17 bows per second and a few bites to boot. Hello from Hiroshima.

Petite, delicate, insanely stylish, thin, ridiculously cute........ Nope, I'm not describing myself, but all Japanese girls/ladies/women. It's becoming slightly annoying. After a week of trying to imagine I was any of these things, I've given up and decided that instead I'll just become slightly more gnarled and bitter. It's way more fun.

So, to fashion and all things clothes. Hmmmmm. You know the stereotypes and can I just say that most of them are spot on. Many of the girls go around in the pleated short skirts, with over the knee socks and bunches. It is like living in a creepy guy fetish, but 24/7. Although I would just like to state for the record that I am insanely jealous. They look amazing and if I could pull it off, believe me, I would be trying.

Okay, the next issue is heels. Oh my God, it's 32 degrees outside, you're taking trains and cable cars into the mountains; you're climbing up to sulphur springs and what are you wearing on your perfect little feet???? Yeah, you guessed it, delicate little heels, or beautiful wedges. Meanwhile, I'm wearing my etnies and cut off jeans, or my sandals, or my beat up vans. I mean, they're out shopping, trawling the streets for hours upon hours and it's all killer heels. I mean, shouldn't heels only be worn at weddings or at night time? No? Is that not the rule?

I think what really gets my goat is how comfortable they look. A and I are melting in shorts and they're looking fab in skinny jeans, or leggings with a cute dress. They don't break a sweat, they just keep their trusty flannel with them at all times, or carry a parasol or a fan. Yes, all the above stereotypes are also true. But it's awesome. I'd've been well upset it if wasn't true. And believe me, I could well get on board with the fan and parasol. I think I could get away with it in Camden. Anything goes.....ha ha.

Okay, the next slight annoyance is the one size thing. I went in this really cool shop and was trying on a few things, but they only had one of each thing out, only one size as though one size would fit all Japanese girls. Needless to say the tops were too tight. Anyone surprised? They obviously don't cater for anyone taller than 5ft 5 or a size 8. Eek. Oh well, it's not like I really needed them. I've had way more fun spending money on other people. I love buying people holiday presents. I know no one really does it anymore, but it just makes me so happy and distracts me from not being an elf like waif......ha ha.

Okay, now to bikes. Hmmmm, they annoy me enough in London when they decide they're not stopping at the zebra crossing or a red light. But in Japan, it's amazing. They are actually allowed to cycle on the pavements. Of course they're meant to keep to one side, but they don't. So you're dodging people and bikes and its crazy. Even at crossings they're supposed to keep to their little cycle lane thing, but they don't.

And so to diet. Deep fried stuff, with rice and noodles and more deep fried stuff, like for instance deep fried rice balls, or fried rice on sticks. MMMMMM. Just try and calculate the calorie intake. It's immense and they're all so trim. Genetics. It's a right bitch sometimes. But the best thing is the puddings. Deep fried strawberries.....I'm not kidding. But the best ever, was the dippin' dots, which is hailed as the ice cream of the future. It's essentially uber frozen balls of flavoured ice, but they stay as balls. WEIRD!!!!! And it was, but also strangely yummy. Perhaps it will be the ice cream of the future. Or we could just keep it as it is. Ice cream rocks.

Okay, one last gripe because I really am having an amazing time, but things are always gonna annoy you, when you're somewhere new or somewhere different. And this is both! But it's the theme tunes and jingles. They're for everything and anything and they're everywhere and it's beginning to do my nut in. Each train line has a different jingle to play when the doors open, when it leaves, when it departs, bearing in mind there's about 75,000 different train lines. Each tube line in Tokyo has a different jingle. Some traffic signals have jingles. Some lifts have them........You get my drift........There is never silence. Never contemplation of any kind. Just pointless noise. And it's not like they even go anywhere. It's normally 3 or 4 note motifs, on glocks on synths.....and always annoyingly optimistic. In Matsumoto where we were earlier today, they actually had music playing in the streets the whole time. All soothing and calm and....urgh. It made me more stressed listening to that than it would've done with the hum drum of the city...cars and people and life. 

Okay enough ranting now. The Japanese are so lovely. If they see you lost or even just checking your map, they are out there like a shot asking to help you. And even if they don't speak particularly good English, they are happy to sign things and eventually between the three of us we get somewhere. Besides their English is always gonna be better than our Japanese. Though A did learn some before we went. He's so good. I'm ever the ignorant Brit. Dammit!

argy bargy, free for all, shoving out of the way like in London. It's civilised and people actually respect each other. it's kinda beautiful and laughable at the same time. Just because I know that would never happen in my country.

The service is incredible. In restaurants, shops, hotels. It is fantastic. I've never known people to say thank you more than me, but they do. And they bow out of respect and kindness and it really is lovely to see, though sometimes it seems like no one wants to be the one to stop the bowing and it goes on for a long while.

The vending machines are everywhere and there is no vandalism or crime or anything. It's weird and also nice. You feel so safe. And you can get a drink wherever and whenever you feel like it. In the smallest village, at all train and tube stations and even on platforms and down each and every street or alleyway. We were very lucky as the weather has been so hot. I literally would've melted all over the pavement. He he.
I promise it'll be over soon guys. My word this is a long one. Well, the Shinkansen trains are amazing and all futuristic looking and ridiculously fast and pretty much always on time. Virgin eat your heart out. The rail network is astonishing. How on Earth they get all those different train lines and schedules to work, I'll never know, but well done. Without your uber fast trains there's no way we'd be able to investigate and explore as much of Japan as we are doing.

Finally, at the tender age of 28, I finally made it to Disneyland. Wow! What could possibly be more giddy than a load of kids at Disneyland????? A load of Japanese teens and twenty somethings. It was hilarious. A and I were literally the only westerners and we stuck out like the proverbial sore thumbs, but what was insane was the extent to which Disney is worshipped. Even all the guys had the mickey mouse ears and the wizard hats and stuff. i couldn't decide if it was to pull girls or just because they were mega fans. Anyhoo, we had an awesome time and managed a few rides and some excellent people watching. Plus we got to go in the castle and took a load of photos. We were super giddy, but it was also the same day we'd been to the Studio Ghibli museum, so giddiness was in abundance.

Well, thank you for reading this lengthy rant/adoration of the wonderful country of Japan and it's people. We still have a week left and many more interesting places to see. And in just over half and hour I'll be in Hiroshima and then I can actually post this on the web.

Until the next one.....