that necessary to know......?

Although, I do understand how the verbal diarrhea can take over when you're shitting one and you have to perform, or talk in a large group, or both. Eeeessshhhhkkk! But I just couldn't stop rolling my eyes.

And after a twenty minute break, the string quartet entered and then the legend herself. And boy did she look great. Her dress was just amazing! Long and flowing, with a sort of half cape thing. Awesome! There were some tracks off the new album, which were beautifully realised with piano, vocals and string quartet. And I have to say, this was the best I'd seen her in a couple of years. The night was electric and the goose bumps were back in abundance, especially on tracks Suede; Bells for Her and Cruel.

Suede was just phenomenal.

Then there were of course, the golden oldies:
Cloud on my tongue
Precious Things
Winter
Leather
Silent all these years
Beauty Queen/Horses
Marianne.

And what was fabulous was that she also included a lot of her little shorter songs, which gave the string quartet time to re-enter the stage and stuff. And they were ones she doesn't always use.

Way Down
Mr Zebra
Velvet Revolution.

And then of course, being Tori, there was the obligatory covers, only a couple but very very good.

Scarborough Fair
Smells like Teen Spirit.

And after two encores, it was all over for another couple of years. Thank you Tori. You continue to write incredible songs and influence me both musically and from a writing perspective. And yes, I am extremely jealous and bitter as I know I'll never ever make it as a singer and that is what I'd wanted to do since I was about 7. Ah well. I guess I just wasn't programmed correctly for that. I think I'm more suited to writing. You can hide behind your words. It's kinda comforting. Or at least it will be when I'm eventually published.

Oh and finally there were some interesting characters at the gig tonight. There was the guy sat in front of me, that sang along to every song really loud and was pissing everyone off around him. If I'd been told I'd be listening to him all night, I wouldn't have bothered paying the 50 quid for my ticket, I'd've gone to a pissin' karaoke night or something. Middle aged tosser. Anyhoo, some angry woman told him off and he at least reduced the volume.

Then there was the woman sat across the row from us who actually got chucked out for making too much noise and pissin' off everyone around her. Awesome!

Oh. I forgot to brag about how amazing my seat was. I was 7 rows from the front on the arena floor and was slap bang in Tori's eye line the entire time. WICKED!

Good night. And check out Tori Amos' amazing back catalogue if you aren't already a huge fan. She will pleasantly surprise you!

Helen