Skinny, super skinny or painted on? Urrrr, how about neither......

Argh, nearly a week has gone by again, and still only one blog. My humblest apologies. Time seems to be slipping away from me.....literally. Only 5 days left on the bridesmaid diet. Woo Hoo! Not sure if it's worked, but at least I tried. You can't say fairer than that.

Ok, so shopping for jeans. This is the bain of my exsistence. To say I'm particular with my jeans is to say it rains a lot in Manchester. I mean, skinny jeans.......I still don't get them. I doubt I ever will, unless suddenly my legs seriously slim down and I grow about 6 inches. Trust me when I say, my legs and skinny jeans.....not a good combination. So anyway, in most shops your choice is skinny, super skinny and painted on. So of course, I curse the world for having mahoosive thighs and move on to the next shop.

The annoying thing is that I remember when all there were was flared jeans and bootcut and that was lovely. A time when you're ankles were free of constricting material. A time when you could conceal the true size of your legs, beneath an overdose of denim. Ah, those were the days. Granted, I'm talking about 10 years ago when I was in Uni. Ha ha. Since then, it's been the demise of the flares. Oh, until they brought out the skinny flare......argh! See this is also torture for a large thighed woman, because most of the time I couldn't even get a pair on. And they didn't flare much.

So, as I desperately search for the perfect pair of jeans, I come across several in Next. Now I have made friends with Next in the past couple of years, as they do have nice wide legged and flared jeans and normally I can get away with an 8, which makes me smile. But on this occasion, I try on the 10s and they're about 3 inches too big on the waist, fairly snug on the thigh, but that was expected. So then I try the 8. Dear lord, I could barely get them on and fastening the button was torture. So needless to say, I'm obviously a 9, but my thighs are more size 12/14. It's annoying the hell out of me. It's not like I can just saw a bit of thigh off. Though that would be nice. Anyhoo, I should stop ranting about my thigh size. I know Beyonce's happy with hers and gets them out at every availability, but we're not all that gorgeous and confident and rich. Some of us simply want them covered, but not accentuated, just quietly understated would do. That's all I want!

Exhales calmly......

On a happier note, I got a super cute pair of Etnies in the Schuch sale. Yum. They are lush! They have a lovely rounded toe, which is one of my stipulations for a good shoe and they are this beautiful shade of blue, with white stripes and laces. I red heart them! Though, I'm trying them on and thinking, at some point I'm gonna be too old to wear these.....hmmmmm, I wonder when that will be. Well, not now anyway. Ha Ha! I defy the Gods of age as I still get I.D'd and most people think I'm about 8 years younger then I am. So I think I still have a few years of cute Etnies left in me yet. Muhahahahahahahahah.

I was up in Wigan for a Hen Do at the weekend. Eek, I was drunk as Ken and Ken was drunk! (It's a weird Wigan saying for those of you that think who the hell is Ken. We have a whole load of vocabulary and sayings that just ain't heard anywhere else. But I'm managing to disperse them across the country and even into Italy through my fella. Ha ha.) There was far too much wine drunk by myself and presumably others and I fell asleep at me Mum and Dad's in my clothes. I haven't done that in a long while. Uni flashbacks, Uni flashbacks. Ha ha.

Well, the deal is, no alcohol this week, until the wedding on Saturday. Lots of singing practise as I'm singing at the Wedding. Eek, I hope I don't screw it up. Lots of writing as A is away three nights this week. And of course another blog. Two in a week is the plan, let's see if I can manage it this time.

Thanks for reading. It's much appreciated. I'm glad I can provide some mild entertainment with my bitter rants. Have a great week guys......Urgh......Monday.

Helen
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