Saturday, May 14, 2011

Home made burgers, home made chips, wine, chocolate and Eurovision.

So, whilst the interval is going on, I'm gonna start my Eurovision rant.
Well, firstly I'd like to say, well done to all 25 Countries for keeping me ranting and mostly entertained, though the cider and vino could've had something to do with it.
Well, needless to say, I had my notepad with me throughout, so I have a rundown of each of the 25 Countries and my comments. I will try to keep it brief, I promise.

1 Finland. Well, the word wholesome came to mind straight away. He'd clearly never been touched. I think he needs a good f**k personally, then maybe he'd sing a bit better and write better songs.
2 Bosnia-Hertzgovina. Pretty darn terrible and Old guy were my only comments here.
3 Denmark. Could've been good, but then turned out a bit cheesy pop.
4 Lithuania. Slightly melodramatic music theatre number, but unpredictable and pretty good voice.
5 Hungary. How old are you? Plus her voice was flat as ken, and Ken is flat.
6 Jedward. I don't think we need many comments here. Although I think s**t but good pretty much covers it.
7 Sweden. My first thought was 'Oh my God that guy is ridiculously attractive.' but then he started to sing and with a chorus like Popular, oh dear lord. His attractiveness suddenly plummeted!
8 Estonia. Scary costumes, scary face and a sharp voice. Altogether, not good!
9 Greece. He he.  What the f**k? The Greek Eminem?
10 Russia. Jolly dancers. Loves himself and quite frankly, NO!
11 France. Bored now and brush your hair you scruffy bastard!
12 Italy. Good intro. Nice braces. Sexy out of breath voice. the only downfall was the balls grabbing moment at the end. But as half of my household is Italian, I was very proud.
13 Switzerland. Tinkly, wet, flat, shit!
14 United Kingdom. I was actually pleasantly surprised by this. Well done Blue. They really tried very hard!
15 Moldova. Crazy hats. Cone heads. The random unicycle woman was unnecessary, but I have to say I voted for the crazy rocking smurfs. Ha ha.
16 Germany Sexy lady. Silver condoms for backing dancers. Not a bad song but a weak voice.
17 Romania. Creepy guy. 70's throw back. Shit!
18 Austria. Shocking song but the girl can freakin' sing! Amazing voice!
19 Azerbijan. My first comment was, Are they even in Europe? Then I realised that the probably gay guy was about 10 years younger than the woman, crazy cradle snatcher. Lovely wind machine but they really needed to learn to sing in tune.
20 Slovenia. Christina Aguilera wannabe, but she was actually really really good. The girl could wail! Though she couldn't dance for toffee.
21 Iceland. This was actually really cute. I dug the waistcoats and the chubby singer was very sweet!
22 Spain. Happy Spaniards. She can't dance for shit and has really annoying backing dancers that I kinda wanted to punch in the face.
23 Ukraine. Cool sand art but it sort of detracted from the rubbish song and bad outfits. So on second thoughts, that was a good thing.
24 Serbia. Austin Powers, 60's fun.
25 Georgia. A bit ropey in the verse but nice and rocky and quite shockingly good.

Well hopefully that wasn't too painful to go through. now I am getting more and more frustrated with the fact that the top two are the two I hated the most! Ah well. Blue and Jedward had a good go and we didn't come last so that's the main thing.
100 points for the UK. Well Done! 119 for Jedward. Good try!

Well as usual, the political voting worked against us, as we have no friends. But well done also to Italy who came second after a 14 year absence from the competition. I was actually surprised how much I enjoyed that.

Well, I'm signing off for now, with the strange news that I became a member of Twitter tonight, so I can now tweet. I'm becoming tech savvy-ish. Can you believe it? Helen is stepping into the 21st century. Ha ha.

Have a fabulous rest of the night.
Helenxxxxx

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